i know you must be jonesin'

hi everybody...

yes i know its been almost 1 week since i've last wrote.. some of us have interviewing to do!!

the search continues.. i'm in dc right now (thanks for letting me use your computer b)... just finished a grueling 3 days of interviews and i have more to come in nyc...

anywho.... i hope you all are well... and i'll have some good stories for you soon...

smooches!
-g

happy inauguration day!

if i was president bush, my speech would be "nana nana boo boo.. i'm still president and you're not" and then i would stick out my tongue... i must admit though i do regret not being in dc... but it is uber cold... here's to 2008.

a day of addictions

As most of you know (except for the people lucky enough to find this site by chance), I have another addiction… not the starbucks addiction (which by the way doesn’t count, considering they drug their coffee so people drink it)… ok, and not the gambling one either… I am a skirt/dress buying addict… As I explained to schmando today I had to concede….

me: your code name is schmando
schmando: love it
me: i just had a skirt buying accident
schmando: how's that?
me: well, i had to buy this skirt…i swear it talked to me
(skirt): buy me, gina.. look how cute i make you
me: it was awful…i kept saying: skirt, i'm unemployed...
me: didn't work
schmando: lol

now I know not all of you believe that the skirt actually talked to me… but I swear it did.. just like my closet which says “I’m full” (which schmeffy tries to convince me is because I have too many clothes, but I think the closet learned that from that annoying Taco Bell commercial.. damn TV influences too much in this world)…

enjoy the snow, everyone!

these are the days of our lives

5 years ago i was introduced to a horrible addiction... the wonderful world of soap operas... now, i know how cliche it is to be an unemployed female watching soaps all day.. but it truly is an addiction... and i only watch one soap.. days of our lives.. where else can people get bitch slapped and say "you just bitch slapped me"... not to mention these shows clearly are made to make you feel smarter and therefore better about yourself... where else can you already know the plotline and predict exactly what is going to happen.. not in life my friends.. that much is clear..

groundhog day

i think i've finally figured it out what being unemployed feels like... its like being Bill Murray in Groundhog Day.. every day, you wake up and keep changing things and hope that the next day you wake up, you changed the right things and someone will hire you. :-)

ps.. entirely unrelated, does noone else see that Jared the Subway guy is gaining weight?? agh, it makes me batty.

burrrr, its cold

its cold out there people... schmeffy has always accused me of being cold at 70 and hot at 73... so its pretty dramatic when he's banning me from going outside:

me: so its cold out there, huh? too cold to go for a walk
schmeffy: absolutely freaking freezing... you cant go outside.
me: really?
schmeffy: yes...its that cold.
me: you'd find me outside frozen? you worried about me?
schmeffy: but at least i'd know where to find you cause you wouldnt make it off the block.

so, i guess i'm taking schmeffy's advice and not going out.... i guess that makes it an ok day to be jobless.. but still the search continues... noone has requested my resume to participate in the blog contest... what do you people want.. i can probably give up a kidney or part of my liver.. i'm thinking i need both lungs though... well, if you can think of a better prize, find me a job and its yours...

keep warm everyone!!

smooches.

i'm not a slacker!!

ok, so i didn't post for a few days... i was busy at a wedding... which was alot of fun and leads me to tell you the story of .... the strangest wedding ever...

once upon a time, one of my favorite people asked me to go to a wedding he was a part of (b)... i, being the wedding machine that i am, agreed instantly... we were all excited about spending the weekend in a lovely b&b and getting to boogey down and have a little fun and free food... that's not exactly what happened...

first, we arrived at the b&b... i was a little leary of the name... the albatross... but hey, beats camping right? well, as i've said every day since then, it will forever be renamed, the albatrocious... now, i've never stayed in a b&b before but i'm pretty sure they're not supposed to remind you of every horror movie you've ever seen and while noone believes me, i swear someone came in our room in the middle of the night...

ok, but back to the wedding... after having to wake b up with some tough love (by that i mean putting "pour some sugar on me" in his head), we make it to the wedding site....

now, the only thing that either of us know about the wedding is that this is an old childhood friend of b's... who asked him to stand up and be a part of the wedding party.... we walk in and we see the groom and his brother... the groom's brother introduces himself to b by adjusting b's tuxedo (started out normal)... it was when he reached for b's pants that i grew a little suspicious.

the next step was meeting the brother of the groom's wife... now, that was really confusing considering he was pretty close to feeling my date up at the moment... it started to become rapidly clear that we were not attending a normal wedding...

we'll flash forward to the end of the ceremony, when the bride and groom began skipping down the aisle to "harmony" by erasure... damn, that groom could skip... after putting on my best poker face (and for those that know me, they know i can't lie too well)... i decided it was drink time and we utilized the cocktail hour knowing we still had a meal to get through...

after hearing the stories of how the groom and his brother spent their spare time as ballroom dancers (does anyone else NOT see what's going on here??) we actually got to witness them perform as a few choregraphed dances took place before the meal... at what point did i forget to mention that a bunch of these people all knew each other because they were "renaissance people"... ok this means that they live this d&d culture where they have a second life pretending they are back in the dark ages and live as serfs and knights and crap...

now, here is the best part.. our table. to my left, sits an italian-looking fellow... who when he begins to speak sounds just like joe pesci in lethal weapon 4.... his date, clearly a mail-order bride from russia can only say 3 words in english.... he was obviously growing frustrated with his date as he spent the majority of the time at the table in my lap... joe pesci guy was also wearing a big metal bracelet which he was happy to tell me was leftover from his armor garb... (he too, was a "reny")... to the left of b, was a very nice lady with her husband who could've easily been someone from WWE... unfortunately, he had a terrible work accident and was limping around.. once they heard b was a lawyer they spent most of the time rattling off questions and trying to get some free counsel... now for the entertaining part... a very large man w/long black hair (think ron jeremy) comes up to join our table... he has an average date with him... here is the conversation that transpires between joe pesci and ron jeremy:

jp: hey, aren't you the crazy clown guy that makes balloon puppets on the boardwalk?
rj: no.
jp: are you sure, you look just like the crazy clown guy that does that... a few miles down the road?
rj: yea, well it is me.
jp: i thought so.
(this is the part where i nail b in the shin with a good hard kick so neither of us say anything stupid)

also at the table is one additional chair and a very angry man who clearly just broke up with his girlfriend... he doesn't say too much to anyone but hits the bar like its his job...

at this point, there is not too much to do, but begin joking about how we are going to get married... this is a little too well received at the table as the nice lady w/the gimp husband tries to flag down the minister to marry us at the table.... i think this is the part when brian and i just decide to stay quiet and endure the rest of the event... after some coffee and some more drinks for me... b and i decide to get some fresh air... we walk out to the bridesmaids waving goodbye to a car... here we go again:

us: was that the bride and groom?
bridesmaids: yes
us: but the wedding isn't over
bridesmaids: yes, but its tradition
us: hmmm.. that's interesting
bridesmaids: well, the bride decided she couldn't deal with the whole wedding thing anymore

after that, we followed the bride's lead and left the wedding wondering which part she could deal with:

1. her clearly homosexual groom?
2. the fact that her brother-in-law and her husband looked like patrick swayze and jennifer grey in dirty dancing?
3. that she managed to have the strangest list of characters ever to appear at a wedding that wasn't carni people?

thankfully, this wasn't the end of our weekend, we headed to b's friends for some much needed drinks and relaxation... and we are forever in their debt of saving us one more night in the albatrocious...

and there it is kids... the strangest wedding ever... now, i'm used to having strange things happen to me... even stranger usually when b is around (stay tuned for the stories of "raven")... but this one definitely takes the cake... enjoy your holiday.

ok, now the opposite

ok, so wasn't the biggest fan of life aquatic... but it was ok. now, yesterday i posted a long list of reasons why you wouldn't want to be me... while funny, i got some concerned people on my hands.. so here's a few reasons why my life ain't that bad:

1. i got some concerned people on my hands... i.e. i got alot of friends that watch out for me which i'm not going to name all here, but i think they all know who they are... (except maybe for schmeffy, who sometimes you have to spell things out for.. so, schmeffy, you do a good job looking out for me, even if i do yell at you to clean up more often)... and while they're mostly crazy and have trouble identifying me, you can add the whole family unit to that list too.

2. i'm cute. that may seem like a vain statement, but i can verify it only because after having a really bad day at my old job a wise woman (schmoelle) said, "it could be worse, gina, you could be ugly." that advice has kept me from taking a bath with my toaster more than once.

3. i spend the majority of my life trying to be a genuinely good person. granted, i'm not going to lie to you, i also spend a lot of my day making fun of people... but that's just for giggles.. i try to balance out my zingers by doing good deeds.

so there you have it... i have concluded that when you got good friends, then that's pretty much all you need... sure, a job or incoming cash, that'll help me pay the bills... but to be honest, my life is pretty satisifying just as it is... well.. ok, maybe a husband or something like that too.... and a dog.. hmm, ok, so i need a few more things, but the point is that i got the bulk of the stuff i need....

stay tuned for tomorrow's post of the strangest wedding ever...

later dudes.

another day, no more dollars

hola everybody... see, i'm trying to update daily.. i have to work fast though.. i'm off to the movies and to do some window shopping (like real shopping except you don't buy anything because you can't spend money when you're unemployed)....

i promise that you will have the details on the strangest wedding ever really soon.. but here are some highlights:

1. the joe pesci sounding guy
2. the groom skipping
3. the insane clown who makes balloon puppets

there's more but i have to make you come back to the site...

updated! top reasons to be glad you're not me

i know i promised 20.. i'm working on it... here are some to get you started:

1. While playing mini golf on my birthday in the fifth grade, I got my club stuck in a water wheel... as I was trying to pull it out, I feel sliced my leg on a giant rock and have a scar that continues to haunt my right leg. It has never gotten any smaller or healed at all.

2. My dating history consists of the following professions: a male nurse, a tree surgeon (or hugger, or general drug addict depending on who's story you believe), a magician, a dj and just recently almost went out with a donut maker... yup, that's right a donut maker...

3. I'm close to 99% positive that the my sole purpose on this planet is so my friends realize their lives aren't so bad. After all, they can always laugh at me.

4. I have been, quite literally, shit on by a bird. Now, you may say this happens to everyone.. but who has been shit on by a bird while travelling in a convertible over a bridge at 60 mph... that my friends, takes talent.

5. On almost every special occassion that i've attended i have either stained, ripped or destroyed my first dress of choice... thus leaving me to always have 2 dresses for every occasion....

6. Back to romance... I also once dated someone (record store guy).. who cried hysterically if i said goodbye instead of see you tomorrow... and someone who was pierced in literally every crevice of his body, some which appeared on the front page of my college paper

7. I've hit a boat, with my car... neither were in water.

8. Just like Molly Ringwald, my family has forgotten my birthday.... they usually forget my name and call me by my dead dog, Rocky.. but I've just grown accustomed to that. In addition, they also dropped my birthday cake and then served it... along with giving me another cake that had the wrong name on it.

9. Further on my family: they have left/lost me not once, but twice in Disney World. The first time they left me with Mickey Mouse.. the second my siblings didn't want to watch me, so they left me in Epcot Center... security found me crying in a corner and to shut me up they bought me a huge stuffed animal.

10. Did I mention, I'm unemployed?

11. Back to family: for Christmas one year, the first three gifts I opened were either for someone else (my dad wrapped up my mom's makeup by mistake) or part of a promotional package that my parents bought the real gift for my sister. I stopped opening gifts on gift #4 which were a pair of duck slippers that quack when i walk.

12. Ah, the famous ex-boyfriend... here are some of my favorite tidbits: 1. a romantic dinner consisted of mac and cheese out of the pot, sharing a fork... 2. the coursage plant i received and handed off to anyone that would let me at my prom (after of course he forgot the tickets had one of his famous angry guy flip outs and we had to drive for an hour to get the tickets, proceeded to chase down our limo and then in perfect gina fashion ripped my pantyhose getting out of the car)... and finally, 3. when he threw a chair clear across the lunch room because i wouldn't accept a dollar from him to buy a taco because i had forgotten my lunch money...

13. i once had a great goldfish named herman... i won him at a carnival... he was trained... everytime i rang a bell he went to the top of his little bowl... i left herman with my grandmother when i went on a family vacation and she fed him cornflakes and he exploded.

14. there are numerous times when i've taken a slightly mind-altared nose dive, but my personal favorite is when i fell on a cab while trying to hail it after a bachelorette party... the morning after i started realizing i was bleeding and that i had sprained my ankle... leaving me to limp down the aisle at my friend's wedding...

15. second runner-up to that story would be doing tequila shots w/schmeffy and waking up with no hang over, then jumping out of bed only to fall to the floor because of a welt that went from my knee to my upper thigh..... this led me to spend the rest of my weekend with frozen peas covering my leg to try to reduce the swelling...

16. to mix my two favorite enemies.. alcohol and family, my parents spent a great deal of my college life seeking out when i was hung over and purposely attacking me. for example, they once made me paint my room after i came in and couldn't even stand... for every roller of paint, there was a trip to the porcelain goddess attached... my parents also are best known for the time they invaded my senior week shore house, leaving after they couldn't wake me up, calling from a pay phone insisting that someone revive me (this was done by a bucket of cold water) and me telling them i was fine it was just that the backyard was all stoned.

17. i have given myself a black eye... by hitting myself on my bed post in college.


There's more.. but I try to block this stuff out so I won't take a bath with my toaster...
I'll keep thinking for your amusement.

how about a blog contest?

ok, so as my application is pending to be the mother of brad pitt's children... i'm thinking i should start some promotions on my site... so here it is.. the first gina blog contest....

its called, get gina a job.. basically, those who are interested, email me and i'll send you my resume.. the first person that gets me a quality lead to get me hired will receive one of the following prizes (their choice):

1. The power to name my first child anything (and i mean anything) they want. Of course, this would also require me finding a husband and getting pregnant.. but sounds like a good prize to me.

2. Dinner on me at the restaurant of their choice (unlimited food and alcohol are a given).

3. If the salary is above and beyond what i'm expecting, a free trip w/me to vegas (again, unlimited alcohol).

So there you have it... work away kids... get me a job and i'll give you a cut of my salary.

time to go prepare for my 4 pm interview.

smooches.... oh and to those that keep wanting more gina blog.. stay tuned for the following headlines....

1. 20 reasons why you should be glad you're not me (including the ever popular game of Gina's life sucks)

2. the strangest wedding ever--the untold story

stupid job, stupid need for cash

as if finding a job wasn't frustrating enough... going to a temp agency after 6 years of being a publicist is way worse... not to mention having parents that are determined to make me work in a casino... maybe they want the discounts??

after 2 hours of typing tests and microsoft office tests i finally get to a starbucks on this cold miserable day and its my family trying to get me to substitute teach... AGH! i'm freezing, ready to cry.. just finally got my grande caffe latte to try to cheer myself up and then this

after that i even tried to jump in front of a few cars to make some cash next time i'm going to carry a squeegee

now i'm watching the karate kid for inspiration ... i knew i should've been a stand-up comic or a pro gambler

obviously, i need an epiphany and considering its is the epiphany day today in the catholic religion, you would think one would come to me...

nothing new on the adventures of schmeffy front, he's not thrilled with me referencing him as a superhero... even though i think he is a good superhero... but i'm not banned from talking about him yet..

i hope you all are having a better day... smooches.

twice in one day

i'm sorry to say that schmeffy has requested that i no longer paste im conversations from him anymore... truly he doesn't understand his significant role in this blog... but that's ok, its more cashola for me when we hit it big... i've tried to tell him that a character like his could be its own comic book... including "the adventures of schmeffy".. i even tried to tell him he'd have a great cape and possibly a mask... he turned down the mask idea (even though batman has a mask), but the cape sounded ok...

so for now, i will need more characters including my other superhero... schmotty aka nut... when i asked schmotty what he'd like as his code name he responded as follows:

me: the blog is updated for your viewing pleasure
schmotty: cool...I was going to im you this morning and ask were the new entry is
me: schmeffy just did
me: you can be schmotty, that's your code name
schmotty: gee, thanks
me: or would you prefer lazor? or hulk?
schmotty: nothing more original
me: do you want a cool code name?
schmotty: like "he who walks with long XXX(edited for children)"? that's my indian name
me: ok, if you'd like that
me: maybe that's nut in indian
schmotty: true

so that's the story folks... maybe we can all comment until schmeffy will allow us to use our im convos again... but if not, i'm sure schmotty will provide us with plenty of entertainment... in the meantime, i'm going to go out to the real world tomorrow and try to find me one of those job thingys you all have to go to.... smooches!

i'm back

my apologies for keeping you all waiting for something on my blog.... i was off spending new year's in vegas, and was too busy concentrating on gambling, drinking and debauchery to access the internet... i had no idea that this site was starting to gain some popularity so as my first new years resolution of 2005 i will try to not be neglectful... obviously schmeffy is very upset (see first convo below) in addition to that i give you my most recent im conversation w/schmeffy (the ever popular sidekick)... i've entitled it humor is in the eye of the beholder:

on no blogs:
schmeffy: gina, why no more blogs...
me: man, i had no idea it would be this popular!
schmeffy: i check it everyday...and nothing...
me: i will go back to blogging
schmeffy: its on my bookmark bar.
me: everyone keeps asking.. where is the blog
schmeffy: you don't know?
me: i know where the blog is
schmeffy: although, i prefer your old headline..
me: are you sure you're not just enjoying being the popular sidekick of my blog
schmeffy: NO!
me: i don't know schmeffy...i beg to differ
schmeffy: errr....
me: uh huh....like i thought.... wait until we're a movie or book
schmeffy: your not funny.

some cheesy humor:
me: There is no such thing as wines that contain no sulfites, or sulfite-free wines.
schmeffy: really?
me: word, from the wine section of the website
schmeffy: interesting...i wonder why people have problems with cheap wine then... must be the amount of sulfites
me: they have a cheese selector section
schmeffy: cool, a cheese wheel, maybe?
me: ehhheeee hee hee hee... cheese wheel
schmeffy: was that a sympathy laugh?
me: no that was funny... a cheese wheel...hee hee
schmeffy: it was kinda a cheesy joke...
me: LOL cheesy joke.... you on a roll
schmeffy: ok, now you are just trying to humor me...or mocking me!!!
me: no i'm not!
me: on a roll...get it... on your wheel

well kids for right now the new headline stays unless you can convince me otherwise.