Seriously

I woke up in a panic today. I quite literally was worried that I caused a horrible cosmic shift in the Universe because I realized just how truly happy I am.

Call it luck, call it being blessed...who knows, but hopefully it's here to stay.

Longer post to come!

Smooches,
G

Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

Happy Birthday Heather!

And, one more thing... my latest new favorite song and lyrics:



I ain’t got no car
And I've got one pair of jeans
They’ve been stretched too far
And now they’re weak at the seams
I can’t say what’s next
And I got nothin' up my sleeve
But I don’t lose my head
Cause it ain’t really up to me

And I’m doing just fine
I’m always landing on my feet
In the nic of time
And by the skin of my teeth
I ain’t gonna stress
Cause the worst ain’t happened yet
Somethings watching over me
Like Sweet Serendipity
Sweet Serendipity

I don’t ask for a lot
No nothing more than I need
Because I love what I got
Don’t need to play the lottery
I just want to be strong
At the end of the road
I don’t want to hold on
I want the strength to let go

And I’m doing just fine
I’m always landing on my feet
In the nic of time
And by the skin of my teeth
I ain’t gonna stress
Cause the worst ain’t happened yet
Somethings watching over me
Like Sweet Serendipity

And what will be will be
In the nic of time
And by the skin of my teeth
I ain’t gonna stress
Cause the worst ain’t happened yet

A New New Years Eve...

Five years ago, I had one of the best trips ever to a brand new place, which instantly became my happy place. The people were friendly, the food and drinks marvelous and the company I was in was the best part of it all. We went into a bar, ready to play our next game of pool and stumbled into a karaoke night that was the equivalent of watching a Broadway audition. The folks on stage busted out this number, which stopped us in our tracks and gave our skin goose bumps. I read the lyrics today and funny... take on a whole different meaning now.

To my Key West traveling crew, I hope you have yet another magical time in one of the best places on Earth. May it be filled with delicious treats from Blue Heaven and new friends and adventures.

And for my NJ posse, I hope you're enjoying the snow! For those of you that I will see this New Years, I'm ready to rock it, well... maybe just roll it because I have a flight to catch.

Smooches,
G

Whoa...

I did it. A normal Griswold family Christmas...nothing caught fire, noone locked themselves out of doors. Heck, I even got everything I asked for except an external hard drive.

Clearly, the world is ending, but I can live with that.

Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!

Smooches,
G

Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

2010: According to G

Last New Years Eve, I eagerly wrote to you all, my dear friends and readers, that I had a feeling that 2010 would be MY year.  In fact, I was determined to do everything better this year. Did I succeed?
 
Well, if you go to the 2nd day of 2010, you'll see that I changed my tune to call 2010 the year of debt and destruction.  I found out I needed a second eye surgery, threw out my back, lost my Metrocard and destroyed iVanka, my second iPod and countless other things.  I stayed strong (well, I tried)...continued to go on miserable dates, worked way too much, stressed way too much and went through a 2 1/2 month recovery from my surgery.  Oh, and let's not forget the great refridgerator incident of August.  But, I learned things along the way.  I honed my mixology and cooking skills during Snowmedggedon, took my annual trip to Vegas - this time with an Elvis wedding (scratch one off the bucket list), learned you need a water line for an icemaker and as always, made my own fun along the way. 
 
One day near the end of August, I woke up and my vision was clear - literally and figuratively.  Then, something big happened.  After 6 years of blogging about my dating adventures, I met a boy.  Not just any boy, the right boy.  And that's about when things went from good to great. 
 
I'm not going to lie.  Of course this whole "being in a relationship" stuff is a lot of work.  You people have years of experience on me and I'm basically trying to rapid age myself to learning the ropes.  For awhile, I doubted whether or not I could actually do this, or if I was destined for the life of a chronically single girl.  And the simple truth is, I could, in fact, be a single girl forever.  But I don't wanna.  I like making someone smile.  I like having someone who likes to make me smile... shows up with flowers, cookies and soup when I'm sick... buys me a mini-sized stuffed dog who he named Slick because he knows Baxter is too big to travel with, but knows I miss Baxter when I travel... oh and by the way, calls Baxter by his name and complies with my desire to name inanimate objects.  Like I said, the right boy.
 
Is he perfect?  Of course not.  Is he perfect for me?  Well, all signs point to yes, which is why I decided to bring him home to mom and dad, who have not met anyone since my prom date.  Now, this is not without comedy.  I mustered the courage to tell my parents at Thanksgiving that I was seeing someone.  I wish I videotaped the reaction - my mother's giddy grin and my father's confused look and response of "he's not The Situation, right?" when I mentioned he was from North Jersey.
 
But from the moment we walked in the door, I could tell that they saw exactly what I see - a truly, genuinely, good and kind hearted person.  I didn't get a word in edgewise in the conversation between him and my dad.  They have some bizarre inside joke going too of "tell your dad I said X", then my dad laughing and saying "tell him I said..."
 
Yes, it is weird.  But, I am without a doubt, amazingly happy.  But, really truly, it isn't solely about the boy.  I just feel like this entire year, I finally let go and that is when everything just began to flow. 
 
Take today - my office closed at 1.  This usually means that I'd work until 2 or 3, go home and sleep.  But, I decided to take the time and enjoy myself without direction.  Next thing you know, I'm off to Virginia to have lunch with him... then I finished up my last Christmas gift and stumbled upon this great outdoor market.  For once, I decided to just go where the wind took me.  And that, my friends, is how I stumbled upon realizing that I had found myself living my life.  Not that I didn't *live* before... but learning this art of balance has taken me my entire life.  To know when to make time appear and disappear... to know when to pause and soak things in.  The smell of the city... purusing a market.  Things I'd never even think of to make time to do.
 
Again, I credit you all for teaching me... letting me really absorb how you all find balance and not live in a crazy world of "have to". 
 
2010 has been an amazing journey for me. It has, in fact, been MY year.  Not by luck, but by me finally making it so.
 
The year isn't quite over yet, but I'm prepared for whatever antics may come.  But for now, I will end with the hope of continuing to say:
 
And she lived happily ever after.
 
My love, warm thoughts and best wishes to all of you this Christmas.  I look forward to continuing this story... especially after the New Year when I jet off to Aruba with my best friend.
 
Smooches to all and to all a good night,
G

When there are no words...

 
Well, more like no time to write the words.  I have a blog post coming, but in the meantime, I thought I'd throw a little nostaglia at you.  And yes, I'm 34 years old and I still do believe there is a Santa Claus.  And this year, especially, has convinced me to keep being the same goofball that never stops believing that every once in awhile, everything falls into place.  More to come...
 
Smooches,
G
 

"DEAR EDITOR: I am 8 years old. "Some of my little friends say there is no Santa Claus. "Papa says, 'If you see it in THE SUN it's so.' "Please tell me the truth; is there a Santa Claus? "VIRGINIA O'HANLON. "115 WEST NINETY-FIFTH STREET." VIRGINIA, your little friends are wrong. They have been affected by the skepticism of a skeptical age. They do not believe except [what] they see. They think that nothing can be which is not comprehensible by their little minds. All minds, Virginia, whether they be men's or children's, are little. In this great universe of ours man is a mere insect, an ant, in his intellect, as compared with the boundless world about him, as measured by the intelligence capable of grasping the whole of truth and knowledge. Yes, VIRGINIA, there is a Santa Claus. He exists as certainly as love and generosity and devotion exist, and you know that they abound and give to your life its highest beauty and joy. Alas! how dreary would be the world if there were no Santa Claus. It would be as dreary as if there were no VIRGINIAS. There would be no childlike faith then, no poetry, no romance to make tolerable this existence. We should have no enjoyment, except in sense and sight. The eternal light with which childhood fills the world would be extinguished. Not believe in Santa Claus! You might as well not believe in fairies! You might get your papa to hire men to watch in all the chimneys on Christmas Eve to catch Santa Claus, but even if they did not see Santa Claus coming down, what would that prove? Nobody sees Santa Claus, but that is no sign that there is no Santa Claus. The most real things in the world are those that neither children nor men can see. Did you ever see fairies dancing on the lawn? Of course not, but that's no proof that they are not there. Nobody can conceive or imagine all the wonders there are unseen and unseeable in the world. You may tear apart the baby's rattle and see what makes the noise inside, but there is a veil covering the unseen world which not the strongest man, nor even the united strength of all the strongest men that ever lived, could tear apart. Only faith, fancy, poetry, love, romance, can push aside that curtain and view and picture the supernal beauty and glory beyond. Is it all real? Ah, VIRGINIA, in all this world there is nothing else real and abiding. No Santa Claus! Thank God! he lives, and he lives forever. A thousand years from now, Virginia, nay, ten times ten thousand years from now, he will continue to make glad the heart of childhood.

It's TREE Day!!!

Yayyyyyy! Its my favorite holiday tradition. In just a few short hours, my beloved B, his pal Ron and I will be heading out to get the G staple, my annual Griswold family Christmas tree.

Last year, I think I mentioned that I may have had some Christmas spirit influence on some of my favorite folks. Well, this year, I'm proud to report I'm certain that I have.

How do I know? For starters, B told the plan for where the tree would be in my home this year in AUGUST, which requires rearranging the entire room.

His reason for moving it, was so it could be even BIGGER.

And, if that wasn't enough, when I asked him when we were moving the furniture, he responded:

"Not before we get tree. TREE. Big TREE."

All this from a guy who tried to convince me that table top trees were the only trees that I should have.

Well, I think my work here is done. Another person transformed by medicinal and magical holiday spirit.

Life is pretty good, kids. I have some other fun news that I'm sitting on, but will reveal soon enough.

Smooches,
G

Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

Dysfunction is the New Normal

I didn't tweet this Thanksgiving but it was recorded by my neighbors who said "I think you could possibly get a recording/movie/reality TV show contract if Fox or CBS saw these clips!"

Yea, we're still the same fun lovin' dysfunctional family. Nothing caught on fire this year, thankfully. I think we may have finally embraced our dysfunction. I mean it only took 34 years.

I had a great time this past week. Saw friends and family, partied like a rockstar (hey, I never said I was completely retired - sometimes those dancing shoes have to come out), played dress up with my niece and got to spend some quality time with my posse.

I got to be thankful for everything I have - and its a lot. And now its back to the grind as I'm in California for the next 24 hours.

But the countdown begins to my favorite party of the year...

Can't wait to be back to retox in Jersey in just a few weeks.

Smooches,
G

Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

I'm No Hero, But Sometimes I Work for Them...

Let's face it, I complain about work all the damn time. For almost 12 years now I've worked in healthcare public relations, and for most of you, that means nearily nothing. I'm not offended, we rarely know what are friends and family really do for a living. I know that Schmotty does stuff to computers, Missy does stuff with the law, and so on. And I'm not even going to even attempt to understand the hardest role most of you play as parents.

Most of you only know the work I've done with Dr Atkins...a few of you saw me in the background on tv. And so on... And for as much as I complain you probably wonder 1) why its so damn stressful and 2) why I keep doing it.

When Dr. A died, we held a memorial. It was a largely orchestrated event, and I was stunned to see that the people who knew him the least were the ones that were most touched.

Was he merely a doctor that tried to get you to give up bread? Well, that's one interpretation of the story. However, when you read the news today and people talk about limiting your sugar intake, well...he played a mighty big role in changing that. He warned me numerous times about what would happen to us with obesity and diabetes. Sadly, its all come true.

When he died and I finally decided to leave the company, I left with one big goal. I needed to work for something or someone that had the same passion he did. I saw it, I may not have fully understood it. But I knew for me to do what I do, I needed to believe and be inspired with someone who had passion.

So, I searched. I turned down some incredible opportunities to work on things I love...WaWa, Ikea, casinos...you name it.

And then through a series of fortunte events, I was introduced to a mental health nonprofit. And I was struck for a mulititude of reasons, that I must have this job.

I pursued it like nothing I've ever done before. And when I met the woman who was one of the founders, I knew why. Because she had the same spark that he did. She had the passion and was able to bring it out in others.

Sadly, she passed about a year ago and today she was honored at the National Institute for Mental Health. A place that barely existed until the 80s, when people like her stood up and had the courage to admit they had a problem and needed help.

Unlike the work I do in obesity, you can't see mental health issues. You may not know what it is like to be trapped in your own mind, unable to get out. I've witnessed it too often in my lifetime, hell, to an extent I lived it and continue to do so.  Seeing and living mental health issues brings upon a mixture of emotions that range from frustration to sheer terror.  Some people are afraid to even say they have a problem, some people don't even believe it.  It's a complex situation than can result in very unfortunate issues - isolation, eating disorders and sadly, suicide. 

I know people go to work every day, and its just a job. People tell me what I do is "just a job". And there are aspects in which that is completely correct.  But, at the end of the day, I am me... and what I've come to learn about me is that for better or worse, I have been exposed to and have a great deal of passion in my own right.  It just so happens, is that my passion is for people.  And one part of my "job" is to make people with something real and important to say, get heard.  Fortunately, you know, that me being a loud Italian, helps me get that job done.
 
I would never be so ignorant to say that my role in getting folks heard is any bigger than just that, one small part in a big play.  But those small roles, have led me to enormous opportunities to be a part of passion and greatness.  I've had the opportunity to hear thanks from folks, whether it was a diet or a medical treatment that "saved their lives".  I don't take credit for that, but I'm glad that I can be a part.  It makes me feel pretty damn good in fact to know that work that I've done has translated far and wide.  Somewhere, there is someone that is taking a first step towards better health because I helped spread the word.
 
I also would never be so ignorant as to not thank all of you, who play similar roles every day and rarely get thanked for them.  You may see my work in a paper or on TV, but I get to see you work in the children you raise and ok, I will be so selfish as to say, the smile you bring to my face.  I know you think I'm crazy when I tell you that you're all my heroes.  You all are each so special in very different and unique ways.  And, with my passion being people, I get to see that in each of you.  I see the amazing value that all of you bring to the people in your lives. I may now be blessed with beyond perfect vision, but that is one thing I've always been able to see clearly.  It's one of the few skills that I'll admit to with great pride. 
 
If you're still reading, I'm on a roll, so I'm going to try to explain that with a quote from As Good As It Gets:
 
"I might be the only person on the face of the earth that knows you're the greatest woman on earth. I might be the only one who appreciates how amazing you are in every single thing that you do, and how you are with Spencer, "Spence," and in every single thought that you have, and how you say what you mean, and how you almost always mean something that's all about being straight and good. I think most people miss that about you, and I watch them, wondering how they can watch you bring their food, and clear their tables and never get that they just met the greatest woman alive. And the fact that I get it makes me feel good, about me."
 
I can't think of a better thing to give thanks for this Thanksgiving than that.
 
My continued love to you all.  I look forward to seeing some of you soon. 
 
Smooches,
G 
 
 

Cat is Out of the Bag...

You may want to call to get me a psychiatric evaluation. Apparently, someone has stolen the real me, and replaced me with someone who needs to be domesticated. Last night, I left a happy hour at 9:30 after only three beers. Tonight, I decided to bake... chocolate chip cookies by request. Pictures of the cookies are included to prove it. I decided I would also try my hand at banana bread which is currently baking away in my oven that is probably saying "WTF - the girl has used me more in one night than in the five years she's lived here."

I finally used my cute pink mixing bowls and guess what?! I have appliances that don't make drinks!! I used a hand mixer and bought a cookie sheet. Hell, I even used those reusable grocery store bags when I went to the (yes, holy crow) supermarket.

I had to balance out all this domestication, so I went to my liquor store to buy some Kahlua. Only, my guy wasn't working, so no one even greeted me with "Hey Gina".

Wow, a lot has changed. Your girl appears to be growing up. And the weird thing is, it doesn't even seem all that weird. I actually feel exactly where I want to and should be.

Don't worry, I won't ignore the guys with the pretty white coat that zips in the back if you decide to call them. I'm sure the goofy smile will probably have me committed. :-)

Smooches,
G

Here Comes the Love Train

When I was on my way to Alcatraz, a photographer snapped Nicole and my picture. He said, "You can see your smile from outer space."

That's about right for me today. Its that time of year, kids. The time where I feel this overwhelming sense of gratitude that despite how much the Universe continues to screw with me...its all ok.

I have many, many things that make my smile seen from afar, for starters, I have you all.

And a lot more... Today is a very, very good day.

Can't wait to see some of you for Thanksgiving. Just wear sunglasses so I don't beam too close.

Smooches,
G
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

When in doubt...

I defer to 3 very important things I've either been told or have learned, when I'm having a bad day:

1) "Life is never as bad as it seems"
2) "tomorrow is another day"
3) "it could be worse, you could be ugly"

And the rest I take out on the elliptical machine.

Have a good day, all!

Smooches,
G

My Horoscope is Smarter Than Me.

See? All that time gave you a chance to do some thinking, and you've arrived at a decision with regard to a certain someone who's been feeling more and more like a weight around your neck. You're all done playing this game and there's no talking you out of it. Now, however, you've got to tell them about it, but you may not want to do it tonight because it will be a highly volatile situation. Just wait a day or two -- if you can.

Forget Marvel, Everyone I Know is a Superhero...

I'm home after yet another long day and watching Snooki cry because her best friend just left the house. Which makes me miss all my best girls (and boys), especially after a rough few weeks of travelling and working.

But, I need to leave my party o' pity because there is something much more important to which to devote my energy. And that's to put all my good vibes towards the efforts of two pretty darn awesome girls - Danielle and Bridget - who are spending the next 3 days walking 60 miles for the Breast Cancer walk.

A lot of people do this walk - and thankfully, a lot of money is raised. But, these are the two stories I know. These girls have worked tirelessly over the past few months, and I'm more than sure they faced enormous challenges along the way. From the physical strain and pain of training to the ongoing fundraising for the team. Not to mention they had to have the superpower of making time appear despite already overwhelming schedules - from being a mom to being a busy student. Time is something none of us have enough of... yet, it didn't deter them. Why? Because they're doing this to honor not only their grandmother, who I had the privlege of knowing, but for all of us who know someone that has been or (god forbid) may be afflicted with this disease.

It doesn't surprise me in the least that the goals were exceeded. It's just how they roll. Yet, another example of my world of superheroes... how can I pity party myself for a rough week when I'm surrounded by people who are so amazing and courageous? Sorta puts all the small stuff into perspective, if you know what I mean...

I thank those of you who donated to their team. And I hope we can all send a few good vibes and rays of sunshine their way this weekend.

I'm cheering from afar... but I swear my heart is right with you both.

Smooches,
G

New News, Old News... all things Smiley.

Let's start with the new news: I went to the eye doctor this morning and I'm seeing 20/15 - which is BEYOND perfect vision for those of you who don't spend your lives at the opthomalogist. My doc even let out a "whoa" when he got me down to the tiniest letters. Some minor hazing and dry eye remain, but, this is just one amazing dream come true (after about a year of struggling, but hey, all good things, right?)

Old news: You've probably already seen this video, but you know my love for dogs - and this was all done with rescue dogs. OK Go is donating proceeds from the sales of the song and video to ASPCA... so re-watch the video, make a donation and have a smile:




Lots of good things going on in the world right now. And once I land at DCA on Saturday at 9 pm, life will be a bit more smooth sailing.

Smooches all!
-G

Happy Birthday Schmeffy!

Wishing the best birthday ever to the man, the myth, the legend.

He has officially endured knowing me for half has life and spent almost 1/5 of his time on earth having to live with me.

Schmeffster, its being great to spend the majority of that time laughing both at and with you.

Sadly, we don't get to spend nearly enough time together anymore, but, its always quality when we do.

You're the best...

Loves!
-G

Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

Panicked? Who Me?

I read my blog more than you do. It's true - every once in awhile, I like to travel back in time and see where my head is at in relation to where it is now. Today, I was reading early 2008 when I decided to quit drinking for 45 days. Man, that was funny. But you know me... I find the lessons in everything right?

Well, I'm sorry I haven't blogged in awhile... and I've actually tried to think through what fun facts I should reveal about life at this moment. You all know way to well that work is always nutty for me. I've been working on making that less of the case. I've had and still have a few rough weeks ahead of me, but then I plan on taking some time off. And without entirely losing focus, I'm also trying to mentally check out as often as I can. It's difficult, but I'm now at the point that it is actually necessary for my health.

I've read too many posts in my blog about work stressing me out. And sadly, it reached a new level recently. Earlier this week, I was diagnosed with panic disorder. Don't get too alarmed friends. I've always been extremely proactive and preventative when it comes to my mental health, so I am completely ok and only on an "as needed" prescription along with regular exercise to reduce my stress and some other skills that I've learned along the way.

I'm sure some of you are wondering why I'm choosing to go public with that. And the answer is for many reasons:

1) Because I don't think anyone should be ashamed of having any mental illness. Personally and professionally, I've worked to fight stigma against mental health problems. I've never been much of a judger, and I don't think anyone should just someone for a condition they can't control.

2) Because it serves an important reminder. I need balance, real balance. Not the kind that involves running away and forgetting it all... nor the kind that involves drinking away and forgetting it all (for the record though: both are really fun). I have a tendency to do both and I'm working to stop that.

3) Because you all are supportive and I know you're always concerned about me. I started putting the signs together when I realized just how concerned my parents were about me. It moved beyond the normal "don't work too hard" to "really, please stop and think about what you're doing". Also, when I realized that I was having trouble breathing and real pains in my chest. Neither so good.

And hey, while this may be no laughing matter, I do still have my sense of humor in tact. I don't want you all to worry that officially I'm a lil' nutty, because you've known that for years. Now, I have the wonderful world of Xanax to temper that.

I've always said that everyone is crazy, some are just better at hiding it than others. Well, looks like my freak flag just got raised a lil' higher.

And I am the eternal optimist and the most stubborn person you know. So, of course, I'm flipping this situation and I'm going to make some serious lemonade (and you know, mine always comes spiked). The medical establishment just handed me an edict to take it easy. So, I will... in the most mature, balanced way I can.

(oh yea, I'm giggling at that thought too)

As for what else is up right now, things are actually quite on point while I work to get myself in check. I'm pretty dang happy in fact. Just muscling through the next two weeks at work and all will be well.

I miss the heck out of you guys though, which I always do, even though I spent every other weekend this summer up there. Mr. M Mixologist came to visit while en route to see his family, so it was nice to have a visit from him. I'll be up next week for what I hope to be my last eye doc visit, which btw, the sight is still awesome... so much so that it's hard to remember what it was like to not see.

Anyway, my friends, I am off to meet with the Next Day Blinds people because I am still working on my next goal of home renovations... and have a contractor who will be rigging my big girl icemaker, the closets that shamefully broke in January and the toilet that broke in February.

Sometimes it takes me longer to get there... but I'm getting there!! And I've saved the best for last - big screen TV in November. This has to happen b/c B is planning for the world's biggest indoor Christmas tree this year (I've even seen a tape measure). How can I not be happy about that?! If I've accomplished one thing in life, it's clearly getting someone hooked on Tree day!


Love y'all.

Smooches,
G

Let It Ride

That was the advice from my Advisor de Futura....I bet he's right.

Sorry for the lack of blogs my peeps. Its been a whirlwind. But I'm smiling. :-)

Smooches,
G

Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

LOTD

Laugh of the day: my liquor store only refers to Brian as "Gina's Friend". Yup. They know and love me that well.

Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

Help a Sister Out

Hi all -
 
Part of my joy in life is seeing you all get everything you want... Cheezy, I know... but it's true.  That said, I need some help in making sure one of my best girls hits her mark for her upcoming 60-mile trek to honor her grandmother.  Dee has been courageous enough to enter the Susan G. Komen Breast Cancer 3 Day Walk.  Something that I was hoping to join her in, but unfortunately I let work get in the way.
 
That said, I want to not only make sure that she makes the donation dollars necessary, but that she blows it out of the park.  So, for those of you in the Mt. L or nearby, join her tonight at On the Border, and help my girl through one of my favorite pasttimes of imbibing margaritas - 10% of your food and drink is donated to her team.  If you can't, then please go to www.the3day.org and donate to Team Pride and Joy.
 
Thanks everyone.  I'm a big ol' mess of goo today, which I hope means this thing is breaking up finally.  Boy, do I need a vacation.
 
Smooches,
G
 
 
 

Immunity is no Friend of Mine

Nothing says "let's do this again" like turning to your date and saying "I'm about to be sick". No, this isn't one of G's famous drunken tales. Sadly, I'm home sick with an upper respiratory virus which conveniently started on our way home from the movies. All of a sudden I thought I was going to pass out...to the point where I asked my poor date to feel my head. Apparently I was burning up... and those of you who know me, know I never run hot.

Thankfully, the good doctor is an understanding dude...and he even called to make sure I was ok when he got home. And, he continues to check in every few hours.

Now, I just need to get over this gross illness so I can have date 3, which hopefully doesn't involve swine flu.

Hey - it could be worse.

Smooches,
G

Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

Future's So Bright

Well my vision is anyway. Its pretty darn incredible how crisp and clear things are getting. Right eye alone is still fuzzy, but I'll take it!

Date 2 tonight with the psych doc. Will make some good Freudian slips!

Smooches,
G

Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

Can't Get This Out of My Head!

Love, exciting and new
Come Aboard. We're expecting you.
Love, life's sweetest reward.
Let it flow, it floats back to you.

Love Boat soon will be making another run
The Love Boat promises something for everyone
Set a course for adventure,
Your mind on a new romance.

Love won't hurt anymore
It's an open smile on a friendly shore.
Yes LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE! It's LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE! (hey-ah!)

Love Boat soon will be making another run
The Love Boat promises something for everyone
Set a course for adventure,
Your mind on a new romance.

Love won't hurt anymore
It's an open smile on a friendly shore.
It's LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE! It's LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE! It's
LOOOOOOOOOOOVE!
It's the Love Boat-ah! It's the Love Boat-ah!

Yes, I Like Pina Coladas

I need a break. A real one. Like of the putting this place up for sale and never looking back variety.

I certainly don't want to be the G who cried wolf, since I know you kids heard this before... But I think it may be time.

Career suggestions appreciated.

Smooches
G

Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

Yay!

Eye doc said I've made great improvements over the last 2 weeks. Yay! Thanks for all the ongoing good vibes and well wishes. They've made all the difference.

Smooches!
G
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

They Always Come Back

"In this world nothing is certain but death and taxes." - Benjamin Franklin

Well, Ben, in the world of G, the only thing that is certain is that at some point they all come back.

They would be all of the ghosts of boyfriends past...the skeletons in my closet. Its usually when I emit some vibe in the universe that life is ok or on its way to being so.

Take this weekend - I was feeling great after spending both days on the water. Started with my sister and her boyfriend picking me up on Friday. Then tubing Saturday, chilled at their place with her dog, drinks and such on the porch. Heck, I even got an unexpected message from the doctor I went out with on thurs.

I spent today kayaking with my dad and sister. It was pouring rain, but we took this cool passage way and saw all of this neat stuff.

Finally, was clearing my mind to really start to think through some stuff and Boom (or in this case, Boo) out comes another ghost.

I'm not going to go into who it was...suffice it to say its someone that has caused me many problems and much pain. Just annoying to try to not feel derailed. I swear these guys have sensors and just know when things are looking up.

At any rate, I think I found a quote that makes more sense:

"Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former." - Albert Einstein

Trying to remain on the positive, forward track.

Smooches
G
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

Best Office Emails Ever

I got some classic emails this week...
 
---
Health and Well Being
 
Subject: Storage Room Beeping
 
Hi all,
 
The beeping in the storage room is because the defibrillator battery is dying.  I've ordered a new one and it should be here in the next few days.  In the meantime, please no one go into cardiac arrest.
 
Thanks!
---
 
Strategic Direction
 

I informed the client this morning that the folks will be presenting the report at the conference.  She was very excited and hoped you might send her a quick note regarding the upcoming prostitution and any other publication or presentation plans.  She'd like to circulate that information around.

 

Thanks!

 

----

 

hmmm... I'd like to circulate information about prostitution too... priceless.

 

Smooches,

G

 

The Doctor is in....

I gave up my brill idea of going to Home Depot and dating employees so I can get my place fixed to go out with a doctor last night. Doc of psych no less, so I was certain that I'd be endlessly entertaining.

Guess I was right...will tell more after date 2 next friday...

I really need a matrix to keep track.

Smooches from cereal dater,
G
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

I Can See Clearly Now...

And not because the rain is gone! Eyes are making serious positive strides. Its pretty fantastic. As most of you know, this has been a dream of mine for a very, very long time - and I took the risk.

And, I just want to say a huge THANK YOU to everyone that was there for me during the past few months. I know I was pretty grumpy and miserable at times. But from my girls taking me to a movie w/my Lady GaGa sunglasses on through some other folks who have since parted ways, really really appreciative for everyone's help in keeping my spirits up.

I always say it takes a village to take care of me. :-)

Fingers crossed all goes well at Monday's eye doc appointment.

Smooches,
G
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

The ADB Awards

I'm starting the Anti D-Bag awards. If you feel you're a man that isn't a d-bag, feel free to contact me for details as to how you can win one of these prestigious awards.
 
(this initiative is being paid for by the gina mangiaracina foundation: dedicated to the promotion and preservation of gina's happiness...and for children who can't read good and wanna learn to do other stuff good too)

Farrrrrrrrghhhhh

no fridge guys, noone told me I needed an f'in water line for the icemaker. wtf... do I look like I would know that!?

So much for bountiful amounts of ice...

Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

Home Renovations

After the last few days, I've decided I'm going to invent a rent-a-hubby service.

As if getting a fridge wasn't enough, I had to hang a whole bunch of pictures that were a birthday gift. Also made an appointment with Next Day Blinds for window treatments. Then I finally fixed the kitchen cabinet that has been broken since June. Oh yea, a screwdriver, hammer AND nails!

I met my match with the closet doors - didn't even try them. And I finally sucked it up and called my brother for TV support. I have a vision, but not sure if it's possible.

But when all is said and done, the 2010 improvements will be new:

-Fridge
-Window treatments
-Flat screen HDTV
-Closet doors
-Pictures

Potentially, a new piece of furniture too.

Look out Grace Adler, I'm interior decorating the heck outta Casa de G.

This is exhausting!

Smooches,
G
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

I Did It Myself

I made my first solo grown up purchase and come Tuesday, I'll be the proud owner of a new fridge. I think I'm going to name her Frida. She even makes her own ice.

Thanks to everyone for the advice.

Spending a much needed night in after a crazy, crazy night and morning out making friends.

Smooches,
G
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

Sociology 101

After a very sweet but lame date, I wasn't ready to head home. So, I did something I never thought I'd do. I hung at a bar alone. Not in a bar fly way....but during my date we were chatting with some interesting people. And for once, I just wanted to roll with wherever the night took me. This turned out to be several lessons in psychology and sociology. It was quite fascinating to sit and listen to people.

Take, this one very pretty girl. Here's someone that by any standards is a gorgeous girl who is just riddled with issues - depression, anorexia - you name it. Shouldn't beautiful people just get to be beautiful? Apparently not.

It wasn't all sadness though, it was actually a lot of fun. And I'm feeling more and more confident that I really could make a career out of helping people with their problems.

Interesting times....

Smooches,
G

Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

Yes, so...

I'm everywhere I shouldn't be right now. But I'm having a great time!
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

Don't Stop Believing

Keep sending me your good vibes, my peeps. I think they may be working. If not, I'm starting a Save G Foundation - with a marathon (ok drinkathon). :-)

Miss you Jerseyians.

Smooches,
G

Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

Why I Smell Like Rotting Flesh

Picture this: after starting with a 7:30 am doc appointment in Jersey, I finally get home at 8 pm eager for a Manhattan, some Thai and my B.

I walk in the door and know something is wrong. Because it smells like something died. A big something.

Like a werewolf from Eclipse, I use my expert nose to track the smell to the kitchen...did I forget the trash? Did I leave the fridge door open?

I open up the freezer and like a bad horror movie out oozes brown goop. Hit by a smell so dreadful and heat I recoiled.

Oh yes, my fridge done died and took all the food with it. I know what you're thinking - its G, what was in there some ketchup? No friends, fully stocked....we're talking 5 lbs of ground beef, countless chicken, full bag of shrimp....it goes on.

Then I realize that it isn't just the freezer. And then I realize fridge also killed a case and a half of Corona and a bottle of champagne.

I try my best to say this happens to everyone because I know it does.

B comes over and as always tries to cheer me up. Which was working til we went to leave and I can't find my keys....

Pitchers of sangria later, I return. Always the hero, B finds the keys under the trash can.

And that's the greener side of the grass today.

I'm one step closer to quitting everything and moving to the beach.

Smooch
G
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

Tears of a Clown

My eye doc put plugs in my eyes, gave me glasses, medicines and a plethora of other fun things.

I have high pressure in my eyes and my tears aren't quality. So this is to make higher, more quality tears...I have temp collagen plugs, then I have to
go back in 2 wks, if it works, I upgrade to silicone (which I always planned to have plugged in other parts of my body)

‎​The bright side is that since I can see everything clearly when I put tear drops in, that my vision should be the same once the moisture situation is resolved.

So there you have it...me, my blurry eyes and crocodile tears are on the Acela back to DC.

Eternally frustrated -
G

Happy Birthday Lucky!

Its Lucky the Wonderdog's 8th birthday today. In addition to being a wonderdog, she's also quite wonderful. And lucky.

She started off her day with a grooming from me. Then Dad dropped sausage patties on the floor (score). And then during our morning trot, people at the tennis court gave her a ball to celebrate her birthday.

But the best part? None of this mattered to her. She's simply happy just to be here. Everything else, well that's just icing...from a simple pat on the head to a free ball.

Its a pretty good life lesson. Appreciate just being here and everything else is a welcome gift.

Yes, folks, I'm outsmarted once again. This time by a dog.

She's cute though, so I'll accept it.

Smooches
G

Stage 5 Clingers

Dating just gets more entertaining every day. Two new trends: God lovers (which you saw) and Stage 5 Clingers.

This started a couple months ago with the absent-minded lawyer, we'll call him Al. Someone who seemed rather fun on the phone, so we were supposed to meet for drinks. Always the time efficient gal, I scheduled the date near a happy hour that my friend was having. Al was late. Al finally calls because he lost his ID. But fear not, he has his birth certificate. My HH crowd had mixed votes whether or not I should go out with him after that, leaving me to be the tie breaker. Foolishly, I went - and after sweet talking a bouncer, got us in the door. I spent the whole night carrying a Priority Mail envelope that contained his birth certificate. I felt bad - he was nice. Well, and a bit clingy... And proceeded to call or text several million times...and he was a bit too open about an obsession with smoking cigarettes during unusual activities. Need I go on?

Next there are two interesting hermits, who refuse to leave their house and can't understand why I won't go to a strangers house... One wanted me to go to his house w/o ever meeting me, so I could meet him and his kids. Oh - and spend the night. Um, you've never even met me.

Moths to a flame, I attract'em folks.

Its too amusing.

Smooches
G

Poisoned

I was poisoned last night... really. I contracted some form of food poisoning during my dinner meeting last night. Home sick today. UGH. Come on karma, throw me a bone!

people pay

Good money for drugs that make them see double. Unfortunately, I didn't cough up $5,000 for my eyes to see double. Oy vey - will it ever end?!

Frustrated...

Bright side is seeing some of my posse this weekend. I miss you guys.

Smooches
G

The Cat is...

"Out of the bag," says Ms. Kittens as she let's out a big meowwwwww.

And the grass is very, very green right now.

Have a very cryptic day.

Smooches,
G

This Just In...

I am "a role model for how life can still be fun". That's from one of my twenty-something co-workers after me telling her about my current dating situation.

Tonight's gonna be a good good night...

DC Single Ladies

Have great senses of humor... too bad I'm pretty sure I've dated this entire book... by the way, I was thinking the other day about Flounder. Anyone remember that guy that sold the ice and took me to the Eagles game? I wonder what he's up to...


Guide_3_ -

Modern Love

Some of you who tell me 'the grass is always greener' when I talk about being single and dating. Well, today, I'm going to show you my grass and why its so hard to ferret through the weeds to find an even remotely decent date.

I give you Exhibit A below. An email written by someone I've never had any communication with. In addition to this email, his dating profile says he loves Allah and is 'looking for good woman'.

After reading this, I'm sure you can see why I sometimes may make bad choices, but at least I can spot ones like these as crazies.

Enjoy,
G


"I am so happy to send you this message ....Are you truly honest with that profile of yours because i believe in the Chemistry idea, you are my first match..and i just feel it would be better we have to know each other more better.Cos i believe in this Chemistry thing and the lord saying....And Adam said, This [is] now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called man, because he was taken out of Woman........ Only honesty is what i require from you.. I'd like to find someone who's open, honest and easy going...Your looks aren't what i mean but your innermost person.I have some questions for you.....
1. Have you ever feel loved before with anyone and can you tell me what love means...lol funny right?
2. Do you really want to get settled down and how soon...?
Sherlock Holmes was an idiot and Robert Watt was a fool. One was a detective, the other invented radar. But neither of them ever discovered you. I'm a genius!
Well I am 6"7 average and normal man that every reasonable woman want to have as a partner. NB: reasonable woman.I don't have any because my life is trusting on God (not that spiritual).
My goal is a monogamous relationship leading to a lifelong companionship... a joining at the heart to let us share all life has to offer. So, if this sounds good to you drop me a line
Hoping to hear from you........if you are really interested...cos i hate being taken advantage of....C.ya here is my email...X@yahoo.com@yahoo.com.Hope to chat soon. Take care."

To All the Men I've Loved Before...

I LOVE research... how fun and TRUE. This goes out to all you boys...

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Narcissistic heterosexual men target their hostility primarily at heterosexual women

Heterosexual women bear the brunt of narcissistic heterosexual men’s hostility, while heterosexual men, gay men and lesbian women provoke a softer reaction, according to psychologist Dr. Scott Keiller from Kent State University at Tuscarawas in the US. This is likely to be due to women’s unparalleled potential for gratifying, or frustrating, men’s narcissism. They are crucial players and even gatekeepers in men’s quests for sexual pleasure, patriarchal power and status. Dr. Keiller’s findings are published online in Springer’s journal Sex Roles.

Research to date has shown that narcissists’ low empathy, feelings of entitlement, and perceptions of being deprived of ‘deserved’ admiration and gratification can make them prone to aggression and vengeance.

Dr. Keiller’s study looks at whether narcissists’ hostility is targeted at heterosexual women and men, gay men and lesbian women in the same way and with the same intensity. Each group represents a different combination of perceived conformity to traditional gender roles on the one hand, and potential for gratifying a heterosexual man on the other.

A total of 104 male undergraduates, aged 21 years on average, from a large university in the Midwest US took part in the study survey. Keiller looked at measures of narcissism, sexist attitudes toward women and traditional female stereotypes, sexist attitudes toward men and heterosexual male stereotypes, and attitudes toward gay men and lesbian women.

What Drink Are You?

Ok, I couldn't pass up the quiz about what cocktail I was...turns out I'm a Long Island Iced Tea:

While initially you might not seem strong, those who mistakenly make such a judgment about you certainly regret it later on. This deceptively hidden power marks a trait found in the best leaders, and this is no coincidence: you were destined only for great things.

I hope this is accurate - certainly is my pool playing style. :)

Thanks Gretchen for distracting my work day. :-)

Smooches,
G

Faith

Brian says I need to channel my inner George Michael and have faith that my eyes will heal. But, its pretty hard. Last Thursday they got really clear, then went back to blurry. So- asking my dear readers and friends to send some good vibes for mi ojos.

Smooches
G

When You Wake Up...

After your birthday and it sounds and feels like New Year's Day, life is pretty good. Special thanks to my parents, my brain trust (Sue, Daniela and Paul), my travel buddy Nicole for a drunken festival...

And extra thanks to Dee for her guest appearance.

Happy New Year to me!

Smooches
G

The Ghost In You

4am and curled up with my furry bff, Lucky. I'm the first to admit being boy-tarded, but I have to say I've grown much smarter recently.

Some of you think or at least thought otherwise. Which is why yesterday, after a group consensus that I was wrong, I decided to reliquinsh my love life to my sister.

This seemed like a two-fold perfect choice bc it solved my not wanting to make any decisions on my bday and my feeling of general inepititude at heart matters.

My sister went to town...and ultimately, we can all safely conclude that I was right and some people are just broken.

Life lesson kids: when something feels too good to be true, it probably is. Oh, and for the most part, men are big f'tards (this mainly applies to single. straight men)

Yesterday, all tolled, was a pretty good day. And I'm hoping that once the headache subsides, tomorrow will be even better.

Smooches
G

My Birthday is the Shit!

Ha - literally. My fever and sore throat has now downgraded to stomach bug.

Now, I made a promise this year that I wouldn't piss and moan today...so, I will just accept whatever happens and drink through the pain.

Oh, and bright side: I've reached the age where casinos send me birthday wishes.

I have arrived.

Will be logging festivities on either FB or Twitter. You know the drill - Twitter is cheetah_kittens.

And thanks to everyone for the birthday wishes.

Smooches
G

Why Can't I Be Demi?

I have to save what I wrote because it's on my computer. But to nutshell it, I've managed to expand my dating age range which now includes men who could mathetmatically be the fathers of potential suitors. Surprisingly, the younger the man, the sweeter he is. (oh yes, there is a joke in there somewhere)...

Or as Wooderson would *almost* say... "That's what I love about these college boys, man. I get older, they stay the same age."

Ok, for those of you old schoolers... I know you're travelling way back to when I was just out of high school and dated that poor soul who was an A+ student and after spending the summer with US (not just me, all y'all were partying with me), managed to become nothing more than a pizza delivery boy (still hoping he's out there somewhere with his act together).

But, I object. Demi Moore successfully married Ashton. I see no reason why I can't date a 21 year old boy who is nice... and doesn't disappear... and seems pretty straight edge.

Just because he's still in college? pshaw...

Surprisingly, the jury is quite mixed on this one. But I guess we'll all have to see what happens... when he finally gets back in town to start the semster.

(Ok, even I can't say that without giggling.)

Beats the revisiting "ghost of boyfriends past" who constantly try to make a comeback.

Here's to another year of never dull moments in the Life of G.

Smooches,
G

Mr. Blue Sky

I'm in the middle of writing a rather funny account of my current boy situation, but Nyquil is currently taking over my brain, so it will be delayed. In the meantime, I give you fun lyrics:

Sun is shinin' in the sky,
There ain't a cloud in sight
It's stopped rainin'
Everybody's in a play
And don't you know
It's a beautiful new day.

Runnin' down the avenue,(Pant, Pant, Pant)
See how the sun shines brightly
In the city on the streets
Where once was pity,
Mr. Blue Sky is living here today.

Mr. Blue Sky, please tell us why,
You had to hide away
For so long where did we go wrong.

Hey there Mr. Blue
We're so pleased to be with you
Look around see what you do,
Everybody smiles at you.

Hey you with the pretty face,
Welcome to the human race
A celebration Mr. Blue Sky's
Up there waitin' and today
Is the day we've waited for

Mr. Blue you did it right,
But soon comes Mr. Night,
Creepin' over, now his
Hand is on your shoulder,
Never mind I'll remember you this way.

Today is Tomorrow

Ok, Universe...its on. After wallowing in my woe is me for a good 24 hours, I'm feeling a bit better. Of course it helps that I got a ton of emails from those of you that are afar. And, special props to BV Lee for helping to remove my head from my ass so I can see the forest through the trees. And make laugh until I can't breathe.

Here's hoping to a good day. And much love to all of you!

Smooches,
G

I Love You

My goodness, its like a rapid response team hit me with good vibes and love. Thank you to everyone who leapt into action to send love. I love you too.

It's so awesome having the world's greatest friends. It goes along way to make up for having the world's shittiest luck when it comes to everything else.

The Flip Side

Is that I miss my friends...and there are pluses and minuses to knowing that I could travel the globe and never find what I got...

I'm fine, kids. I swear. Just a momentary blip in the GBASness...

Love you

You're So Vain, I Betcha Ya Think This Blog is About You

There's a saying in Washington that if you want a friend here, buy a dog. Some folks take that saying a step further and say buy two for when the first one turns on you.

Sometimes I just don't get it. As an honest gal who has some amazing friends, I just don't understand why people feel they need to say one thing and do another. Or tell someone one side of a story, and you the other. That's sorta lying, friends. I don't do the lying.

Granted, I have made a few friends here that this doesn't apply to, but I guess I'm just fascinated by how many people fall into this category.

Sometimes, this is why its easier to just date d-bags, too. I mean if you know someone is an evil bastard, then you can just take what you want and leave. The supposed urban myth of a "nice guy" is much harder because those posing as such are the ones that shake your belief system - "just when you thought you were safe."

I know several of you are shaking your heads. Some of you are wondering if I'm talking about you. And then I know there's at least one of you that is about to click send on an email that says "not everyone is like that. Just keep hanging in there."

This isn't about a boy, not even a d-bag. And its not about friends either. This is just me missing Jersey and the way we handle things. There is no spin, no political correctness. You know where you stand and people can sniff BS from one end of the turnpike to the other.

Sometimes, I just really miss home and my really good friends - the ones that are my rocks.

Yea, so I didn't get much sleep...

Anyway, good morning, Heather. :). Thank you for reading.

Smooches,
G

Silence is Not Golden

Ok, truth be told...I'm trying to trick myself into not falling into the birthday blahs. So, last night's party was a good way to start...today's repercussions were rough.

And now the rest is silence. I'm not good at silence because it leads to thinking. Thinking leads to insomnia when I realize that every time I think I have something figured out, I'm wrong.

A very frustrating and sad process.

But, as Scarlett would say...tomorrow is another day.

Smooches,
G

GBAS week has begun

It's here, folks. GBAS! I figured I would kick it off with a small gathering of folks and spirits.

I'm assuming it went well given that I slept on the floor last night and my kitchen looks like someone robbed a liquor store.

From my recollection, I attempted to behave and switch to Diet Coke...but someone added Stoli to it. Somewhere between that and my inability to say no to shots led to the awesomely bad headache and body pains I'm now experiencing.

There's a reason why I shouldn't party like its 1999 - I was 23 then. Recovery was much easier.

Awh hell, who am I kidding...I'll be doing this next weekend at the Shore too.

I'm rockin' this GBAS...because I just don't care what happens.

Smooches,
G

Another Reason I Need a Lil' Help from My Friends

In case you didn't hear yet, there was a mild earthquake this morning in DC. Since he already helped me escape NYC both during 9/11 and the 2003 Black Out, of course the Schmeffster is first with a text to check on me (because otherwise he'd have to whip out his Superman cape and fly down here... frankly, with traffic, it would make him late for work).

I figured my dad, who is always watching the news and all hi-tech with his damn NY Times NewsAlerts would at least pick up the phone, if not send me a message. Instead, no response.

As always the forgotten child, here's the text message exchange:

G: Just letting you know I'm ok after the EARTHQUAKE this morning.
Dad: What earthquake?
G: DC had a 3.6 this morning
Dad: OH NO - just heard... it was in GAITHERSBURG (where my brother lives)

So, now I'm sure he's calling my brother on every available number to make sure he's ok... Sigh.

As Schmeffster and I just discussed, I'm going to have to escape terrorist abduction or an alien or undetonate a bomb before they ever check on me.

Thank you friends... at least I know you always care. :-)

Smooches,
G

PS - a final text message arrived from my dad: "Len felt nothing. He said what earthquake?"

Didn't I tell ya... did he call me?! Nope. Nyet. No.

the definition of insanity

Is repeating the same action and expecting a different result. I think in several aspects of life, this makes me quite insane. Ah, and GBAS is a comin' which is usually when the fit hits the shan.

I miss my peeps...and my eyesight.

Smoocbes
G

more musings from the fuzzy farm

Yes, I've trained myself to type on my bberry w/o looking at the keys. I'm a workaholic and a dork.

What else have I learned. Now that I'm on day 7 of this sightless adbenture?

I'm impatient.

I'm feeling more confident that I coyld be a Jeopardy contender
.
I miss my life of drinking and debauchery. At least yesterday I got to see my aunt and have some emergency pinot grigio for lunch.

I'm way too amused by Lucky the Wonderdog...and I now take her "cues".as direct conversation. This includes her various sighs, head tilting and changing position while sleeping.

I like my iPod. A lot.

Oh and my favorite that, I've alreadytold some of you.

I have 3 different types of internal music:

1) When I'm mentally or literally on hold, I have Girl from Iponema in my head
2) When I'm trying to think really hard, I have final Jeopardy theme
3) When I'm frolicking or enjoying something I have the Smurfs...la la lala la la...

Please send help...
-G

todays blurry polly positivity

I can't give you lyrics, but strongly encourages downloads or lyrics seaches on my top two songs of the day - "sound of sunshine" by my beloved michael franti and "this is the day" by the the.

Bonus points if you knew them already.

One day soon my eyes will clear!

Bionic Eyes

After much sleep, hydration and many carrots, I'm starting to work my way back to G.

Sadly, there aint much to do when yer eyes are blurry and stuck together like glue.

Yesterday I spent an hour looking through my wicker beach hat because I could see clearer through it. I also listened to six (oh yea, 6) consecutive hours of Real Housewives of New Jersey. My Northern accent is impeccable.
Today, eyes or no eyes I was determined to take my favorite fur ball, Lucky, for a walk. Then I figured I'd try her way of life for awhile and just woke up from another 3 hour "nap". Lucky is still asleep...tonight I'm attempting the life of a Twi-hard and heading to the midnight show of Eclipse with my best gals...who I've pre-warned that I'm a little nutty and cabin feverish at the moment.

Where's my fam? Oh, my parents left me...they're moving shore houses which is why I'm waiting until a 6:40 doc appt tonight.

At any rate, much love to all of you who have been so nice to check in on me. And super bonus points to those of you who are going out of your way to amuse me... I've been what the French would call "a royal bitch" given the ridic amounts of pain, so I really appreciate it. (Which is why my parents are so eager for me to leave tonight).

At any rate, in the quest to keep me happy, I have a story to share from one of you entertainers. As some of you may know, when I first started living alone, I didn't have the necessary funds, so I thought of many ways to "rent" my house...it was also a creative way to pass the time considering I had noone to blab all my fabu ideas to...

Well, after the naked bakery and "movie" set ideas flopped, I netted out between illegal gaming and house of ill repute...this fine lad wrote a compelling reason to combine the two, so since I've spent all my eye power precluding this, I'm going to give you the tale and since there are no midgets or conspiracies, we know it aint Schmeffster.

"You could do sports book, poker, "billiards", and escorts.  With a small bar
to provide legitimate cover. 

"We are a full-service establishment" she told me, as she sprinkled some
salt on my coaster, and placed the beer stein in front of me.  There was a
bit of head on this beer, a tasty house Pilsner from some pub I'd never
heard of in Bavaria, and some of the foam spilled down the side of the mug.
"Oh look, a happy ending," she chuckled, "it's kinda our specialty here."

It was the kind of place that smelled of a life lived hard.  Some harder
than others, of course.  A little cigar smoke, a little gin, a little
pheromone, and a hint of cloves hit you in the door.  A whiff of sex and
unfocused regret catches my nose from time to time, but you really can't
avoid either of those things completely in this business. 

An Arab dude was sitting next to me watching a soccer game, vodka rocks,
stinking of Drakkar Noir.  Apparently he had some kind of appointment (I
couldnt tell if it was with one of the ladies here, or out in the real
world), because he kept checking his watch.

The flight of stairs into the place helps set the scene.  Too many entendres
competing for your attention - descent into darkness, into the bottom of the
barrel, into hell, "going down".  I don't really know which, if any, is the
primary channel for the feeling; I think it's more the combination -- the
barley, hops, yeast, and water that together make this ale of ennui a strong
one.

So why am I here?  I wish I knew.  The madam said she had a business
opportunity she wanted to discuss with me.  There aren't many opportunities
I pass up, but then again, there aren't often this many opportunities to end
up in jail all in one room.  But I'm curious, broke, and starving for a
little serotonin in my life.  So I'll drink my Pilsner, let the current of
ill repute flow by me, and see what fish nibble on the bait."

(Reposted with permission, (c) Captain Awesome, 2010)

I want my life and eyes back!! Miss you all sooo much.

Smooches
G

I'm alive. Wish I could say and well. My doc said I'm wexperiencing "worst case scenario prk recovery"...which means burning scratching eyes. The best I can equate is if someone decided to exfoliate your eyes with sand and then rinse it w/bleach. They had to give me an anesthsia drop so my eyes would open the first few days. Today I'm completely cloudy.

Hoping this all clears up soon.

Last Post Today...

I forgot to announce that I am an innovator. Several weeks ago, I decided I wanted to make Manhattan snocones, using the snocone maker that the Schmeffster bought me a million years ago, when I decided that I didn't need to buy grown up kitchen appliances, just fun ones.

I thought this would be a particularly brilliant idea given that you use a bit of cherry juice for a Manhattan, which would be like a cherry snocone... except with a decent kick.

After a few versions, I thought these were quite delish and I made something pretty worthy of trying. Unfortunately, my thoughts were not shared, so I extinguished my dream of making a whole snocone menu of cocktails.

And what pops into my inbox this week from a local DC eatery??

"Most frozen drinks look (and taste) more like convenience-store slushies than serious cocktails. But Art and Soul has reinvented the slushy with a new sno-cone cocktail menu ($12) that brings serious mixology to the icy genre. Available on the restaurant's spacious, newly expanded patio, each drink layers fresh fruit and vegetables with top-shelf spirits and house-made infusions in crushed ice. The Laurel Park is a frozen answer to the Pimm's Cup, stacking diced cucumbers and strawberries in gin, St-Germain and sparkling rosé.Spicy cayenne-and-cinnamon sugar rims the Washington Bite, a fittingly tart combination of yuzu liqueur, vodka and a house-made New Bay spice blend (a paprika-packed take on Old Bay), garnished with slivers of crunchy jicama. Fruit enhances--but never overpowers--these frozen, syrup-free cocktails. Bartenders steep pineapple pulp in water overnight to get the flavor of the fruit without the sweetness of its juice for the potent Cachaça- and spearmint-based Rehoboth; peaches are the perfect summer garnish to the Savannah, a vodka-spiked adaptation of Southern sweet tea.Looks like Capitol Hill's going to need a new slushy fund. Art and Soul, 415 New Jersey Ave. NW, between D and E sts.; 202-393-7777 or artandsouldc.com"

I'm heading there tomorrow to figure out which one of these bartenders overhead and stole my idea. In the meantime, I think this further proves that I missed my calling as a professional mixologist and spirts expert.

ok, y'all now have PLENTY to read. I hope you enjoyed.

Smooches,
G

Dads...

I'm not sure it's a big secret my dad is awesome. But, in case you didn't know why... here's a laundry list of reasons:

1. I don't know any other guy in their 70s who starts their own company.
2. He's more technologically advanced then me... he sends me more text messages and knows all the short cut words (b4, u 2, c u later).
3. I can't name one person who knows him that he hasn't helped in some way.
4. He has come to appreciate my most comical moments like speeding tickets involving huge insurance rate increases, hitting his boat with my car... well, maybe not appreciate persay... but the man definitely enjoys an entertaining drunk dial from his daughter whether she's in Vegas or its New Years.
5. He never stops. Really, ever. He could be the inspiration for the Energizer bunny.
6. I got him hooked on Jeopardy and I'm pretty sure its because he likes when I curse because I get the wrong answer.
7. He's still a little kid at heart. Example: yesterday, when we took him to the new Air & Space Museum... he was like a kid in a candy store... or, better example, me on Tree day. Had to take pictures of all the planes and space ships, talk to every pilot, ride the 3D simulator. You know what translates into F-U-N.
8. He's a good dad and also a great granddad too... it's too much fun to watch him with my nieces. It reminds me of my own grandfather, when I see my niece's face light up when he walks into a room... I know exactly what she's thinking.
9. He's reached the age where he's willing to try all my mixologist concoctions. Even if he swallows them and acts like I'm trying to poison him with too much booze. He doesn't appreciate the spirits yet, but he's working on it.
10. He sets a bar worthy of trying to reach. Between his hard work, loyalty to family and friends, fight to make sure things are fair and right and satisfaction in everything he does - it's aggressive to try to live up to that, but a pursuit worth attempting.

But, my dad aside for a moment, one of the even cooler things about my life is that I know many, many dads who all possess some really awesome and unique traits that they are raising their kids to know, love and appreciate the same way I do my own dear ol' pop. Of course, I won't spoil the fun and tell your kids what some of those things are... I'll just wait until they're old enough, get in trouble for something one of you boys did and I'll drop the bomb and let them know. (Kidding)

Happy Fathers Day to all my favorite dads.

Smooches,
G

Happy Birthday Danielle!!

Have a great day!

Smooches,
G

(yes, i'm on a roll today)

Life's Little Lessons

Yes, my dear lovely sweet readers... I have neglected you. And me, because I usually love writing my blog. But thanks to more modern technologies all my super fun ideas wind up as tweets or FB statuses... I mean, really, its challenging to keep track of where I display my lovely bouquet of thoughts.

But, once again, I will try to get you some entries. As most of you know, Thursday is my big day for my BOGO surgery (hey - not everyone gets to have one surgery and get the second free... it's talent).

As for where I've been and who I've been with... well, how about I just turn that into a new list of life lessons and valuable "best practices":

Career Life Lesson

Best Practice #1 - never mix allergy meds w/no food and many drinks
Best Practice #2 - never shoot 1800

Both of those leads to Life Lesson #1: Never ever wake up to a note that says "good morning -- small incident, no biggy" signed "love" by your boss and HR person who were in your hotel room to drop you off from the night before.

Mixologist Lesson

Best Practice #1: Don't use crystallized lime as a substitute for real limes when making mojitos.
Best Practice #2: Mint growing is easy, mint trimming is for professionals.

Which leads to Lesson: If you do use fake lime and too few mint leaves you are left with the 3rd ingredient of a mojito, rum. Bright side: you'll forget that you did anything wrong with your drink about 1 1/2 drinks later.

People Lesson

Best Practice #1: Do continue to surround yourself with people that make you smile and laugh.
Best Practice #2: Anyone that can get you to bust out an uncontrollable snort laugh the first time you meet them possesses talent.

Lesson: Don't try to fit a square peg in a round hole. It ain't ever gonna work.

Smooches all!
-G

Judge Me

So, I took a personality test, results below. What do you think, accurate?

You care about the big picture. You are comfortable with large, ambiguous issues. You carefully weigh all of the variables involved, and regularly come up with imaginative solutions to complex problems.

You are friendly and humane. You have a big heart; you tend to trust people and sympathize with them easily. You want to make others happy and self-confident. So you work to build supportive networks among friends and kin.

Your empathy and kindness spill over into a desire to make the world a better place. And with your resilience and creativity, your ability to do many things at the same time, and your cleverness with words, you can be remarkably effective at improving the lives of others.

You are ambitious for your family and friends, but not always for yourself. You like an environment of sharing and consensus and you enjoy working in teams and planning long term.

You tend to be socially well-adjusted and skilled at inspiring others to reach their goals. So you are an empathetic and engaging companion.

If At First You Don't Succeed...

Date, date again. Ah, here's to the boys of summer...and the numerous stories to follow. Hoping one of these frogs will turn into a prince.
Had a great couple of hours doing my annual summer kickoff ritual aka my visit to the Ranieri's casa de la playa...nothing says summer like a Capt'n'Coke on my favorite beach deck. Some laughs with some of the best people I know always makes me feel right as rain.

Had some quality family time too...played some board games with my favorite brain trust (my sister, her boyfriend and my second big sister). And spent some time on my dad's boat.

Hope to see y'all soon.

Love
G

Happy Start of Summer...

Always comes and goes so fast. I'll be tweeting and FBing my travel adventures.

For starters, I'm on the Acela, and have a good 4 hrs of travel ahead of me as I'm connecting in Philly to head to AC.

There is a couple behind me, who is very amorous and very unafraid to show their affection. The moaning has to stop, right?! Please...please tell me it will stop?!

I may go deaf if iPurple gets much louder.

Sighhhhhhh....

Have a great holiday weekend all.

Smooches,
G

good morning heather...

My pal Heather let me know she checks my blog every day. Sweet, so wanted to give a shout out. Quick G update: prepare for bad weather because I'm heading to the shore! Had a great time at the annual Congressional Blues Festival last night (see Facebook for picture)...life is rolling right along.

Miss you Jersey peeps...sorry I won't see most of you for another couple weeks.

Hope all is well.

Smooch!
G

When Allergies Attack

So, en route to the dentist and figured I'd say hello. Been asleep for 20 out of the last 24 hours because I now have severe allergies. I also get completely drowsy and sick from nondrowsy allergy meds. More on that...much, much more.


Right now, trying to decide if I should make the trek up for Memorial Day so I can kill any chance for nice weather. :)

Hope all is well.

Love
G

just your typical weekend

Hello All-

I've got some time on my hands as I make my way from AC to NYC.

This weekend I was at one of my favorite happy places, Ocean City. Had a lovely weekend - took Lucky the Wonderdog for a long walk on the beach, got mani/pedis with my mom and sister and even got some time on my dad's boat. Other than me hitting my head at the nail salon...It seemed so normal and Rockwellian...well almost...

On the way back from the boat, my dad shut the back door of the Snokat...for those of you who forgot, the Snokat is my dad's lovely Camry wagon which should be on Pimp My Ride. Well, I heard the standard "sonofa mother BLEEP"...and ran back found my father holding the back panel of the car...the whole thing fell apart. I wouldve love to stay and help, but I couldn't stiffle my snorting laughter and could see his blood pressure rising.

Ah Karma loves me so...

I get back to the house to get ready to leave. As I'm packing, I grab my iPod, which feels sticky. Well, that's because my dad accidentally dropped hot candle wax all over it..focusing on the wheel part. Who needs a 4th ipod...oh, that would be me. I try to save it and break my nail in attempt to get the wax off. Mani=wrecked.

Try to shake that off, I shower and grab my eye drops that I bought at CVS 15 mins before...yet expired a year ago.

Anything else? Well since I'm on the road through Wed night, I thought I'd spend the extra 20 and travel first class on the Aces train...this does not translate into someone carrying my luggage and I proceed to break the rest of my nails.

Now, I'm on the train w/some vicious ladies who keep laughing at everything I say. I don't know what's so funny about "can you give me champagne w/OJ on the side in the event I want to hydrate", but apparently, that's a hoot.
Bright side: first class does bring your drinks to you. And that my friends is Karma saying "Success".

I'd like to dedicate this post to my favorite travel partner and friend, Nicole. Happy birthday, Nic!!

Smooches,
G

Positive Thought of the Day

You spend 20.99 years waiting to be old enough...and then it all turns to shit.

Enjoy!
-G

G's New Phrase of the Week

You need to change your philosophy from "grin and bear it" to "gin and bear it"...bust out the Bombay!

Too bad I don't like gin!

:)

blogs arent supposed to be monthly

Sorry y'all... Things are pretty good though. Busy, but good. Well adjusted and balanced... I really hope to see my Jersey peeps soon though. Miss the heck out of my M12.

Def on par for surgery in June.

Love you
G

Fried But Not French...

Greetings my dear friends and readers,

I miss writing this blog. I miss having things like time, oh and friends. I've finally not travelled for a whole week, but I'm off to Jersey next week.

I did manage to schedule my "G Gets Great Vision: Take 2" eye surgery for June 24... so for those of you in the Mt. Laurel and Ocean City areas, I can finally catch up.

Oh yea, if you want to go ahead and think about how pathetic it is that I'm excited to get surgery so I can get a real vacation... please do so.

Other than that, today I spent waiting on Comcast to come fix my TV and some other things to try to begin to catch up with all I missed over the past few weeks. Like paying bills... and oh, fun, TAXES.

I'm fried, folks... just unbelievably FRIED. Oh, I went out on a date this week, which may actually take top prize in the Hall of Fame for worst date ever. I will tell you that if someone is a self-proclaimed flip cup champion and over 30, you should RUN not walk to the nearest exit. You'll have to see me in person for the rest though. Trust me... its not fit to print.

I have a few of those stories as of late. I apparently am not cut out for the wonderful world of SINGLE, straight normal men. On the other hand, I have learned I attract abnormal, drunk, slightly stupid, careerless, hopeless, not-single d-bags like moths to a flame.

I seriously continue to wonder about joining the nunnery.

I'm hoping that tomorrow I'll be a bit more caught up on sleep, won't get up at 4:45 am and will actually leave the house instead of watching every 80s movie ever made thanks to my new digital cable.

Miss you guys a ton.

Love,
G

Greetings from Orlando

Where I will spend the next 26 hours...I'm at baggage claim. Happiness today is having a mix up and seated in first class.

Back to DC tomorrow, then NYC thurs/fri.

Since Mar 15 - I've been to:

Philly
Detroit
Las Vegas
Chicago
Philly
DC

And now I'm here. If you see me, please remind me: 1) what city I'm in and 2) what time zone it is.

Smooches all,
Very exhausted G

Sorry Schmotty... and All of You

I am swamped. Right now, stuck trying to go through a year's worth of receipts for taxes. So far all I've uncovered is that if alcohol was a write-off, I'd be a rich woman.

I leave for Orlando tomorrow AM for work... stay there about 24 hours, then head home. I leave for NYC (yes, for work) 2 days later. Another 48 hours.

I am, admittedly, a bit crazy and off right now. I owe you all a lot of writing and will get there if I can ever get off this crazy train.

Smooches,
G

thanks universe...

For the worst day ever. Just when I think "what else"...you've managed to sucker punch me after kicking me in the shins. Hard.

Happy Birthday Schmotty!!!

Well, Schmotty... I'm back East with horrible jet lag. And as of this morning, my third broken iPod. So, your post is delayed. But, I promise it will come! It is an annual classic, afterall. :-)

Have a wonderful birthday!

Love,
G

these boots aint made for running

For those of you not on the twitter, I am in detroit where I proceeded to run 66 gates after being asked if I could alphabeticize by some rude bizzatch...only to find out our plane was connecting at the gate next to where we departed...

FML.

Your friend coated in sweat...
G

follow me on twitter

Too many work folks have my Facebook. I'm under cheetah_kittens.

Smooch!
-G

G's World Wide of Spanx

Dear friends,

I really do think of you often...I started this post a week ago when I was in the back of a car.

***Greetings from the back of a stretch sedan. I am off to a black tie gala. How did I get here? Oh, let's recap for s and g's (that's shits and giggles). Speaking of s and g's...let's talk about spanx. These are a contraption that women are forced to wear when they need to look like they are a stuffed meatball. How does one get in them? Well, I imagine the process is similar to stuffing sausage into its casing. Imagine crawling into a toddler's swimsuit...that's about the size of it.****

There was mass chaos behind this tale including a dress that got too big and fell down...and a police barricade around my building when thwe car came to get me. How did this story end? Oddly, it was calm. I didn't embarrass myself or others, always a good thing.

Where am I now? On Amtrak en route for my first vacation in a year! After 2 weeks of working 12+ hours a day (including weekends, kids), I'm ready for a break.

I wish I had some wittier stuff right now, but my eyes are closing and I'm slapping myself so I don't fall asleep and end my trip in NYC.

I promise lots of fun Vegas adventure stories! I'll try to tweet, FB or make some contact!

Oh, one boy update- they suck! Had a run in with an ex...it didn't end well. I've decided that if I don't hit the jackpot, I'm going to attempt the nunnery. Doesn't seem like a high pressure job...and I could be the "too cool for school" nun that all the bad kids talk to! I think there is potential here! :)

Miss you all SO much and I hope you're all well.

Smooches,
G

One Sleepy Kitten...

What a winter...sorry Northern folks who are finally feeling Snowmeggedon. Your pal, G, is exhausted...after way too many work hours this week and just overcoming drama and chaos.

In better news, you all continue to give birth like crazy! Two new little boys in a week. A big congrats to my friends, The Spinellas and The Boyds on their new lil' dudes!!!

As for me, all is looking better. Definitely had me some serious winter blahs...I think we all did. But I sorta feel a change coming. Of course, that could be good or bad. It remains to be seen, but I am an eternal optimist.

Sometimes the universe throws me a biscuit. And when that fails, I get some surprises from those of you who love me. Like last night, when B bought us a new Wii game! Of course, he proceeded to kick my bum in every sport, but that's ok. For now. :)

Vegas is 17 short days away....so be prepared for some stories! Oh, and I booked my trip to see Phil the Groundhog next February!! Should be an over the top trip, partying with random Pennslyvanians! I can't wait for this one!

Smooches,
Sleepy G on Amtrak

Happy Least Favorite Holiday!

If there is one way to piss me off, it's to wish me a Happy Valentine's Day. No offense to you all... I'm super happy for everyone that is surrounded by loved ones on this day. But I have never (really truly) EVER had a decent Valentine's Day. I have witnesses that will attest to this. Some of best of the worst:

1) Slippery Sweetheart: While in high school, G had to endure a bunch of surgeries and testing. She finally had a boyfriend during V-Day and was determined to go out, but had a medical test the next day. Unfortunately, no one told her that the prep for the GI related test, would make her wish she stayed home. An explosive evening to say the least.

2) Nothing Says Love Like Disease: 4 years later after coming out of hiding from the dreadful event, G tries once again to celebrate the holiday. Unfortunately, her whore of a roommate, is doubled over in pain and needs to go to the ER. Nothing says romance like waiting in an ER for 4 hours to find out the person who you share a room with has an STD. Pass the chocolates, dear.

Pretty sure I gave up then... and that was 13 or so years ago. And of course, I'm an idiot and never should've went out with that guy so close to V-Day... even though he called me like crazy after the first date... didn't hear much after the second. This day is a curse... and it seems one that will never be broken. Case in point, I was supposed to have dinner with B tonight, and even he had to stand me up.

No V-Day. Ever. Bah-humbug.

-G

More Sno-isms

I hope everyone is enjoying the snowtasmic weather. According to the Weather Channel, we have now upgraded from Panicked Mid Atlantic to Frantic Mid Atlantic. To celebrate, here's a new list of sno-isms from Schmotty the Superb Linguist.

It's snonuff already
Snodoubt about it
Snowfortheloveofgod
Snogement day
Where you goin?........Snowhere
This whole thing is definitly snowverblown
People are just snowvereatcting

Thanks for keeping me laughing, Scoot. That and the retail therapy helped!

Smooches all!
-G

And In Other News...

More snow! Tsnownami Part 2. Could someone please send me a dog sled? Or hey, one of you M12 boys with the big trucks... come get me. For the record, I'm now a chef. I have made: stir fry, salmon, chicken soup and every breakfast food imaginable (except scrapple). I've had countless conversations with my stuffed dog, Baxter. I rule at Wii Swordfighting, can't win at Table Tennis and the Just Dance-offs usually resemble me flailing about as if I'm having a seizure (but still muy fun). I am halfway through The Godfather (the book) and have seen ridiculous amounts of movies (two thumbs up for State of Play and Anvil). I've also been on two dates (with the same boy)... I'm way more productive when I'm working from home it would seem.

I hope you all are hanging tough in this weather. And that I get to see you before summer.

Smooches,
G

Prepare for the Snowpocalypse

As I delve further into becoming a Southerner, I now buy into the snow hype, or snype if you will. But, 24 inches of snow, without a Magni Christmas party is going to be tough! Good thing I have my B and my Wii to keep me entertained. In the meantime, here are some fun new snow terms from the panicked Mid Atlantic:

snOMG
snowmegeddon
snowstruction

Enjoy the weather!

Smooch,
G

Lucky the Wonderdog Has Serious Competition

I would never mock Lucky for her career choices of landscape architect (read: hole digger) and couch warmer, but I'm afraid this dog's job puts her to shame.

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

We're All In this Together

Hellooooo Readers-

I've gotten complaints about my lack of blogging. So, let me start with an apology. I do tend to forget that people actually read this.

What have I been up to? Enjoying this hazy shade of winter. Ok, not really. I admit misery loves company, but the growing amount of company I'm in has me pretty distressed.

There isn't too much to tell. Went on a truly awful 72 minute date. I've been so stressed at work that I'm getting blinding migraines, chronic stomach issues and chest pains. Ah, the beauty behind what some of you call a "career". Ironic that it rhymes with "pain in your rear".

Today, I helped a poor train conductor on Amtrak who was harrassed by some rude travellers...wrote a great email on his behalf to the company too.

As for the rest, well, I've been spending my time doing some deep thinking (can you see the steam coming out of my ears?). I had a bit of an epihany recently...which is that I can't answer a very simple question - what do I want out of life. The brutal truth is that I spent my entire life working to please other people and never gave myself much thought. Its weird realizing that I have no direction because I rely on other's compasses.

I have no answers right now, btw. I remain lost.

In other lighter G news, I have to attend a black tie event for work. I'm sure hilarity will ensue as I'm stuffed into a dress and attempt to dance/walk in heels. Oh, and its a dinner too...I hope the waiter is prepared.

I hope you all are doing well.

Smooches,
G