Ok, I have a date next week... this week was a bit too crazy including our conference director possibly resigning 7 weeks from our annual conference and I am still missing the first edition of Insecta, Vol. 2. So... another story of Key West it is.
Since I knew we'd be in a car for a very very very long time, I got the brillant idea to bring along a journal to track our trip... a captain's log if you will. So here, is an entry from that log (with a better explanation, to match of course).
Captain's Log
New Years' Day Night - Key West 2006
The Paul looks for some guy's watch in the trees and shrubs of El Patio's (aka El Barrio's) courtyard. Turns out the guy, who scaled a tree and the railing to get to the second floor had the watch in his pocket all along.
I know what you're thinking... wha? huh? Is this another only in the world of G stories? And yes, you'd be correct about that. The fabu 4 were enjoying an early night back (around 1 or 2 am) from Duval Street, to do one of G's favorite activities--play poker. As we get closer to the motel, we notice the lights of flashing cop cars and realize they are at our place. Not so unusual, considering our motel neighbors included: workers repairing the hurricane damage (and greeted us every morning with a fresh Budweiser in their hands), a bunch of bikers and to top it off, a group of rap music producers (who were staying at the motel because they like to mingle with the people--and boy did they looove me). Basically, we were one Confederate flag short of a race riot.
Cautiously thinking, The Paul believes that we should walk back to Duval and let the fuzz clear out. However, Curious George the Attorney (aka Roomie), decides it would be best if we march directly into the motel and see what's going on. G, realizing that it might be bad if Roomie goes in alone (as you saw from the first KW story, he has a tendency to say inappropriate things in poor timing), treks after him.
Roomie asks Biker Dude what is going on. Biker Dude says, "oh, some dumb guy got drunk, passed out and fell off the bed." We then hear the sound of an ambulance and think that maybe this guy fell pretty hard. Next we see Biker #1 with the EMT saying, "yea, we're staying on the second floor". Realizing it was Biker Dude's dumb friend that they're bringing a stretcher for, we decide to go inside and play poker. After total demoniation at the table by Roomie, (logged by him as follows: Gina on two queens with an 8 kicker, Mr. Z on a straight and The Paul on three aces), we take a brief break and go outside to the courtyard of our motel.
Enjoying the quiet, some fresh air and the super bright stars, we hear the sound of someone rustling in the bushes. Somewhat odd for 3 am or so, we look up and realize there is a guy scaling a palm tree in the courtyard. Now, I guess we should've maybe asked the guy, why is he climbing or tell him to be careful... but we could do nothing but sit and stare and wonder if the ambulance would make a return visit. The climber works his way over the railing of the 2nd floor and we here the sound of something drop. Still watching in complete amusement, the climber calls out and asks us for help. We continue to stare. Then finally, The Paul, gets up to see what this guy, who forgoed the stairs to climb a tree, could possibly want. The climber thought he had lost his watch as he was climbing up and asked The Paul to look for it and throw it up to him. Ever helpful, The Paul begins a furious search, which included some physics (measuring the trajectory of how, where and when the watch could've dropped). The rest of us continue to stare.
After about 10 minutes, the climber reaches into his pocket and says, "oh here it is, I've had it all along." Then goes into his room. The Paul walks back to the table and the three of us continue to stare.
The end of Story 2 of Survivor Key West... yet another bizarre adventure that could only happen to G.
Smooches and have a great weekend,
G
Friday, January 27, 2006
Sunday, January 22, 2006
Off Hiatus
Well, well, well... a new year and it looks like its time to go fishing again. But before I start another year of good, bad and ugly dating stories... I give you a photo essay of the G holiday season.
Starting w/the Magni Xmas Bash:
Roomie enduring my drunken state at the Magni Bash
Rushing in a bike taxi to catch sunset at Mallory Square
Enjoying the glorious sunset!
Starting w/the Magni Xmas Bash:
Roomie enduring my drunken state at the Magni Bash
Rushing in a bike taxi to catch sunset at Mallory Square
Enjoying the glorious sunset!
Happy New Year!!
Sunday, January 15, 2006
Survivor Key West
As I wait patiently for Insecta Season 2, I want to tell y'all all about my fantastic New Years trip.
Several months ago and after a successful trip to Vegas, Roomie and my pals, Insecta creator and author, The Paul and Insecta character (or is he?), Mr. Z decided we needed to plot our next adventure to ring in the New Year. Initially, we were going to choose New Orleans, but thankfully, The Paul and Mr. Z vetoed that idea and suggested Key West. I'll admit the gambling addict in me wanted to do some gambling on the Ol' Bayou, but the beach lover in me decided Key West would be just as good. Plus since none of us have hit the lottery yet, we decided to save some cash by driving... however, the only car we own between the 4 of us that could fit us was Benny, a mini SUV. While a tight fit, we decided a cozy drive down would be fun.
After the Christmas Crisis, I was super excited when The Paul and Mr. Z came to my parent's door to get me (Roomie had my car). My dad quickly bored them to pieces with questions about Benny (typical dad questions like gas mileage, etc.). Then we were off to spend the night in DC and leave fresh for Key West the next day.
Of course, when you're with G, nothing is ever as easy as it should be. Fun, maybe, but never easy.
To get to DC, we had to go through the gates of hell, also known as F***in Delaware. The state of F***in Delaware, tried to thwart our trip by causing a full hour delay to get through it. However, the Paul, Mr. Z and myself were unstoppable. The second delay was not realizing that Roomie had given Mr. Z directions. I love Roomie, but Roomie has no ability to give directions. So, after doing a full loop around DC, we finally get inside the city and look for parking. We see a wide-open spot right across the street from my humble abode and after reading the ever confusing street signs, decide we'll double check w/Roomie if it is indeed ok to park there.
Roomie comes home from yet another hard day at work, and says he's certain that we can leave the car there until 9 AM the next morning. We hit our favorite burgers y pool night and play a little poker and hit the hay for the next day.
Mr. Z and I wake up early to make coffee and move Benny. We head outside to move Benny and into the cold air, knowing that in 22 short hours we'll be in tropical paradise.
As we go to cross the street, Mr. Z looking straight ahead says, "Um... the car is gone?!"
Still groggy from sleep, I finally look up and realize Mr. Z is right. The car is gone.
Mr. Z and I cross the street and re-read the sign... trying to figure out what happened. We stand in the spot Benny was in, perplexed yet maniacially calm. We realize there is only one thing left to do... going inside and kill Roomie.
We cross back across the street and enter Roomie's bedroom (I stand inbetween Roomie and Mr. Z for Roomie's sake).
G: "Roomie... the car is gone."
Roomie: "Oh, that sucks ass."
G: "Roomie, the car that we are taking to Key West is GONE."
Roomie (admist snores): "That's ok, we'll take the other one, then."
(Feeling Mr. Z's blood pressure rise, G delves deeper between Roomie and Mr. Z)
G: "The car we need to take to Key West TODAY is gone. I need to know what we have to do to get it back. You need to GET UP and help."
Roomie instructs Mr. Z and I to go outside and call the number on the sign. We do so and come to find out that DC has performed a "courteousy tow". Courteous tow is translation for we towed your car to another part of the city and fined you $100 as a courteousy.
Fortunately, we found Benny safely resting on 17th street, although he was a little scarred from the traumatic event. Mr. Z and I safely moved Benny to another street and began the mad dash to pack up so we could leave before Benny was towed again.
When we got back, Roomie said "See... that was no big deal." Right, wake up to no car, find car, have to pay $100 fine for car. No big deal at all.... Mr. Z has low growl and I tempt him away from his thoughts of killing Roomie with bacon and more coffee.
This begins the tale of Survivor Key West... not even the horrid traffic we endured through G** D**n Virginia (quickly climbing the ranks to F***in Delaware status) could hold us back. We had the menthol cool vocal stylings of Mr. John Cougar Mellencamp to fight Mr. Z's road rage.
Stay tuned throughout the year for more...
Smooch,
G
Several months ago and after a successful trip to Vegas, Roomie and my pals, Insecta creator and author, The Paul and Insecta character (or is he?), Mr. Z decided we needed to plot our next adventure to ring in the New Year. Initially, we were going to choose New Orleans, but thankfully, The Paul and Mr. Z vetoed that idea and suggested Key West. I'll admit the gambling addict in me wanted to do some gambling on the Ol' Bayou, but the beach lover in me decided Key West would be just as good. Plus since none of us have hit the lottery yet, we decided to save some cash by driving... however, the only car we own between the 4 of us that could fit us was Benny, a mini SUV. While a tight fit, we decided a cozy drive down would be fun.
After the Christmas Crisis, I was super excited when The Paul and Mr. Z came to my parent's door to get me (Roomie had my car). My dad quickly bored them to pieces with questions about Benny (typical dad questions like gas mileage, etc.). Then we were off to spend the night in DC and leave fresh for Key West the next day.
Of course, when you're with G, nothing is ever as easy as it should be. Fun, maybe, but never easy.
To get to DC, we had to go through the gates of hell, also known as F***in Delaware. The state of F***in Delaware, tried to thwart our trip by causing a full hour delay to get through it. However, the Paul, Mr. Z and myself were unstoppable. The second delay was not realizing that Roomie had given Mr. Z directions. I love Roomie, but Roomie has no ability to give directions. So, after doing a full loop around DC, we finally get inside the city and look for parking. We see a wide-open spot right across the street from my humble abode and after reading the ever confusing street signs, decide we'll double check w/Roomie if it is indeed ok to park there.
Roomie comes home from yet another hard day at work, and says he's certain that we can leave the car there until 9 AM the next morning. We hit our favorite burgers y pool night and play a little poker and hit the hay for the next day.
Mr. Z and I wake up early to make coffee and move Benny. We head outside to move Benny and into the cold air, knowing that in 22 short hours we'll be in tropical paradise.
As we go to cross the street, Mr. Z looking straight ahead says, "Um... the car is gone?!"
Still groggy from sleep, I finally look up and realize Mr. Z is right. The car is gone.
Mr. Z and I cross the street and re-read the sign... trying to figure out what happened. We stand in the spot Benny was in, perplexed yet maniacially calm. We realize there is only one thing left to do... going inside and kill Roomie.
We cross back across the street and enter Roomie's bedroom (I stand inbetween Roomie and Mr. Z for Roomie's sake).
G: "Roomie... the car is gone."
Roomie: "Oh, that sucks ass."
G: "Roomie, the car that we are taking to Key West is GONE."
Roomie (admist snores): "That's ok, we'll take the other one, then."
(Feeling Mr. Z's blood pressure rise, G delves deeper between Roomie and Mr. Z)
G: "The car we need to take to Key West TODAY is gone. I need to know what we have to do to get it back. You need to GET UP and help."
Roomie instructs Mr. Z and I to go outside and call the number on the sign. We do so and come to find out that DC has performed a "courteousy tow". Courteous tow is translation for we towed your car to another part of the city and fined you $100 as a courteousy.
Fortunately, we found Benny safely resting on 17th street, although he was a little scarred from the traumatic event. Mr. Z and I safely moved Benny to another street and began the mad dash to pack up so we could leave before Benny was towed again.
When we got back, Roomie said "See... that was no big deal." Right, wake up to no car, find car, have to pay $100 fine for car. No big deal at all.... Mr. Z has low growl and I tempt him away from his thoughts of killing Roomie with bacon and more coffee.
This begins the tale of Survivor Key West... not even the horrid traffic we endured through G** D**n Virginia (quickly climbing the ranks to F***in Delaware status) could hold us back. We had the menthol cool vocal stylings of Mr. John Cougar Mellencamp to fight Mr. Z's road rage.
Stay tuned throughout the year for more...
Smooch,
G
Thursday, January 12, 2006
Monday, January 09, 2006
How My Grinches Saved Christmas
I suppose there is no way of telling this story without rehashing my distasterous Christmas this year. While recounting this still fresh tale will bum me out, the final outcome will show you why this is such a great story.
As I said in past blog entries (see July's Gina's Birthday tales), after screwing up numerous birthdays and gifts, my family likes to buy me "gag" gifts to remind me of how dreadful these birthdays were. Noone likes to joke more than me, its the fact that the gag of the situation actually is the "real" gifts following the gag ones.
In the not so deep Christmas past, past gifts included: quacking slippers, tissues (w/santas on them) and a model Audi TT roadster (which made me look outside to see if they got me a real car... and they didn't but thought it was hysterical when I ran to the window).
I knew this Christmas would be no different, anticipating a few gag and bad real gifts. I tried to pre-empt this with a very specific gift list and impressing on the fact that there were things (like socks), I really needed this year and a few things I wanted--a duvet cover, a trunk and the Hallmark Snowman.
So, when I open my first gift, a set of scultpured hands my sister made in art class, I do my best to laugh as I did for gift #2, a pair of slippers which looked like feet with red toe nails. But the real gifts were: gift #3,-- a set of golden retriever playing cards (which my mother had already sent me in the mail--and had forgotten about) , gift #4 -- a jeweled brooch in the shape of a mosquito or dragonfly, gift #5 -- a beaded change purse and then finally, gift #6 (the gift that broke the camel in the manger's back) was a pair of massaging slippers.
Somewhere in between the opening of these gifts, I look up to see my brother, sister, sister-in-law and even the two dogs excited and surrounded by all the things on their Christmas list.
Now, some would say, that I was ungrateful for being upset... that I was lucky to get anything at all or even further, to have a family to spend the holiday with. And they'd be right, because in the end that is the true meaning of the holiday. However, when that same family is hysterical with glee because they think they're joking with someone never realizing they're hurting your feelings, it does tend to sting.
Call it me being selfish, call it years of pent up agression, something this Christmas just made me lose it. My parents went to hand me my next gift and I said I didn't want to open it. They immediately got defensive, said I was being ungrateful and couldn't take a joke. I asked why of all the things on my list, they didn't at least get me the Hallmark snowman and my mother said she thought I was telling her I wanted it because my dad wanted to see if she wanted one. I played along and opened the rest of my gifts. Then I went upstairs in my room and proceeded to cry for several hours until my dad came up to see what was wrong.
I guess they finally got the hint. I told my dad I couldn't go to Christmas dinner with them... that I just didn't want to be a part of the holiday anymore. I left after they did for dinner and drove to my friends' house and spent the night with them and their friends (and I was so incredibly grateful they invited me because I would've hate to spent Christmas night alone). Roomie showed up that night and managed to get me to smile by presenting me with handful of beads (yes, even something shiny would've made me happy Christmas morning).
Feeling guilty, my parents tried to remedy the situation. Last week, since they couldnt' find the Hallmark snowman which played piano, they sent me a mouse that played the piano and a family of snowmen. Again, nice thought, but still not getting it.
I remained burnt on Christmas--I told everyone who asked that Christmas was the usual, but it really sucked. When the Schmeffster asked, I told him I thought that maybe next Christmas, I'd keep it more subdued. That maybe, I was over the whole Christmas thing.
And up until 3 hours ago, I still felt the same way. I felt no excitement taking down the Christmas decorations and took them down the minute I could, I threw poor Thaddeus the tree in our dumpster without my traditional goodbye (Schmeff will tell you this is when I usually hug the tree, thank him for a good year and tell him I look forward to him sending me a good tree next year...proceeded by several whimpers). Nothing. Glad it was done and out.
Again, until 3 hours ago... after coming home from a horrible 8-6 day at the office where I find nothing was done that I needed done, my doorman flags me down and gives me two packages. I wasn't expecting anything, especially nothing from PA.
So, I open the first package... and there it is... the Hallmark Snowman. I can't believe it. I'm in shock. I call my dad and ask him if he bought it on eBay. He's just as baffled as I am. Roomie walks in... and I say, "Look someone bought me the Hallmark Snowman!".
He takes a long look at it and the package with his name on it. And says, "No, two people did because mine is in that box."
I'm completely stunned. Two Hallmark Snowmen? I can't believe the caring and thought behind one, but two? Which two people in this world could love me that much to think of and track down the one gift that would make me so happy.
Yup, in guess you haven't guessed it, its the only other person in this world infected by Ginaitis (and he had it for 6 years), the one and only Schmeffster.
The two people who have and had had to endure the G Christmas season in full force, with all the holiday decor and music and the ever-annoying G Gets a Christmas tree day, would rather see me dance excitedly around a snowman that plays Christmas carols on a fake piano than have my Christmas spirit perish in the family pyre.
That my friends, is some serious G love. When I figured out the second mystery snowman giver, I called Schmeff who said he was afraid the world would implode if I stopped liking Christmas, so he had no choice but to save the universe.
And maybe it's not the cure to cancer or the answer to world peace, but in this world, the world of G, it sure did save the day twice over.
Two (if only slightly delayed) Christmas miracles by two extrordinary people, restoring my faith and love in the holiday.
I remain blown away by the thought (and creeped out that I managed to morph the minds of two people to think like me--but maybe its my superpower) .
I both thank and love you both... not only for the snowman but having the courage, power and strength to live with me (or as you'd say, put up with me).
Smooches,
G
As I said in past blog entries (see July's Gina's Birthday tales), after screwing up numerous birthdays and gifts, my family likes to buy me "gag" gifts to remind me of how dreadful these birthdays were. Noone likes to joke more than me, its the fact that the gag of the situation actually is the "real" gifts following the gag ones.
In the not so deep Christmas past, past gifts included: quacking slippers, tissues (w/santas on them) and a model Audi TT roadster (which made me look outside to see if they got me a real car... and they didn't but thought it was hysterical when I ran to the window).
I knew this Christmas would be no different, anticipating a few gag and bad real gifts. I tried to pre-empt this with a very specific gift list and impressing on the fact that there were things (like socks), I really needed this year and a few things I wanted--a duvet cover, a trunk and the Hallmark Snowman.
So, when I open my first gift, a set of scultpured hands my sister made in art class, I do my best to laugh as I did for gift #2, a pair of slippers which looked like feet with red toe nails. But the real gifts were: gift #3,-- a set of golden retriever playing cards (which my mother had already sent me in the mail--and had forgotten about) , gift #4 -- a jeweled brooch in the shape of a mosquito or dragonfly, gift #5 -- a beaded change purse and then finally, gift #6 (the gift that broke the camel in the manger's back) was a pair of massaging slippers.
Somewhere in between the opening of these gifts, I look up to see my brother, sister, sister-in-law and even the two dogs excited and surrounded by all the things on their Christmas list.
Now, some would say, that I was ungrateful for being upset... that I was lucky to get anything at all or even further, to have a family to spend the holiday with. And they'd be right, because in the end that is the true meaning of the holiday. However, when that same family is hysterical with glee because they think they're joking with someone never realizing they're hurting your feelings, it does tend to sting.
Call it me being selfish, call it years of pent up agression, something this Christmas just made me lose it. My parents went to hand me my next gift and I said I didn't want to open it. They immediately got defensive, said I was being ungrateful and couldn't take a joke. I asked why of all the things on my list, they didn't at least get me the Hallmark snowman and my mother said she thought I was telling her I wanted it because my dad wanted to see if she wanted one. I played along and opened the rest of my gifts. Then I went upstairs in my room and proceeded to cry for several hours until my dad came up to see what was wrong.
I guess they finally got the hint. I told my dad I couldn't go to Christmas dinner with them... that I just didn't want to be a part of the holiday anymore. I left after they did for dinner and drove to my friends' house and spent the night with them and their friends (and I was so incredibly grateful they invited me because I would've hate to spent Christmas night alone). Roomie showed up that night and managed to get me to smile by presenting me with handful of beads (yes, even something shiny would've made me happy Christmas morning).
Feeling guilty, my parents tried to remedy the situation. Last week, since they couldnt' find the Hallmark snowman which played piano, they sent me a mouse that played the piano and a family of snowmen. Again, nice thought, but still not getting it.
I remained burnt on Christmas--I told everyone who asked that Christmas was the usual, but it really sucked. When the Schmeffster asked, I told him I thought that maybe next Christmas, I'd keep it more subdued. That maybe, I was over the whole Christmas thing.
And up until 3 hours ago, I still felt the same way. I felt no excitement taking down the Christmas decorations and took them down the minute I could, I threw poor Thaddeus the tree in our dumpster without my traditional goodbye (Schmeff will tell you this is when I usually hug the tree, thank him for a good year and tell him I look forward to him sending me a good tree next year...proceeded by several whimpers). Nothing. Glad it was done and out.
Again, until 3 hours ago... after coming home from a horrible 8-6 day at the office where I find nothing was done that I needed done, my doorman flags me down and gives me two packages. I wasn't expecting anything, especially nothing from PA.
So, I open the first package... and there it is... the Hallmark Snowman. I can't believe it. I'm in shock. I call my dad and ask him if he bought it on eBay. He's just as baffled as I am. Roomie walks in... and I say, "Look someone bought me the Hallmark Snowman!".
He takes a long look at it and the package with his name on it. And says, "No, two people did because mine is in that box."
I'm completely stunned. Two Hallmark Snowmen? I can't believe the caring and thought behind one, but two? Which two people in this world could love me that much to think of and track down the one gift that would make me so happy.
Yup, in guess you haven't guessed it, its the only other person in this world infected by Ginaitis (and he had it for 6 years), the one and only Schmeffster.
The two people who have and had had to endure the G Christmas season in full force, with all the holiday decor and music and the ever-annoying G Gets a Christmas tree day, would rather see me dance excitedly around a snowman that plays Christmas carols on a fake piano than have my Christmas spirit perish in the family pyre.
That my friends, is some serious G love. When I figured out the second mystery snowman giver, I called Schmeff who said he was afraid the world would implode if I stopped liking Christmas, so he had no choice but to save the universe.
And maybe it's not the cure to cancer or the answer to world peace, but in this world, the world of G, it sure did save the day twice over.
Two (if only slightly delayed) Christmas miracles by two extrordinary people, restoring my faith and love in the holiday.
I remain blown away by the thought (and creeped out that I managed to morph the minds of two people to think like me--but maybe its my superpower) .
I both thank and love you both... not only for the snowman but having the courage, power and strength to live with me (or as you'd say, put up with me).
Smooches,
G
Saturday, January 07, 2006
The Holiday Season at its Finest
I'm slightly nervous about posting this because a few weeks ago my dad learned how to "google". So, I'm hoping they can't track this down (especially since I'd never hear the end of the Driving Chronicles)... but here it is, my mother with Breasty the Snowman at the holiday dinner.
Friday, January 06, 2006
Snap Back to Reality (almost)...
Hello my favorite people of the Northeast...
I am back in DC (physically, at least). The biggest questions I have at the moment is why there are NO palm trees in this area and why they don't sell pina coladas on the street, oh and finally, why do I have to go to work this Monday?
For those of you wondering, the last few weeks have gone as follows:
**Home for the traditional M12 Christmas party -- yet another fun year and Roomie was able to finally meet the kids from home whom I adore so much.
**Back home (again) for Christmas -- oy, this story is to come... the fam outdid themselves this season bringing me to tears from all the horrid "joke" gifts... i will recount the story most likely in february when it stops making me cry.
**Road trip to glorious Key West -- Ah, me likey a place where at 6 PM on New Year's Eve I'm playing frisbee in the 71 degree ocean... me also likey a place where a drag queen drops out of a ruby slipper instead of the ball dropping in times square AND a place where gina is handed beads on the street and gets to wear a feather boa.
So, I'm trying to readjust to normalcy or until my business plans in KW go through... hopefully sooner rather than later.
Happy New Year to all and to all a good weekend.
smooch,
G
I am back in DC (physically, at least). The biggest questions I have at the moment is why there are NO palm trees in this area and why they don't sell pina coladas on the street, oh and finally, why do I have to go to work this Monday?
For those of you wondering, the last few weeks have gone as follows:
**Home for the traditional M12 Christmas party -- yet another fun year and Roomie was able to finally meet the kids from home whom I adore so much.
**Back home (again) for Christmas -- oy, this story is to come... the fam outdid themselves this season bringing me to tears from all the horrid "joke" gifts... i will recount the story most likely in february when it stops making me cry.
**Road trip to glorious Key West -- Ah, me likey a place where at 6 PM on New Year's Eve I'm playing frisbee in the 71 degree ocean... me also likey a place where a drag queen drops out of a ruby slipper instead of the ball dropping in times square AND a place where gina is handed beads on the street and gets to wear a feather boa.
So, I'm trying to readjust to normalcy or until my business plans in KW go through... hopefully sooner rather than later.
Happy New Year to all and to all a good weekend.
smooch,
G
Wednesday, January 04, 2006
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