Auld Lang Syne

Well folks, a little less than 10 hours less in this decade and then its on to 2010. It's sort of insane to think about the fact that it will be the year 2010. Even stranger to realize its the end of a decade. What an insane decade it was too. From Y2K to 9/11... moving to DC... everyone I know getting married and reproducing (over and over and over).

It seems as if each year moves faster. I don't think that's just me that thinks it. The end of last year was pretty tough. In fact, a year ago today, I was getting dumped. The first few months of this year wasn't much better. But I moved along. I went on some more ridiculous dates and met some ridiculous boys. I met a good boy... got my heart stomped on. But, hey, at least it was by a reasonably good guy this time.

All in all, it was a pretty good year. I feel like I learned a lot. For starters, I am now the an expert in making Manhattans. Really, I'm quite good. I can also make a mojito, but nowhere near as good as Mr. M. Mixologist.

Work is still work and I probably still do too much of it. I was stunned when I won another employee award. Two in 3 1/2 years... and I didn't have a clue that this one was coming. But, hey, I'll take it.

As for friends, I feel like I didn't get to see nearly enough of you this year. I also lost a few along the way which stinks. But what can you do?

So what's ahead in 2010? I really think this is going to be a good year, actually, I think it may be my year. I've never really had that optimistic attitude before (see last year's posts). But something seems sorta hopeful about this one... I'm in a good place and ready to let this year go and move along.

I don't believe in resolutions, but I do believe in resolve. I'm determined to make everything a bit better this year. And I'm also determined to use my vacation time this year, and for enjoyable things this time. I've already scheduled my now annual trip to Vegas in March. I have some plans in place to see some of you very soon, which is fantastic. And, I'm hoping some other good things come up. For all of us.

So as I go back to my recovery (read: couch potatoing) after celebrating the New Year a night too early, I wish you all a Happy New Year. I hope you all have a great and safe night!

Smooches,
G

A Christmas Story...

Hello All -

Happy New Years Eve to you... so I bet you all have been wondering what interesting, eccentric gifts I got this Christmas. Was it a new set of quacking slippers? Did I get more free samples? Was I given the wrong gifts to open?

All relevant questions given my Christmases of yore.

Well, I opened my first gift and it was an orange suede purse. That's right, I said orange. I breathed deep and said thank you. The suede itself was really nice. Then I waited... and waited.

Finally, my parents handed me a second gift. It was a big rectangular box, which I assumed were the curtains I asked for... but as I opened it, I was amazed. My parents bought me a Wii.

Did I even ask for a Wii? Actually I did. I took a look at my pathetic Christmas list (seriously... this was it: curtains, humidifier, polarized sunglasses, a yankee candle and bath and body works lotion) and thought I needed to add something frivolous to make me feel cool.

Did I ever expect to get a Wii? Are you kidding me?! Of course not. I expected an orange suede purse... owning my first gaming system I never did.

Every year I tell you that I know Christmas isn't about the gifts. And this is in no way a materialistic Christmas tale. It's a little bit about getting that bone tossed to me from the universe. I never got the cool gift at Christmas before. And I knew it was cool because before I could even finish unwrapping it, my brother was running to hook it up and play with it.

But, I think, it was more about watching my entire family play with my gift that was the real present itself. It was sorta fun watching my brother act like a little kid... my sister-in-law kick his butt at golf (at which he insisted the game was defected)... and my sister venting her frustrations by boxing. It was even amusing watching my dad throw the Wii bowling ball the wrong way and seeing all those lil' characters jump in the bowling alley.

A good time had by all. And well, other than slowly turning my father into a drinker and the normal family stress, I have to say, it was pretty quiet for me.

I hope you all had great holidays!

Smooch,
G

Christmas Eve...

And I'm actually watching Bing Crosby dance with Danny F'in Kaye for the first time. And finishing off a bottle of Jamesons, because I'm nowhere near where I thought I'd be tonight.

Last night, I finished my one private Christmas ritual of watching Its a Wonderful Life. I'm a fan of Capra and have a soft spot for that film. My favorite part is the book's inscription which reads "Remember, no man who has friends is a failure.".

Seeing those words stops me in my tracks and brings tears to my eyes. I really hope its true.

I've often thought about how the world would at least be different, if not better without me. At first guess, you'd lose a lot of amusement, but anything else I'm not so sure.

But, then, I look deeper and realize we all influence each others in ways.

Take the Schmeffster, who has out Christmased me this year by becoming an egg nog mixologist. Or, B who picked my Griswold tree this year...sure, not as big, but certainly more beautiful than ever.

Its hard to believe that I haven't helped develop those skills in some way.

And, let's not forget my beloved, yet perverse Rockwellian Magni Christmas party. Sure, I don't have much to do with the invention of it, but I'm happy to be a part.

So, as I quietly clickety clack on my bberry as toys are assembled around me, I pause to think about what Clarence said. "You see, George, you really did have a wonderful life.".

Smart angel. And words to consider...

I hope you all are snuggled with your families for a long winter nap. I love and thank all of you for letting me into your hearts and homes, continuing my faith that I'm not a failure because I have you all.

Merry Christmas to all...
G

New Holiday Philosophy

Nothing Stoppin' This Fun Ol' Fashioned Family Christmas...

This message goes out to my M12 posse, with a special shout out to my gal, Ker. Ain't nothing stopping the Magni Christmas party tomorrow. Nothing.

Neither sleet, nor snow, nor rain...Just call me the post(wo)man...I will call in the National Guard if necessary to get each of you picked up at your humble abodes. I'm in DC... I have those connections. :-)

In fact, I just booked an earlier trip home and getting in tonight. Because there is no place like home for the holidays... and there are no friends like the ones I got. So, this is G telling Mr. SnowMiser to keep it in check. I have plans!

Smooches,
G

And, in the end, Christmas won

Don't think its much of a secret that I haven't been full of good tidings and joy. No real reason, just in the holiday blahs I guess. I got Tolstoy, and he's looking nice.

Well, it would seem that Christmas seems to find me when I don't find it.

You may recall my wreath removal debacle of last year, where after my tree fell and a series of bad things, my building removed my jingle bell wreath.

Turns out I wasn't the only person who disliked the anti-Christmas, so a petition was formed and as of today, I'm allowed to hang my wreath with pride.

So you see friends, that's the universe telling me to get over myself and into the holiday season.

As for my eyes, I'm seeing 20/30, nearly perfect but to ease my concern my awesome doc gave me a light script for glasses. Can't tell if it will get better but as any Stones fan will tell you, you get what you need, not what you want.

Happy holidays to all.

G

Feliz Navidad

Jose Cuervo Christmas Cookies
1 cup of water
1 tsp baking soda
1 cup of sugar
1 tsp salt
1 cup or brown sugar
4 large eggs
1 cup nuts
2 cups of dried fruit
1 bottle Jose Cuervo Tequila

Sample the Cuervo to check quality. Take a large bowl,
Check the Cuervo again, to be sure it is of the highest quality,

Pour one level cup and drink.

Turn on the electric mixer. Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl.

Add one peastoon of sugar. Beat again. At this point
it's best to make sure the Cuervo is still ok, try another cup just in case.

Turn off the mixerer thingy.

Break 2 leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit.

Pick the frigging fruit off the floor.

Mix on the turner.

If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaters just pry it loose with a drewscriver.

Sample the Cuervo to check for tonsisticity.

Next, sift two cups of salt, or something. Who geeves a sheet. Check the Jose Cuervo. Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts.

Add one table.

Add a spoon of sugar, or somefink. Whatever you can find.

Greash the oven.

Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over.

Don't forget to beat off the turner.

Finally, throw the bowl through the window, finish the Cose Juervo and make sure to put the stove in the wishdasher.

Cherry Mistmas!



 
 
 
 
 

I Can Still Make Myself Smile Though...

so close... but no cigar.

It appears my eyes are not going to heal enough for me to live glasses free. I can see some, but just not enough... and can't continue living in a blur that gets worse everday. So, there's a lot of time and money down the drain. I head back to Jersey (again) to go to the doctor on Monday and get another update. Then I rush back on the train to get to another meeting where I can't see anyone's faces.

Just another big FAIL for G.

Sigh...

I've had no time for Christmas cards, so Merry Christmas. And let's not even talk about gifts... I hope everyone in my family likes iTunes cash.

My only silver lining is the pending Magni Christmas party. Never fails to brighten my holiday spirits.

-G

Happy Holidays!

You'll all thank me for directing you to this site: http://sketchysantas.com

The Universe Loves G Christmas, Too

A minute after I clicked "publish post", a beautiful snowfall started. And that, my friends, is one of those things that makes me think that someone up there watches out for me. :-). Of course, they still also love to screw with me because, let's face it, its amusing to do so.

But I'll take the times I'm thrown a bone.

A Long December

Greetings from Amtrak. I'm finally on my way back to DC after two fun-filled weeks of home. Definitely a mixture of good and bad. Thanks to all of you who drove me around. Eyes are pretty blurry today, which is really disappointing. Apparently, they're going to fluctuate and my doc says I'm functional. So, I need to be patient, something that is not on my virtue list.

At any rate, it is December and despite Hallmark being a pack of f'tards and discontinuing my Snowman, I must press on. B is on deck again this year for the annual G tree shopping. He keeps telling me a table-top tree would be good. That will have to be one big table. There's a reason why I always make the tallest people I know go tree shopping!

Miss you all much. I need some good vibes for both my eyes and Lucky, the Wonderdog. She had surgery too while I was home...poor thing is literally half bald, not an attractive look for a golden. I tried to remedy the situation by giving her my old The Cure concert t-shirt. She's sorta too cute to really play off goth, but she's managing.

Will hopefully be back soon with pics of To Be Named Tree.
Smooches,
G

End of an Era

Christmas as I know it no longer exists. The Hallmark Snowman is no longer. This is a Christmas nightmare...I has a big sad.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Here's hoping to break our running streak of kitchen fires. The eyes are coming along...so for that I'm thankful.

But I'm most thankful for all of you who I love so much and love me too!

Ok, now on to the humor...I will be tweeting my other "thanks"...feel free to read!

Smooch
G

tweeting turkey...

After listening to my father spend an hour fixing oinking and mooing salt and pepper shakers, I realized me not reporting a Griswold holiday is a disservice. Therefore, I'll be tweeting another fun filled family holiday..my Twitter is cheetah_kittens. Follow me for some ol' fashioned family fun...

Gina 2.0

Here I am on the lovely Amtrak again. Most people reflect on the year around New Years, but as Schmeffster pointed out recently, I always seem to find myself laid up around this time of year.

This year is no different. I’m three days away from laser eye surgery… and starting to get a bit freaked out. But a few years ago the running joke was that between me and the medical establishment we were working to rebuild me and make me stronger. Has it worked? Jury is still out on that. But, I’m super glad that on this particular weekend of this year, I’m nowhere near where I was last year. It’s been a roller coaster ride to the fullest… I keep waiting to hop on the Merry Go Round, yet that still doesn’t seem to be in the cards for me.

I’m looking forward to getting off this train and going back to my Jersey roots for the next week or two. Hearing the voices of my friends who say with sincerity and delight, “yay, you’re home”. I may be getting older, but those moments never get old.

Despite having some time on my hands, sounds like I won’t be able to do much in regards to seeing… so, not sure I’ll be able to give you the good, bad and ugly about my trip home.

So, I send you my best wishes for a happy, healthy Thanksgiving. Take a minute… really think about this year and everything it has brought you… even if it is just the wisdom to not make the same mistakes. But, I guarantee when you really look, you’ll see that there is beauty in all of what is thrown at you.

To those of you who I won’t be seeing, you’ll be in my thoughts. And to those of you I will, let’s get this party started.

Much love always,
G

The Show Must Go On...

I'm still heart broken from the summer. Yes, I have issues, but, once I get my hopes up, I get crushed pretty easily.

Alas, the show must go on, and dating must recommence.

To kick off my re-entry into dating life, I decided after 3 strikes from my tech geek fetish, I'd go back to my eclectic career boy choices.

That's right, this week I went on a date with a doctor. Not just any type of doctor, but a doctor of leisure studies. Yes, its a real thing...and no, I didn't believe it either. In fact, I felt like a failure for not finding out about this lovely career choice until now. I would've easily endured 8 years of school if I knew I could do my discertation on windsurfing.

So, the good doctor and I went out for some leisure time over margaritas. I even ventured to Southeast DC to a mexican place that has an entree called Gina's Plate. The doctor ordered me off the menu, and I ordered tuna tacos. There's a joke in there somewhere but I'll let the immature boys giggle in silence.

And, yep, that's about the most exciting part of my date. Nice guy, though. We talked for awhile and had fun. Just ya know, not lightening striking, head over heels stuff.

Ah well. There's always my senior citizen crossing guard.

Smooches,
G

What I Did On My Vacation…

My trips to Jersey have been few and far between and “vacation” has been even further. When people hear I’m in Jersey, I’m usually asked why I didn’t visit. As of late my life is rarely my own, which is growing increasingly frustrating. I’m sure you parents know what I’m talking about… by the time you’re finished working or caretaking, you have little time to do what you want to do. Some of you find this hard to believe, given that I’m not in a relationship; don’t have kids or pets with the exception of some plants that I’m managing to slowly kill off. Well, don’t going playing ‘Freebird’ just yet, kids. Believe or not, my life can be just as busy as those of you who juggle the American Dream.

The past few days are a perfect case in point. I was in Jersey going for my eye testing as I prepare to have laser eye surgery. Once again this started with a perfectly planned 1 ½ vacation days. Then I got sick and therefore behind at work, which ended that exciting 12 hours of freedom. I wasn’t the only one sick either. My niece came down with the swine flu, which sent my parents down here and me on my way to Jersey without transportation for my eye doc appointment which had me dilated for nearly two days. Thankfully, my sister jumped in and saved the day. Almost. She was late picking me up at the train station and again at the eye doctor. The technician actually sat with me in the vestibule as I waited like a kid whose parents forgot to get them at school. But alas, comes with the territory for me, so I took it in stride.

I wasn’t intending to be in Jersey this whole weekend, but I couldn’t bare the thought of poor Lucky the Wonder Dog spending a week in the kennel, so I cancelled my plans to dog sit. And of course, a horrible comedy of errors and issues unfolded.

My sister picked up Lucky while I was at the eye doc. When she finally arrived at the eye doc, she warned me that Lucky seemed to be itching a bunch and could potentially have fleas. Lucky is usually pretty maintained given her long golden fur, so I thought that maybe my sister was exaggerating a bit. When I got home, I could barely see with my blurry dilated vision, but Lucky was going bananas. She was hyper and itching like crazy. I tried to check her skin and saw some black spots that didn’t seem to be fleas, but I really couldn’t see, so I decided to take her to the vet.

I was trying to work from home the next morning, but between Lucky still freaking out and my dilated vision (yes, I was dilated for nearly 36 hours), it just wasn’t working out. I enlisted the help of my sister to take Lucky to the vet. Lucky is terrified of cars, so I didn’t want my inhibited vision to make things worse.

We finally get in to the doctor and the technician takes a look at her, then looks at me and my sister in sheer horror. She pulls out a brush and takes a bunch of hair. She says, “Lucky is infested” and rushes out to get the doctor. They both come in and give us a look like we should be on an episode of Animal Cops.

Now, for those of you who don’t know, I am a dog lover… to the point where I’ll admit, I’m sort of a freak. I love dogs – I think they are a model of how people should be. Ridiculously friendly, loyal, always happy to see you. I try to model that behavior. I even stopped supporting the Eagles when they hired the dog killer. So, to be looked at like I’m a dog abuser left me irrationally upset.

Realizing I have no clue what to do with a flea infested dog, I ask the vet to give me the course of action. They said get her a bath… which they refused to do on site. I refused to leave the room until I had an appointment somewhere, so the doctor made the call and got us in to Petsmart within the hour.

I race my sister back to her place and then head over to the Petsmart with 8 minutes to go until the appointment. I drag Lucky out of the car and into Petsmart. As we enter the grooming area, she gave me a look like Sean Penn in Dead Man Walking. I tried to calm her nerves, but she didn’t seem too excited and neither did the poor Cocker Spaniel being shaved to the bone.

After waiting for 10 minutes for the groomer to look up, I’m told I was at the wrong Petsmart, they gave me the wrong address. Great. I fly down the highway in rush hour traffic, still blinded by the light and with a terrified Lucky, to the next Petsmart late for our appointment. But, these people seemed pretty nice and took Lucky in.

Lucky seemed better after the whole extravaganza. When I picked her up, she had a mixed expression of relief and sheer exhaustion. I felt so bad for all she had been through, that I went on a shopping spree at Petsmart buying her a new fashionable collar, a big treat and some Halloween squeaky toys. After all, this is my day off, someone should get something out of this.

Now the real fun begins. When your dog has fleas, you need to rip apart your entire house and clean like someone with OCD. My sister graciously came over to help with the process. Together, we scoured the joint and did upwards of 6 loads of laundry all before midnight. I take the last of my energy and scrub myself down in the shower, in the event any of the nasty blood suckers got on me. Around 12:30 am, I sunk down into my bed and watched an exhausted dog sleep.

No, it may not be juggling multiple kids… but after working way too many hours for way too many weeks, all I really needed was a break, which I really didn’t anticipate as becoming my parents’ maid and their dog’s caregiver.

So, you see kids, this is why it doesn’t pay for me to take vacation. And also why when I do get the rare chance to come to Jersey, I rarely get to see anyone. Because my life is living proof that no good deed goes unpunished.

Any vacation on the horizon? Well, yes, I will be up to get my eye surgery at the end of November. Yes, the only vacation I have planned will leave me with the inability to see. Good times!

I really do miss you all and hope to eventually see you. Fingers crossed when you do see me, I’ll be glasses free.

Smooch,
G

We Know You Too Well, G

Here’s a perfect work example of when people have known me for too long. For your viewing pleasure, this is a conversation that transpired while editing an e-newsletter.

G: The policies of tomorrow must reflect the progress of today. And we continue to grow closer.
Co-Worker: I just noticed you snuck in the closer line
Co-Worker: I’m not giving you that line… just the policies one
G: I know, I know
Co-Worker: the 2nd line sounds like a journey song
G: I just spit water… thanks for that
Co-Worker: no problem


If only everyone knew me as well...

As for me: I've been sick. I've been tired. Overworked, underpaid... and facing more drama than Days of Our Lives. So therefore, offline.

Love,
G

Pondering Becoming Rasta...

]I'm digging reggae way too much these days, so I decided to check out what it would take to become Rasta. I don't really qualify... but if you see me with dreads and saying 'ya mon'... don't ask questions.

It's 11 pm, and I just finished working for the day... that may have something to do with it.

Peace, mon...
G

Calgon, Take Me Away

I’m still blue, but thankfully work keeps me very busy. I had some classic G moments this week including the loss of my contact lens which finalized my decision to go through with laser eye surgery. No, not Lasik, because of all things my corneas are too thin to have the easy procedure. Instead I’m going through a surgical procedure that takes over 3 months to complete and is one eye at a time. Why you ask? Well, it really has been a goal of mine to be able to wake up one day and see. And to do things like go swimming that I can’t really do.

Anyway, that same day, I also took a nice face plant to the floor in front of my whole office, literally tripping over my own two feet…still nursing that large bruise. And then, on Friday, I was so tired I walked into Starbucks and nearly toppled an entire Via display. I highly suggest you stroll through a ‘Bucks so you can see how large these displays are and the sheer impossibility of missing one.

Yes, folks, I need a vacation, but it looks like isn’t happening until March when I make my trip out West to Vegas. The good news is that I’ll be in Jersey on a more regular basis over the next three months while I go through this eye surgery. The downside is that I won’t be able to see and more than likely unable to drive, so sorry folks up north.

I’ve been listening to reggae to pacify my urge to run to the border, change my name and identity and not look back. Just kidding, well not really, but you know I’d miss you all too much. And let’s face it, me, incognito? Yea… right.

Hope you all are staying warm and dry on this crappy weather weekend.

Smooch,
G

Sad Songs and Waltzes...

Seems I'm in a bit of a broken-hearted mood the past few days. What can I say... karma and payback are both bitches. So here are my two new favorite sad songs:

Have a Little Faith - Michael Franti
I know it's hard when you're down
and the bad times seem to follow you around
and they got no reason to show
Don't let it go, oh no
and when it's 3 in the morn
and you've told your whole life story to a telephone
and the radio's the only thing to let you know
You're not alone, oh no

Just have a little faith in me
I'll have a little faith in you
So have a little faith in me
Don't let it go, oh no
And I wish I was there
Just to run my own fingers through your worries and cares
Even though I fumble and fall
Don't let it go, oh no

and when the rain falls down
You know the flower's gonna bloom
and when the hard times come
You know the teacher's in the room
and when the sun comes up
You know that I'll be there for you

Don't let it go, oh no
Just have a little faith in me
I'll have a little faith in you
Uh huh
So have a little faith in me
Don't let it go, oh no

Just have a little faith in me
Uh huh
I'll have a little faith in you
So have a little faith in me
Don't let it go

Just be strong for me
I'll be strong for you

Don't let it go

Say it to Me Now - Glen Hansard
I'm scratching at the surface now
And I'm trying hard to work it out
So much has gone misunderstood
This mystery only leads to doubt
And I didn't understand
When you reached out to take my hand
And if you have something to say
You'd better say it now

Cause this is what you've waited for
Your chance to even up the score
And as these shadows fall on me now
I will somehow

Cause this is what you've waited for
A chance to even up the score
And as these shadows fall on me now
I will somehow

Cause I'm picking up a message Lord
And I'm closer than I've ever been before

So if you have something to say
Say it to me now

Happy (belated) Birthday Schmeffy!

I'm a few days late in reporting that Schmeffy turned 33 - the age that JC died. As luck would have it, I was actually in the same city as him for his birthday. Unfortunately, we couldn't see each other because of our fun adult duties - his as a dad, mine as a workaholic. Coincidentally though, both of our days ended with a bottle.

But, in these crazy days, it made me realize again, you just have to appreciate every minute you get with the peeps you love.

I finally saw a handful of you not too long ago. I used to see you guys monthly, now I'm up to 6 months and many, many more on my long list. I wish we all had matching schedules and infinite time, but those days are long gone. I realized that as Gretchen and Nicole caught up for the first time in 2 years. As we looked through our old yearbooks and laughed about the old days...we just had so much time. Where did it all go?

Ah well, I hope everyone is well.

Love
G

Tragic, yet Humorous

So, here's a lil' known fact. For the past 2 months, I was dating a somewhat truly amazing dude. A dude, with issues, but a truly good heart, nonetheless. Its now over, because I half broke it off and half destroyed any chance of making it ok, in a monumentally stupid way.

At any rate, G in a relationship means less blog time... So, dear readers, we're back to the sex and the city adventures.

For now.

Smooch,
G

PS - this is in no way to make light of how truly devestated I am, and have been. This has been a rather big heartbreak, but, as always - I have to move onward and upward.

My Hero Chronicles

Hi all -

Welcome from sick bay. I've been home the last few days, but seem to be doing better now. Funny thing, working like a crazy person runs you down. Who knew?

So, my Schmeff as a New Daddy post got me thinking. When I was a kid, I always hated the question "Who's Your Hero?"... because everyone would always give answers like Superman, the Eagles or Elvis. All of which are great, but my heroes never seemed to match the typical answer. In fact, most of the time I said I had no heroes, but that's just not true.

My heroes are the people that I surround myself with... my friends and my family. I think each of you are a superhero in your own right. So, I've decided that, I'm going to do my best to write a little bit about each of you. Obviously, this will take time - so if you don't see your post right away, doesn't mean I haven't thought about you!

For today, I'm going to start with an obvious one... my grandmother. Why? Well, because I'm multitasking here and have already written something awhile back for my niece. But also because if there is one person who I still try to do right by, even though she's not here, it's her.

So - I hope you enjoy this accounting of my first hero, as I wrote it to my niece.

To my niece,

Mommy and Daddy asked if I would write to tell you something about your great grandmother. She was a very special lady and your daddy and all of us loved her a lot. There were many amazing things about her to choose from, one of them was her never ending strength and endurance.

She was a hard worker who never stopped, working until she was 85 years old. She loved to teach and taught people how to read and speak English. She couldn’t sit still and refused to be “old”, so she decided to get a job at WalMart when she was in her 80s. Grandma also raised your Grandfather all by herself. She took care of all of us when our parents were working or just when we needed taking care of.

Grandma’s opinions were steadfast and strong. You always knew how she felt about everything, for better or for worse. Grandma always stood up for what she believed in or what you believed in. She fought relentlessly if she found it necessary.

Her opinions were very progressive; she was always open and up-to-date on things in the world. She was someone you could talk about everything with, and on many occasions I did just that. She never grew tired of talking to me.

Grandma and Poppy (as we called them) loved to have fun. They were famous for trips to the casinos in Atlantic City. And while she may have taught us how to count by playing cards, she also took the time to teach us how to read, too.

When we were young they would have “happy hour”, which meant, everyone gathered around the kitchen table to eat chips and play cards. It was always a good time.

Grandma was also an amazing cook. She was famous for her stuffed mushrooms, meatballs, rice pudding and soups (especially split pea). Grandma insisted that people were always hungry… if she caught you yawning; it meant you weren’t being fed.

She loved fashion… she had a closet full of fabulous dresses, purses and shoes. I spent a lot of time playing dress up in there. She was an avid reader; her house was piled with books. Both Grandma and Poppy were addicted to certain TV shows including: Wheel of Fortune and soap operas like Santa Barbara during the day and Dallas and Falcon Crest at night.

Grandma was also very afraid of dogs… but despite her fear, she eventually became friends with our dog, Rocky, even gaining the courage to pet him on his head at one point. After many years of trying, Rocky was so happy he had won her over, he spent the entire day on cloud 9.

There is a lot you can say about your great grandmother. But if you learn one thing from this short letter, it should be that everything that was inside her is now a part of you. You’ll find strength when you need it and have the ability for unlimited love in your heart.

Most importantly, when you can’t seem to feel or see any of these things, you have your family around you to show you the way.

I love you,
Gina

48 Hours of Good Vibes

Hi all-

So, its nearly game day for me. I need a grand slam here, so I'm enlisting you all for help.

If you can send me good vibes, prayers... Whatever you do, I need it all.

And then, win or lose, I will finally get some time to get home.

Smooch!
-g

Daily Musings...

I guess I missed the memo that it was summer. But some tidbits being that I'm stuck in town this weekend with no beach in sight:

My Crossing Guard is back! And he was delighted to see me. Always good to have my morning start with "Hello, Young Lady!"...

Two of my cashiers at my liquor store got into a fight over me. I bought Seagrams 7 and a bottle of Diet Coke. The one guy said "you're doing this all wrong, you need 7-Up for a 7&7". My regular guy said "Gina, is doing exactly what she wants. As always."

How true is that?!

Well, I hope you all are enjoying the long weekend. I will be working tomorrow and Monday.

Jealous, much?
-G

Batting 1000..

I'm a terrible liar, which is no shock to those of you who know me. So, one of my greatest concerns when my friends started having children was that they would be unattractive. Happy that I'm batting 1000 and all these kids are absolutely adorable. Here's the latest to that mix, the still unnamed Baby Drury:

happy Birthday Part Deux

Looks like Missy is sharing a birthday today. In true Schmeff fashion, his child took the term "Labor Day" literally and decided to show up early.

Now, we all have our fun teasing the Schmeffster, but I have to tell you that despite the fact that I know he's probably worrying like crazy about becoming a parent, I know without a doubt that Schmeff will be an amazing father.

Why?

Well, let's start with me. I think its no secret that I can easily have the mentality of a kid. In fact, thanks to the gazillion lil' ones my friends have created over the past few years, I often relate more to the kids than the adults.

Schmeff indulged this throughout our 6 years as roommates. Whether it was going to the circus or acknowledging Baxter as a real dog, he not only humored me, but actually seemed to enjoy it.

He's also a natural born protector, though he doesn't know it. On 9/11, who walked 40 city blocks to come rescue me? That would be Schmeff. Who carried me through the Hoboken terminial during the bomb threat? Who used a hand pumping generator to get my car off a lift during the 2003 blackout so I could make my brothers wedding? And when I was falsely abducted, who turned up in the police terminal covered in sweat from jumping subway turnstiles. All him, friends.

Schmeff also loves Christmas, though he won't admit it. And (thanks to me), he knows how to pick the biggest and best tree in the lot.

Of course, Schmeff's overactive imagination and his theories of efficient midgets will make him a legend in the minds of his kids.

He is a strong advocate he refuses to let people quit. No matter how many times I have wanted to, Schmeff made me believe I can do what I do. And that I'm good at it.

While he's a big baby when he's sick, he's also a caretaker. No one else had to endure Utie quite as much as Schmeff. So whether it was making me grilled cheese or sneaking out to bring home a Christmas tree, he was born to make folks happy.

So, while we'll all get a great laugh as he becomes an expert in the technical stuff - diapers, milk, etc. This guy has what it takes to be among the great dads that I've come to know and love.

Its with great love and best wishes that I'm happy to announce Baby Boy (name TBD) Drury. I welcome you to a world filled with love from Schmeff's extensive circle of friends. You will never be alone here.

My love to all and smooches,
Auntie G

Happy Birthday!

To my dear friend, Missy... I'm a few hours early, but at the rate I'm going at work, it's better than a few days late.

Smooches all around. Seven more days until some of this craziness subsides and I can take a moment to breathe.

Love,
G

My Issue with Sex and the City

‘Ello Readers –

I’ll admit it. I never really watched SATC. I tried to, but the more I watched, the more I realized that I just didn’t fit the characters. I’ve never considered myself Samantha, the high power PR executive with a side order of nympho, although, I can see where she’s coming from. I definitely wasn’t Carrie – I never pined away for some lost relationship, although, there is the writer in me. I may be head strong and forthright like Miranda, but, I don’t consider myself as rigid. And I don’t think I relate to Charlotte with her desperation to find the perfect husband, but I share her need for a happy ending.

While I find the show fun, I just never grew the obsession that most women have.

The truth is, as close as I get to the answers and things I thought I wanted, I usually find out, I really didn’t want them. My hat goes off to you folks in relationships. They are truly hard work. Not that I ever underestimated it before, but at the same time, the grass is always greener. Some of you have emailed me that you wished for the freedom I have and in turn, I always sighed and thought you were crazy to not love what you got.

Yet, I’m more confused than ever. I feel like I’m close to something I want, but maybe it’s just too late. I’ve never understood why men date crazy women (PS – this is a mass generalization, think about it )… and here’s a secret: men LOVE drama and they love being told what to do. They crave it and resist it all in the same breath. We can all agree that I have enough drama just being me, and attempting to manifest additional drama, is just a lot of work. I already work too much.

I’m not about rules – making them or having them dictated to me. I will not tell you what you can wear or how you should look. I will not tell you that you can’t stay out late, go to strip clubs or see your friends. I won’t tell you what you should do with your life. Why? Because I don’t want anyone to do that to me. My life is far from perfect, but you know what, I haven’t done all that bad. And, frankly, I love the freedom to see my friends when I want to see them. I love the ability to lie in my bed and do nothing if I deem it so. I will not wait for you to call and I will make other plans, because I have too many people in this world I love and don't get to spend nearly enough time with... so if I have a spare moment, I will race to see them.

I will not be silent and speak when directed. Good luck trying to get that to work for you. I may be from an Italian household, where there was an attempt to instill the need to care for men. But, truth be told, my father was capable of and did everything my mother did. And in some cases, more so – which is not a slight to my mother, but more a nod that he was just as capable and they could share.

Maybe that’s the key word. Sharing. That’s what I want to do. And sometimes it sucks to do it. I think that’s called compromise. I’m willing to do both of those things… and I’m willing to understand that I may not do them right the first time. But, I refuse to feel bad about learning the ropes.

I guess this paints a very dim picture of me. I mean, where’s the up sell? What do you get with me? A valid question. I guess it’s a very lovable gal who loves to have fun all the time. One who is fiercely loyal and overly protective. One who possesses the ability to laugh at the small things, yet not underestimate the importance of nuances for they make all the differences. I see things differently than most – I always have. It’s a blessing and a curse.

And whether I like it or not, I am who I am. I work even harder than I play. There is an expectation for me to continue to do so. And couple that with my inability to let people down and you have a very driven, and ok, I’ll say, relatively successful woman. I’m overly dedicated to the people who I spend the most time with on any given day. I refuse to let them down. Unless someone can support me to do something different, it just won’t happen.

So, I guess, if hard pressed, maybe I am Samantha. Maybe I do realize that I’ve been in this relationship with myself for 33 long years… and it’s the one I still need to work on the most.

Its way too soon to tell. But as they would say in any other sitcom….

To Be Continued…

Smooches!
-G

hits Keep On Coming

Ah, yes. I was just in a car accident with my family. In a car my brother borrowed so I could have a new mattress. It truly never ends this summer.

Yes- we're all ok. Minus me who has back pain because I wasn't wearing a belt in the back of an F-250.

Wtf, universe?! Wtf.

I concur.

The Money Pit

Some of you are starting to learn a secret I found out a few years ago... everyone that tells you that you need to become a homeowner just wants you to endure the pain of being a grown up. Fortunately, I was slightly smarter and bought in a big building, so I don't have to handle all of life's little joys on my own. But some of you newbies are really getting put through the ringer, so I extend my sympathies in my most favorite way... the Schmeffster.

That's right, for you folks that don't know... Schmeff took a Greg Louganis worthy dive into the land of grown up recently. Not only did he just buy his first big boy house, he's also expecting his first BABY in just a few short weeks. So much for little steppin. :-)

While his new adventures in home ownership and repair are amusing, I must say, this boy has come a long way and its a little hard to believe that this is the same Schmeff who convinced me I had to buy a new vacuum because the bag needed to be changed. Also the same Schmeff who said that you don't need to actually unpack drawers when movers come, because they just lift the whole piece of furniture down a 3-floor walk up. And, the same one who when I accidentally locked myself IN my place while changing the locks, gave me a lecture on the value of calling a locksmith to do such hard work.

But beyond his new grown-up life, my favorite part of the rapidly aging Schmeff is that I've finally worn him down about posting our conversations, so you all reap the benefits of his humor. I give you, "Adventures In Home Repair -- Day One" a conversation between Schmeffy and G:

Schmeff: Home owning is hard work.
G: I can only imagine b/c i know my lil' place is hard.
Schmeff: YOU DONT HAVE TO MOW THE LAWN! It was tough.
G: How big is the lawn?
Schmeff: First off, my environmental side....I decided to get an electric one, but the battery powered ones die, so I went corded.
G: Did you ask Schmotty what to buy?
Schmeff: Uh, no...cauz I knew he would make fun of me about electric...
G: oh
Schmeff: Anyway...it’s a little tough cauz you have to hop the cord a bit, but its ok.
G: So you didn't mow the cord, right?
Schmeff: No.
G: You should develop allergies. It worked for my brother
Schmeff: But the problem is, it’s not terribly strong. I had to mow it twice, cauz it was so high. So, it took twice as long as it should.
G: Yikes. You didn't even mow your mom's lawn.
Schmeff: I know...
G: You're really a grown up now.
Schmeff: This is much smaller than hers though. And then came the weed wacker....
G: I am impressed! Weed wacker, too?!... I sorta have this visual now...doing work and The Money Pit theme song is in the distance… “we're sittin' on a dream”..
Schmeff: Apparently...the spinning of the weed wacker kinda causes some trouble, you gotta be careful about it. I haven’t picked one of these things up since like freshman year of high school...if you don’t keep it perfectly level with the ground...it burrows… sucks itself right to the ground...so now I have like 30 divots in my lawn.
G: Oh, nooo. I may pee my pantalones.
Schmeff: Well, that wasn’t The Money Pit moment though...
G: Oh Jesus. There’s more?!
Schmeff: Covered in sweat…and dirt, from mowing, weed wacking...raking the large amount of grass...and sweeping it all off the neighbors driveway...I go to take a shower...
G: NOOOOOO
Schmeff: Well, I was in a hurry...so I turned the water on and hopped in...The cold was good....at the start at least...but it never got hot...
G: Crikey
Schmeff: And then, for some reason...they had a water softener. And soft water, sucks.
G: Softener?
Schmeff: Yeah, I don’t know... it’s this big canister, that all your water goes through...and it has a lot of salt in it...
G: Oh sweet Jesus
Schmeff: So, what it does, is make your water slimy.
G: Ew
Schmeff: Ok.., so I’m in the drooling cold water. And soaping myself...and I keep getting more and more slippery. It feels like you are washing with moisturizer.
G: Mhmm
Schmeff: So, but then it gets on your feet.
G: Oh god…
Schmeff: Almost, but I’m ok.
G: What broke your fall? The soap dish holder? It didn't come out of the wall did it?
Schmeff: No, I caught myself. So...that was Saturday...
G: Impressive!
Schmeff: and then came Sunday...

Oh, there's more, kids... but, all in good time. Hope you enjoyed this tale and Schmeffy, thanks for letting me post.

Smooch,
G

Birthday Shout Outs

Happy, happy birthdays to my August babes - Daniela, Gretchen and Kerri. Hope you all have and had the happiest of bdays.

Life keeps chugging along (maybe that's me chugging and life or the walls are spinnin'). Things are a balance of chaos - good and bad all mixed together.

But here's hoping for fairy tale endings with rainbows.

My love to all.
-G

time flies

Even when you're not having fun. Sadly, en route home. This time though for a funeral.

I really did have plans to see all my Jersey peeps this summer, spend some quality time and such... But doesn't seem like its in the cards.

Miss you much.

Love
G

It Takes a Village

To support me and I'm lucky enough to have a virtual city of folks who champion this task... From all over the country. And when I have doubts and when I simply can't go on, this city comes out of nowhere - picks me up, dusts me off and kicks me in the ass.

"You have this, G. You're a superstar."

Well, I don't know about all that. I think the superstars are you all, behind the scenes, giving me the push into the spotlight, while I prefer to skulk behind the scenes.

There are no words that truly express what you people do. Thanks isn't enough... A kidney may work but not sure you want one. All I got is a lifetime of love and the hope/promise that I can do the same.

I'll keep working on it. Meantime, I'm going Gloria Gaynor and kicking ass, taking names.

Will be in touch in a few days (off to a biz trip).

My love,
G

I like my horoscope today...

A recent chat with a dear one has left you wearing a big ol' smile -- and from all indications, it's going to keep you smiling all weekend. Hey, you've earned the right to be happy. The past couple of weeks have been 'interesting,' one might say, but you managed to keep your chin up, stay chipper and even help get others out of the moods they were in. Now enjoy your heavenly rewards.

When Getting Old is No Longer Funny

I just found a gray hair... No 3 of them! Seriously, I can justify lite FM because of the poor music from this generation, but gray hair - that is SO not cool.

Sigh,
G

Me at 33

It's my birthday today. After a very long week of "vacation", don't have much to say.

Just hope that Mick and his pals are right -- "if you try some times, you get what you need".

Many, many thanks to those of you who helped me survive the week.

Much love,
G

:-)

I'm in a surprisingly good and positive mood today - could be the wonderfully fresh and delish watermelon and peach daiquiris from Larry and Dwayne. But, my Starbucks didn't have a line. This means one of two things: 1) I'm getting even better a taking a lickin' and keep on tickin' or 2) the calm before the storm.

Take your bets and I'll keep you posted. Oh, and by the way, my new book is called "DoucheBags for Dummies: A Guide to Dating"... apparently that Dummy series is pretty popular and I'm pretty sure I can do the world some good with chapters such as:

1) Dating and the Google: the Ultimate Way to Find Out if your D-Bag is Married
2) The Great Escape: Emergency Exit Strategies
3) Standards: Lower than a Limbo Bar

I will leave you with a brillant Facebook Status that I just read: Evil is making the premeditated choice to be a dick. I think that is actually the Preface to D-Bags for Dummies.

Have a great and wonderful day, all...

Smooches,
G

The Neck Sucker and the Stalker

Two quickies seeing as I have to keep my mind off all of life's fun dramas:

The Neck Sucker
A few weeks ago, I was at this emergency happy hour with some coworkers. As I was waiting from them by the door to leave, this guy walks into the bar, grabs me into a hug and starts kissing my neck. He was pretty cute despite being attached to my neck like Dracula, so I push him off politely and say "how are you tonight?".

His response: "I was better until you pushed me off."

Is making out with my neck a turn on? I think not.

The Stalker
I pick up the main line at work and someone asks for me. I say, "you got her"... he proceeds to tell me his name is Maurice, that he was in the office delivering for Peapod, saw me, thought I was gorgeous and wanted to take me out. I say thank you but I have a boyfriend (all lies, of course, considering I'm as free as a bird).

Would this be creepy? Nah, not really... except for the fact that we haven't had a Peapod delivery in my office since January... and no one has delivered groceries to my place since March.

So, yep... a stalker. Everyone needs at least one - and the driver from a couple years ago finally gave up.

Ah, GBAS and Boytardness...

Are two things this gal can count on... And here's an update: My only identifiable purpose on this planet is to serve as a comedic folly. I could actually be the human version of those Fail pics that people love so much.

If you really want to know why - contact me, its just not worth writing about. As always, the truly efficient person I am, I'm 12 days ahead of GBAS which means the fun is only starting.

How I Discovered that I'm Old

Things are crazy, literally and figuratively. So, sorry that I haven't been writing. But with a spare moment on Former Roomie's porch, I wanted to say hello. With GBAS (Gina's Birthday Always Sucks) rapidly approaching, I thought this would be a good story.

A few weeks ago, I was having a bad day. Fortunately, I was at my beloved Jersey Shore and there is one place I can always count on... Where everybody knows my name and they're always glad I came -- Casa de Ranieri el Mar (that's spanish for the Ranieri's beach house).

As I geared up in the SnoKat to make the 15 mile drive, I turned on the radio. It was a good set of tunes, so I turned the radio up, the windows down and I was in a full G jam.

I arrived in the hot spot of Sea Isle City - you South Jersey folk know what I mean- where all the college kids are hanging out and drinking. I'm feeling pretty cool, jamming in the world's ugliest car.

And then it happens.

The song ends and the radio blares "you're listening to lite FM".

Kids crossing the street turn and look at the car with the blaring radio. Lite FM! Lite FM!! WTF!

I immediately turn down the music, roll up the windows and proceed to stop at the next available parking spot to take in the fact that I just jammed to Lite FM.

I'm old, kids. I am old.

Hope all is well! Miss and love ya.

Smooch-
G

4.9

The number of miles every day I'm walking to and from work because the Metro is facing hour plus delays. Wouldn't care if it wasn't a hot n' humid 85+ out there. The best part is I'm always on the sunny side of the street - ah karma. I wanted the sun and a job that I could walk to and by a twist of fate I have both. Careful what you wish for!

Smooch-
G

Thank You!

So deeply touched and thankful for you all for checking to see if I was ok. I was flooded with emails, calls and texts. Yes, I take the red line every day. If I was still at my old job, that would’ve been my exact train. But fortunately, in this place, I’ve never seen 5 pm on the train… so you could say, being a workaholic saved my life. :-)

Seriously – thanks… really is nice to feel so loved.

Hope all is well!

Smooch-
G

I'm Ok

Thanks all for worrying. Yes, that is the same line I take everyday. But, thankfully I'm never out at 5.

Hope all is well.

Love,
G

Things I'm grateful for...

That my trip to Vegas did not totally resemble the movie, The Hangover... But came close enough to never do again.

Run, don't walk, to see it. Hysterical.

Why I Should (but never will) Have My Own Reality Show

I know what you’re thinking… G, how do you get yourself into these messes? Or my favorite: G, if I didn’t know you, I’d never believe you were telling the truth.

True and valid points. Yes, I would probably make a killing if I had my own reality show, especially whenever I went home to visit my family. Just the sheer madness alone would make me a fortune. But there are other reasons, that while amusing, I couldn’t have one…

G getting dressed. It’s a spectacle and further proves my theory that I belong in a zoo equipped with a helmet and a pack of crayons. Take this morning, when I nearly choked myself to death with my bra. Nothing makes you feel more talented then being trapped in a brazier feeling like Chris Farley in his “fat guy in a little coat” routine. Today, is just one example. There are numerous times I've been in dressing rooms trapped. This probably explains my addiction to online shopping - if I'm going to make an ass out of myself, at least I can do it in the privacy of my own home. Of course, as I started to lose oxygen this morning, I realized if I did die, it would just be par for the course in my accident-prone existence.

G on health. A bunch of people I work with right now are sick. Yesterday, I could really feel the symptoms coming on… dry throat, pain in ear, coughing. How did I solve this problem? Mimosas. That’s right – I figured that the champagne equated to the alcohol I’d have in Nyquil, and of course, the OJ added the beneficial Vitamin C. And this morning after a good night's sleep, I woke up symptom free. This great idea comes from many family "recipes" for various illnesses. My grandmother used to give me Doritos for a sore throat; my parents loved to give me Jack Daniels, honey and milk for a cough and my mother is convinced that soft serve vanilla ice cream cures an ailing stomach.

And this is just the tip of the iceberg....

Smooches,
G

Here Comes Trouble...

I sacrificed my beloved Jersey Shore so the folks up north could enjoy the weather. But that doesn't mean that I'm not going to get into some trouble. Always one to keep me amused, my beloved travel partner, Nicole, will be coming down here tomorrow and plans to "go on a bender". Hearing her battle cry, I have made arrangements for a drag queen brunch and a cocktail party. I also bought the essentials: rum, champagne, limes, mint and a box of Wheat Thins. Because hey, a girl's gotta eat.

Stories to come. In the meantime, I would strongly suggest everyone turns off their phones tomorrow night. Chance of drunk texting or dialing is about 75%.

Smooches-
G

Stop Me If You've Heard This One...

G says the Universe sends her signals and for the most part just likes to mess with her.

Sure - I say it often, but I usually have some convincing proof. Yesterday was no different. I started off in a great mood, the office was closing at 3 and I was off to play some 'bee with B around 4. So, I grabbed lunch at my favorite Mexican place. About a half hour after lunch I immediately had the same feeling I had after I ate Taco Bell for Scoot's birthday a few months ago. The difference was that I was at work. Realizing that the party in my pants wasn't going to end anytime soon, I skeedaddled an hour early to work from home and try to get some tummy medicine so I could salvage playing frisbee later in the day.

I walk in the door, log on to my computer and of course, check my horoscope.

What does it say?? "There are a few things you must get out of your system before you can start again."

Seriously - that was even more literal than usual. And why am I telling a gross out story about my lower intestine. Today's horoscope: "You've done something worth noting, so let the people who love you know about it!"

I hope the Jersey folks are enjoying the shore. I made the sacrifice of not coming up so the weather would remain nice for y'all.

Smooch -
G

things I'm not grateful for...

Cab drivers who drive worse than my sister. That's pretty hard to accomplish, but wow - just as easy to get motion sickness.

Things I'm grateful for...

Hello readers,

I've decided to add a section to my blog to capture the little things in life. So, here are a few things that made me smile this morning.

1. The crossing guard a few blocks up from my place that always says "Good morning, young lady" to me. Today, he actually walked over to me concerned because, thanks to my ridic work schedule, he hasn't seen me and was worried. Good to know that even though they may not know you, there are people watching out for you.

2. The fact that Sublime's Caress Me Down makes me smile and think about the Lord of the Dance at the Magni Christmas party.

3. Similarly, Get Out the Map by the Indigo Girls always makes me think of driving with Dee and listening to her half sing, half whisper the words.

What makes you smile?

Smooches,
G

Mommy Love

If there is one thing I've gotten good at throughout the years, its both appreciating the hardships of and diffusing the rage from my favorite pregnant friends. One in particular - my dear Melissa. As most of you know, Melissa and I spent 6 years together working approximately 6 feet apart. She is my brother from another mother. Our mind melt is so extreme that to this day its a little hard to figure out who invented what, instead of chicken and egg, its more what came out of whose mouth first, G or Melissa.

One area of our friendship contract requires the ability to provide inappropriate humor during times of stress. Not to be outdone by Dee's 3-day hospital induction, Ms. Melissa has been in and out of the hospital the past 2 weeks trying to have Skabich Baby #3. Though I'm no longer 6 feet apart, I've been doing my best to keep her sane through our new favorite mode of communication, Blackberry Messenger.

Yesterday's conversation was rather priceless, so I hope you all enjoy:

G: I feel like a side order of crazy today (Note: I was having yet another boy meltdown, not worth recounting here)
Melissa: Nice. I'm at Fred’s. (Note: Her doc)
G: How are you feeling?
Melissa: Anxious and tired. I can actually feel this baby getting bigger
G: Yikes
Melissa: I'm going to cry if he sends me home without a plan.
G: Ok - new plan. Earphones on your belly…playing the worst music ever.
Melissa: Charlotte Church?
G: We gotta smoke Evan out of there.
Melissa: Steeley Dan.
G: Sade? Ace of Base? I got it- Richard Marx!!!
Melissa: Induce Thursday.
G: Again?
Melissa: I'm dilating. He doubts I'll make it that long.
G: Richard Marx, “Endless Summer Nights”. That would even smoke Bin Laden out of a hole!
Melissa: Nice.
G: And now it’s in my head. If I was there, I'd just sing to him. I'm glad you love me, even though I'm from crazy stock.
Melissa: I dig crazy.
G: I should’ve been your birth partner this time around.
Melissa: I know.
G: Paul already did 2 of them. I could scream at the nurse for ya. Play Weezer bizzatch - we're pushing here!!!!
Melissa: I'm having some wild contractions right now. Good times. All I want to do is nap.
G: Did your water break?
Melissa: No. Just annoying non-consistent contractions.
G: Argh.
Melissa: For like 2 weeks now.
G: You know if I do this birthing thing... I may use my water breaking as an excuse to pee my pantalones.
Melissa: I pee myself at least twice a day.
G: I may pee my pants right now. Just to practice and in your honor.
Melissa: Do it.
G: See - that's how much I love you.
Melissa: All the cool kids pee their pants.
G: I know it. I'm farkin cracking up.
Melissa: Happy nappy time for me.
G: Have a good one.

Karma got me for this conversation. I'm now the proud owner of Richard Marx's Greatest Hits and still can't stop humming "And I remember how you loved me...time was all we had until the day you said goodbye."

Melissa: I hope you're reading this from the hospital ... but if not, I hope its enough to make you laugh.

Smooches-
G

Holy Hockey

My hockey date a few weeks ago may have been a dud - but now I'm sorta addicted to the sport. Ah - just what my neighbors need... another sport that makes me exercise my Sports Tourettes.

BTW - If anyone wants to teach me about this sport, that would be awesome. It may help if I could yell something knowledgable. Right now, all I'm shouting is "Come on, get your stick in there"... probably not the best thing to be shouting loudly when my neighbors can hear me.

Go Caps! (sorry NJ folks - I'm sure I would be a Flyers or Devils fan if I knew about this sport back in the day).

Smooches,
G

Me and My Pop

I hear that one of the favorite parts of my blog post are stories about me and my dad. So much so, that I've thought about starting a separate blog of just my interactions with my dad. But, since that would be devoting more time that I don't have, I'll just keep posting here. Despite his ongoing pleas for me to explain the differences between a blog, Facebook, YouTube and Twitter, my dad is pretty hip with the technology, he's a texter and emails regularly. One of the best ways for me to vent about work during the day is to shoot him a text.

Well, over the past week or so, I've been on this kick to prove to him that 1) paying for my college tuition has paid off and 2) that I was neglected as a child.

Here are some interactions to show what I mean.

On Investing in College:

Text #1

G: Making really good traction on the stuff we're working on down here. May even have a hearing that's covered by C-SPAN. See, I told you my college tuition is paying off and I didn't even need those "essential courses" like science and math.

Dad: When does your Witchcraft and Magic course pay off?

G: That class was false advertising. I thought I was learning a skill set, not the stupid history of women who were oppressed.

Dad: You took a class on stupid women?


Email #1

Subject: Further Proof

On your college ROI:

In addition to my account work, I'm now in charge of throwing a bachelorette party for my client on May 30.

Good thing I took "Food and Culture" and did my final paper on alcohol games.

Once again, further proof of your investment hard at work.

From the White House to the brew pub... I'm multi-talented. :)

And you thought those nights drinking were wasted.

Love ya-
G

No response, yet.

On proving my neglected childhood:

Dad sends an email about all the things that children from the 40s through the 70s lived without.

G: The only reason you're sending this is because I had a rusty old swing set.

Dad: But you are a better person for having to deal with all that adversity!!

G: Hmph. Whatever you need to tell yourself to feel better about neglecting me as a child.

Dad: Damn...Where's my violin???

G: Oh, just rub it in. Didn't have one of those as a kid, either. *sigh*

Dad: You had a PIANO!!

G: Don't even try it. Thank goodness for grandparents! And technically, it wasn't even mine. Not like I had a drum set laying around the house or anything. I did have a recorder, but I think the school provided that... Might as well have been a ward of the state. Of course, you couldve pulled the puppy card. :-). At least I got one of those...

Dad: See ...I knew we did something right!!

I wonder where I get my sarcasm and wit from?? Maybe I should run a DNA test?

Smooches -

G

My Life's Eternal Enigma - Boys.

Hola readers -

I thought most of you gave up on this blog, but I keep getting "why are you not blogging" emails...

Work has been crazy and my weekends have been full, but I will do my best to keep you updated.

So, let's talk boys. Last night I get a text message at 10 pm that says "I'm getting hammered with some friends. What are you up to?"

After taking a frisbee in the face and coming down from a ridiculous amount of work, I was just chillin' at home on a Saturday night, which is exactly what I report.

"Well - I'm heading into the city, so I could swing by if you want."

Hmmm... where have I heard this one before. Oh yes, that's right, Mr. February. Since I'm trying to learn from my mistakes and instantly grew irritated by the offer, I responded with a paraphrased version of the following:

Well, if you're looking for something "to do" in the city, I suggest you visit one of our many tourist attractions.

(Later, B provided an excellent addition to this: "If you're looking for an exciting ride, I highly suggest a cab ride through SouthEast".)

This didn't go over so well, as you can imagine... but hey, I was tired, cranky and frankly boys are gonna have to work a heck of a lot harder if they want to see me.

And as my horoscope says:
"If a certain someone's asking for a second chance, you'll think long and hard before granting it right now -- and if you do, it'll be on your terms. Good for you for refusing to make the same mistake twice."

Gotta love those smart moments!

Smooches!
-G

for a good time

Follow my easter holiday experience on twitter - gmangiaracina

Gone Fishing Again...

Well, folks - it would seem that Spring has sprung. Trees are in bloom, the weather is warming up and boys are in heat. Seriously. It seems that this is the weather that brings everyone out from the holes they dug themselves into... in fact, not one but 3 (that's right THREE) exes have been knockin' on my door - including Mr. February, who is persona non grata in my book.

But perhaps my favorite is the New Years Eve Dumper... who "accidentally" started following me on Twitter (which by the way, I'm not a twit and don't really 'tweet'). Funny - he also managed to "accidentally" add me as a Facebook friend and also email me. Turns out, the love of his life wasn't so lovely after all. I'm still getting the apologies... I made a big mistake, blah blah blah...

So, in the spirit of out with the old and in with the new I chose E) None of the above and went to my first NHL game today. Capitols V. Thrasers. Wow - hockey fans are no joke. People may have yelled at me to be quiet during a NASCAR race, but those folks put me to shame. A 50 year old woman literally threatened to beat up a 5 year old who accidentally kicked her chair... and I'm not talking "please stop" I'm talking getting out of her chair and going stomach to stomach with the kids dad who said "he's only 5"... Interesting and fun nonetheless... as for the date.. eh, well.. ya never can tell - but hey free tickets, that works just fine by me.

Will try to be better about bloggin' more as I also dig out from my hole.

Smooch -
G

Happy Belated Birthday Scoot…

I’m a week late in getting this post up in honor of your birthday – but in my defense, I did actually see you on your birthday this year, and learned an invaluable lesson about the GI benefits of Taco Bell, so I think that gives me a reasonable excuse.

Now Scoot, as you know, I dedicate this post to provide you worldly advice… ok, well, mostly advice if you were living in my world. Unfortunately, I’ve had my head buried in the sand for the majority of 2009, which is why I made the ultimate sacrifice and headed to Vegas so I would be able to have some perils of wisdom for you. So here it is, my top 10 list from Sin City:

1. Going to Vegas should be viewed as a similar process as the Olympics – it’s definitely something that you should only do every 4 years, as it probably takes that much off your life.
2. Booze is booze, no matter how you spin it and paying $10 or more per cocktail is highway robbery.
3. Bet with your head, not over it. I didn’t really get to experience the “over it” part because I was too busy paying for drinks.
4. Never tell someone from Jersey that there is such a thing as an “all you can drink champagne” brunch, especially when that person has been stimulating the economy with her bar tab for a week.
5. You may have had too many mimosas, when the waitress attempts to put OJ in your champagne glass and you shout “get that devil juice away from me”.
6. Always a bad idea to bring your Blackberry out when you’re in Vegas. Even worse when you have access to the global list serve for your entire company easily at hand and support from a bar full of people telling you that it would be a good idea to quit your job through an email to that list serve.
7. The only reason to do a shot of tequila after drinking at an “all you can drink champagne” buffet for three hours is so you can continue to stimulate the economy by buying a round for half the bar. This becomes slightly problematic when the hotel calls you the next day to let you know that you’ve exceeded the credit limit allotted to your room.
8. Never drunk dial your father – even if he does find it wildly amusing. Waking up to a voicemail that says “whatever you do, don’t call your mother in this condition” is bad.
9. Be careful when swimming in pools and doing flips – it causes your ears to clog and forces you to have numerous doctor appointments because you are so talented you’ve gotten water behind your ear drums.
10. Just because you see Cher in Vegas doesn’t make you a gay man or a straight woman. There were plenty of wildly uncomfortable husbands like you in the audience suffering through. Besides, if you’re half as pretty or half as active as Cher when you’re her age, you’ll be well on your way to living to 100.

Smooches,
G

Stay Tuned

For the Scoot birthday post - why things that happen in vegas are supposed to stay here.

Love your pal G who has several bruises and currently only hear out of one ear.

Once Upon A Time...

...there lived a princess who lived in our nation’s capital. She tried to be an ordinary princess who fit in with all the other royalty in town – making attempts to settle down with a prince and live in a smallish castle with a backyard and a puppy. Yet despite her efforts to be normal, she was “special” and received constant attention from the Universe and his friend, Karma.

Karma and the Universe love this Princess, but had a very funny way of showing it. Karma loved to tease the princess -- easily vaporizing prospective princes turning them into frogs, giving her various illnesses which she had to fight off and even tripping her on the sidewalk forcing her to walk like a court jester would when he was amusing the royals. One day, Karma even managed to have a rain cloud follow this princess, speckling a few drops just ahead and just behind her every movement.

Being good natured, the princess did her best to humor Karma and the Universe – but she was really starting to lose her patience. One day, she explained this to another princess who came from her homeland of Jersey. The Jersey Princess had an excellent idea.

“We need to go to the highest of high lands and see the Queen,” said the Jersey Princess.

“You mean…,” the Princess whispered carefully, knowing that Karma and the Universe listened intently, “see Her? THE Queen?!”

“Yes – we will go to the land of the lights and see what the Queen says,” exclaimed the Jersey Princess.

The two princesses wasted no time to start planning their journey. Jersey Princess is an expert when it came to travels, so it was easy for her to not only arrange the travel, but get time with Her Majesty.

With great excitement and anticipation, the princess eagerly awaited her chance to hear the voice of the Queen.

But what happens when she does see the Queen?

Stay tuned.

Hiatus

In case you haven't figured it out, my writing is on hiatus. I wish I could call it writer's block or something creative - but I have nothing for you. There is much to be figured out at the moment and that is taking longer then I've expected.

Fear not, I've learned never to say goodbye... I'll just say see ya later.

I appreciate all my loyal readers and dear friends and many thanks to those who've checked in. I hope to report good things soon.

Much love always.
-G

When the going gets tough...

the tough go to Jersey.

Despite all my talk about enjoying this moment in our Nation's history, I have made the decision to escape and spend the weekend where I'm much better off - with some of my best gals.

Why? A bunch of reasons:

Priorities. Time with my friends is way more valuable to me then saying "I was there". I am sad about missing my new neighbor and welcoming him into da 'hood, but I'll get over it. It in no way compares to missing a weekend with my gals - I mean, this dude is only the President.

Jersey has TVs too. Even if I was here, I'd be trapped in my apartment. DC has been chaos and madness for the last week as it transforms into a virtual police state. Overcrowded Metros have tested my patience and forced me to use my NYC subway survival techniques. Think I'm being a big baby... take a look at Time magazine.

Da birds. Big weekend for my Eagles and I'm rather sure if we win this one, my neighbor will come to kick my bum for being too loud. I'm trying to avoid the realization that Yes, it is just one person making all that noise.

Loud noises make Gina go nutty. I'm old. No really, I am. I have come to the point in my life where I want to use the phrase "get off my lawn, damn kids". The thought of being one block away from bars that are open until 5 am with drunken out-of-towners makes me cringe. Election night was like a parade at 3 am - there were screams, horns and drum circles, all of which sounded like they were in my room.

Meet my other personality, Nervous Nelly. Yes, I am paranoid and I'm ok with that. 9/11 was enough excitement for me in my lifetime. Knowing how much people worried about me and how close I am to all the inaugural action in the event something did happen makes me way too uncomfortable. Couple that with my fear of crowds due to my family losing me not once, but twice in Disneyworld and Schmeffy losing me in Heathrow Airport less than 10 minutes after deboarding - and I don't want to go missing.

Got da funk. Perhaps the most important reason of all - I am in a rut. Call it winter blahs, crisis of faith or whatever you like... I am just in an unmotivated, pity party of bleck. Trapped in my apartment for four days seems pretty unhealthy given my current state of ick.

Hotel de G. Even if I did stay, I'd be sleeping on my couch. A few people, all of whom don't know each other, need a place to stay - so G to the free-of-charge rescue. Not that I considered charging them... well, maybe just my brother and that's mostly because I opened my current IRA which he selected the funds for and given the 50% loss, I now know I will be working until I'm at least 90.

I hope you all are staying warm - wherever you are because I am a G-sicle right now.

Smooch -
G

It Could Happen...

Come on - I look Presidential... wouldn't you vote for me with this poster? :-)

Falling Apart at the Seams...

I unprogrammed my remote and can't seem to fix my running toilet. Couple that with my dad's solution of double stick taping my windows shut to block the non-stop draft (btw - didn't work) and needing to lay down new flooring, I really desperately need a handyman.

I also have developed wicked insominia - I was up until 6 am last night. Very grateful to a long lost friend who I reunited with on Facebook who stayed up all night with me.

If my readers have solutions... please send them to me, I'm all ears. The only solution I have right now is for someone to take me out back and shoot me. Just like Ol' Yeller.

Go Eagles!

That's about all I got right now. Except probably a pending eviction letter for screaming and cursing worse than a baby of a sailor and a truck driver.

Let's beat the Cards! My apologies in advance to the peeps who will be watching the game with me next weekend. It's gonna be loud.

Some People Just Know How to Make My Day...

Happy New Year...

Proof that if you give me a blue drink, I'll wear just about anything... Not exactly happy go lucky quite yet, but hey - I've already accomplished several resolutions, so... here's to a happy, healthy New Year for all...