The river

It wasn't my first panic attack, but it was among the most memorable.

I was so excited and happy, I managed to work myself into over excitement.

I'm thankful that this song both resonated and made me calm.

It wound up being a great day.

One for the books.

The little lights aren’t twinkling, Clark

Among all the things I've fixed it this house I call home…it's the little things. Finding the right bulbs to make my house not look like a horror show is one of the smaller things but ones that make me smile.

Hey, I did it

Like I said Piano Man follows me… but coming home after an amazing meal and playing pool at one of my oldest and dearest friends who I never thought in a million years would be back…that's just something.

Definitely anticipate a world of hurt after 3 hours of front yard clean up prior to that, but, these are the times that I get to take a deep breath and smile. And heck, when your mom says “I’m so proud of you” after seeing your ridiculous amount of work…doesn’t suck. Apologies to my great grandfather who I never met for curating the world’s most enduring rose bush which is clearly from another planet. 

Accomplishment takes many forms…and this one is mine.

Smooches,
G

Where to start…

I guess let's begin where I left off at the airport. After a quick change in the bathroom, where I unknowingly left a cute hoodie that I had only wore once, I stood in the mob between the two luggage carousels. 

Finally got my luggage and called B, who was in short term parking. I love B, but he has no sense of direction, so I knew I had some time. I stood next to a lady on the phone with assumingely her husband giving him directions as to where she was standing. I couldn't help but laugh and when she got off the phone she said "yes, I guess it's MY fault he doesn't know where he is." I smiled, shook my head and said, "well, no one looks good in orange, so, grab a drink and take a deep breath." She laughed her ass off and B arrived just on time. 

With all the excitement, I completely forgot that I let B book our lodging and he insisted it would be a "surprise." The last time I let him book something, we wound up at a bed and breakfast that was so terrifying, I swear someone came in our room and I called his friend (now one of mine) and told him that I needed to stay at his place for night two. 

But, he did good! We had this adorable two floor condo unit not even 2 blocks off Duval with two decks, two bedrooms and (after a couple days stay) a pool that he didn't know about. 

That first night was hot and humid, like the type of humid where it feels like you're chewing the air. But B was ready for a night, I had kept a steady flow of Prosecco in my blood stream for being up for at least 14 hours, so off we went to Duval. 

I haven't been to KW in at least 15 years, but I do have a good sense of direction and memory…so a block in, I knew we where we were. We landed at a bar with a guy playing piano for our first few rounds…no surprise, as Piano Man follows me wherever I go. 

Then, we went to a bar that i remembered called 801 Bourbon. I knew this place bc it was pink and there's a lovely picture of me and B in front of it from our last trip that he recently put on my fridge. 

80s music was blaring so I was very happy and I bent over to look at the cocktail menu not realizing I was grooving at the same time. The bartender immediately shouted "yaaaassss, look at those moves!" I looked up, ready to put on my bitchy New Yorker, and saw the sweetest boy. He was actually complimenting me, so mental note, been awhile since that happened. And given that I was at a gay bar with a drag show upstairs, well, honestly, that's an even bigger compliment. 

So, I scooted onto a stool and told my new friend Christian the bartender to make me something fun with rum. Note: don't ever do this to a bartender in a crowded bar. This bar was pretty slow, so I asked him because he looked like he wanted a challenge. 

He did good, so good, in fact he said "damn! I need to write that one down." 

We chatted away and then I asked what his specialty drink was - it was a strawberry lemonade martini that was unreal. I closed my eyes for a moment, and when I opened them, I looked behind the bar and exclaimed "oh Jesus!" I wasn't drunk and wasn't having a personal moment from the drink, there was just legit a guy who looked like Jesus, including a shroud in front of me…which turned out to be Christian's new husband. 

More time passed, but oddly I was completely ok…so much so that I was the responsible one who said it was time to find dinner (it was closing in on 10:30 pm…time awake 18 hours and counting). 

Thankfully, I had a lead on a decent pub close by and after stopping for provisions, we headed back to the condo, where I turned 18 hours awake into a solid 24. I was beyond my limit, but managed to grab a shower before I crashed. 

And that's just night one… B's super power has always been making time appear and we made it last. 

There are more stories including Key West's Jason Momoa…but for now, that's what i got. 

Baby Reindeer

Episode 6. Damn. This makes Euphoria look like an after school special.

Thanks for the memories

Nine years ago, I was sipping the most amazing coffee kolsch at Banger Brewing while doing an impromptu Mona Lisa Vito impersonation showdown. I won, because, positraction.

Earlier, it was blood orange margaritas at Nacho Daddy.

An epic trip with someone on my long list of people I miss and with who I always had an absolute blast. Sometimes, sorry doesn't quite cut it, life goes a different way…so I will just say thanks for all the fun memories that I never forget and "Sumatra."

Life was so much easier then, even though it seemed so much harder.

Three little birds would tell me not to worry…

Carpool karaoke season

I'm not much for material things, but the one thing I'm glad my family would not let me sell despite needing the money is my convertible, Fred.

Driving with the top down and tunes blaring is serenity for me. But, sometimes, ok, nearly always, I forget that I'm in my own world singing at the top of my lungs.

This weekend was perfect for convertible driving. So much so that I forgot that I was belting out some old school Tay, when I heard someone beep at me. It was a random person asking if they could get in front of me to make a turn. Of course, I obliged but not before I made fun of myself and said "welcome to my karaoke!"

They got a good laugh, as did my friend who waited about 30 minutes before he said "soooo, what exactly were you listening to and screaming at the top of your lungs as you were putting the top up?"

Ah well…all good!

Smooches,
G

Abducted by love

I've been thinking about the best title for this. As I was walking Holly yesterday, I heard a car roll up on the lawn next to us and 3 dudes pile out. For a split second, I felt like Blue in Old School preparing to be kidnapped for an old people fraternity. Then I heard "what up, G!" and realized we were more than safe. It was my lovely Chase family who stopped to give Holly all the pets and the oldest not being able to contain his excitement to show me the car he just got.

In Key West, B asked me a million times what I wanted to accomplish as our time in life is short. My response each time was the same, "I'm doing it."

He was perplexed. I further explained that I love living a simple life, being a people connector and surrounding myself with all the people I love.

A couple years ago, I made a joke that Jersey peeps just get "it" and that's what makes them so loyal to each other.

It's why when I forgot to text one of my neighbors that I was going away, I got a message that she was about to call my BIL because she couldn't find me and her husband give me a slight tongue lashing about how much I scared them. And why another neighbor that I barely know, almost called the police on the police because my house alarm went off when I was away and all they saw was someone with a flashlight peering in my windows.

Saturday, I stopped to take a minute to watch my friends from many years and many walks of life converge. It used to be at my house, but my friends are way past that - texting each other and hanging out. It gives me such joy and makes me feel full.

The "newest" friendship I have is 7 years and the older ones, of which there are many, is at least 35.

The fact that all these people continue to love me, stand by me but also each other, I'm not sure there's a greater gift. I love that if I'm out with "newer" friends, my older friends show up and are just as excited to see them as they are me. Inviting them to parties…knowing they all have the same open door policy that I do.

To many, it's not some big accomplishment…I'm not going to win any awards for it…but, in a world that loneliness is quickly becoming a major public health issue, it's not nothing.

Just ask Elmo.

More KW tales to follow!

Smooches,
G

Six days, four flights - part deux

Prosecco, with a mozzarella and tomato sandwich…check. Alerts…your flight is moved up 15 minutes, 30 minutes, boom…now!

I kept the tab open, but rushed to the bartender to close me out. Not today, my good man. Shoveling everything in, all at once, I rushed back to my gate. 

Again, I await being called to board and hop up when called. I was 1F. If you're traveling first class, my tip - book the second or other rows, as you have no place to store your stuff. But, it was the last seat…which, yes, not so poor people problems (thank god for credit card points). 

I take a deep breath as everyone boards and it appears that I'm going to fly solo in my row until this guy rushes onto the flight…tanned and tattooed (which truth be told does nothing for me). A cute dude, nonetheless, and I divert my attention to my lesbian rom-com book as I have zero intention to engage with some hipster dude. He pulls out a real book, and my eyebrows are raised because I can't remember the last time I've seen a guy with a book. 

We take off, reach cruising and all seems well, until I have to use the restroom. 

I do my best to climb over the now asleep dude and succeed, again a triumph. I slink back over him to get to my seat, and as I'm half way straddled, the flight attendant chooses that moment to wake the guy and ask us what we'd like to drink. Thankssss…not awkward at all, lady. 

This guy smiles, as they say, sheepishly and asks if I'm going to Key West for business or pleasure. Part of me wants to tell him I know the pilot, since he was on my first flight. But, I explain the situation and ask him his…then he explains he's stationed in Oahu and is flying in to teach because he's a Navy medic. 

Admittedly, it was a super enjoyable flight and conversation, I got to learn about his wife and kids, why Hawaii has its downfalls and their future plans involving a plot of land in NC next to his parents. 

He explained why he was envious of my life living so close to my family and so many friends. 

It all made sense, the grass is always greener. 

Flying into Key West was ultimately gorgeous and I managed to drink all the bubbly that first class had to offer - quite literally. I also took some video, mostly for my BIL. 

Finally, we landed but my journey was just beginning as I followed the Navy medic and Key West airport personnel to the world's smallest baggage pickup area. 

Luckily, smart G packed a change of clothes, which I promptly changed into, as the airport is under construction and lacking AC. 

Stay tuned to learn more about my next connection - finding B. 

Smooches,

G

Interruption...

Pardon the interruption, but like nearly every girl in the world, I have to put my 6 days, 4 flights recap on hold for some bad-ass Taylor lyrics.

Happily part of the The Tortured Poets Department...

I saw, in my mind, fairy lights through the mist

I kept calm and carried the weight of the rift

Pulled him in tighter each time he was driftin' away

My spine split from carrying us up the hill

Wet through my clothes, weary bones got the chill

I stopped tryin' to make him laugh, stopped tryin' to drill the safe

 

Thinkin', how much sad did you think I had

Did you think I had in me?

Oh, the tragedy

So long, London

You'll find someone

 

I didn't opt in to be your odd man out

I founded the club she's heard great things about

I left all I knew, you left me at the house by the Heath

I stoppеd CPR, after all, it's no use

The spirit was gonе, we would never come to

And I'm pissed off you let me give you all that youth for free

 

For so long, London

Stitches undone

Two graves, one gun

I'll find someone

 

And you say I abandoned the ship

But I was going down with it

My white-knuckle dyin' grip

Holding tight to your quiet resentment

And my friends said it isn't right to be scared

Every day of a love affair

Every breath feels like rarest air

When you're not sure if he wants to be there

 

So how much sad did you think I had

Did you think I had in me?

How much tragedy?

Just how low did you

Think I'd go 'fore I'd self-implode?

'Fore I'd have to go be free?

 

You swore that you loved me, but where were the clues?

I died on the altar waitin' for the proof

You sacrificed us to the gods of your bluest days

And I'm just getting color back into my face

I'm just mad as hell 'cause I loved this place for

 

So (So) long (Long), London (London)

Had (Had) a (A) good (Good) run (Run)

A moment (Moment) of warm sun (Sun)

But I'm (I'm) not (Not) the (The) one (One)

So (So) long (Long), London (London)

Stitches (Stitches) undone (Undone)

Two (Two) graves (Graves), one gun (Gun)

You'll (You'll) find (Find) someone

And, we’re back

After two very long years, I finally took a vacation. It was a bittersweet as I went to meet DC bestie who lost his husband. We were supposed to meet up when he was in Jersey, but I got sick. Everything happens for a reason, as after I told him I couldn't see him, I realized that a harder next step in his journey was going home. 

The silence of an empty house can be daunting and I experienced this a lot these past two years, much worse when Lisa passed. So, when I got the call that he needed to leave again, I knew I had to step up. We planned a trip on very short notice and I called in a favor with my boss given work has been much busier. 

The plan was for him to road trip down to Florida, I would meet him in Fort Lauderdale and we would take the 4 hour drive to Key West where I hoped to do my best work to bring cheer including serenading him with Escape and Kokomo. After all, the Gina Mangiaracina Foundation paid for a trip last year to the Keys that didn't include me so …figured I would go back to the happiest vacation I can remember. (See NYE 2005). 

If my life ever went according to plan, that is. 

Good morning your flight has been cancelled 

I was all checked in, set to leave on the earliest flight with the gate number ready, I rolled my luggage to door, checked my phone one last time to see my flight was cancelled. Fan-fucking-tastic. They don't even give you a reason or an option. Two hours of back and forth with Marcela from Expedia, we determined that I needed to cancel my flights as the only scenario was paying quadruple of my original flight. Also, there was no guarantee that I would get my money back for the cancellation. 

But, I couldn't let my friend down and persistence is my middle name, so, I pressed onward. I finally found flights that were only double the cost. After yelling YOLO in my head, I went for it. When I factored in luggage and seat costs, it was nearly the same cost to fly first class on the way down and after the morning I had, I threw that in too. 

Having been up since around 4:30 am, I was exhausted but made my way to the airport with the hopes of making a connecting flight directly into KW. I got to the airport and promptly received a weather alert for my Charlotte connection. That's when my anxiety went into overdrive and I began to have a panic attack. I hadn't eaten yet, so I spent an ungodly amount of money on a breakfast burrito, looked at it and proceeded to gag. I decided to use one of my old travel rituals and headed to buy myself a book. I wasn't paying attention and saw a cute cover of two girls that appeared to be on a road trip - done. My head was dizzy and my heart racing…so, I texted my best friend at home, who promptly kicked on her Mary Popov and suggested a mimosa. I walked to the airport bar, dropped $15 on a mimosa that was so small I've been administered pills in larger cups…and slowly took sips while breathing. I also listened to a 60+ old man talk about how the weather cancelled everyone's morning flights. She kept texting me and I grew calmer. Then, I looked down at the book which I was going to see if she knew, and realized it wasn't two friends on a road trip, it was a lesbian rom-com. 

Yay, time to board! Apparently, purchasing first, didn't matter as my first flight I was in an exit row where I had to promise to help everyone on the plane and was Group 7 to board. Now, again, when I traveled for work, I used to complain about Group 5…which used to be how high it went. Nope, now they go up to Group 9 which doesn't include the 4 other unnumbered categories prior. After being asked for the third time at the gate if I would help people as I was in the exit row and giving my response of "I will help anyone and anything that gets me to Key West today," I finally got to my center seat in between a young, overly jacked dude and a guy in uniform holding an iPad. After I got my seatbelt on, I looked down and realized the iPad had airplane safety classes on it. With one hand getting ready to promptly unbuckle, I asked the man if there was anything I needed to know because I wasn't in the mood. He laughed and said he was the pilot for the Key West flight and they make them take recertification classes which he needed to finish before Charlotte. Oh, excellent. So, I spent my flight ready each section of his test as casually as possible while seeing if he answered anything right as he let the lessons play and was texting his friends. At this point, I was prepared to fly and land the plane just to get there…but did learn about flight diversion and the downfalls of being too tired to fly. 

The captain lets everyone know that we're flying into "some weather" which was bad enough to stop drink service and turn my burrito into a tortilla flat as it rolled up and down the middle chairs. 

Finally, touch down in Charlotte, turn on my cell and find out there's a flight delay. Cool. 

I wandered to my terminal - and let me tell you the good folks of the Charlotte airport are not messing around when they say walking from terminal b to d is about 19 minutes. I check to make sure my gate is still my gate…hear the chatter of everyone who insists this flight will be cancelled and realize I still haven't eaten. There was a super cool looking brewery in the center of the airport, but I opted for a crappy sandwich and the bar next to my gate. This would be a smart choice as within less than 15 minutes my flight would go from over an hour delay back to its original time. Unfortunately, not everyone got that memo. 

Stay tuned for flight two…

Ow

That would be my head. I suppose it was bound to happen, but I don't even know the last time I was truly drunk. Damn gay bars with their heavy pours and Mai Tais. Also, stupid me acting like I was in a Time Machine reverting back to my way younger years.

That was unfortunate, probably needed, but still…

I've spent the last few days here being careful and adulting - sunscreen and all.

Yet, my crooked halo fell off last night.

Was I safe? Yes, woke up in one piece and in the right bed.

Was it fun? Yes, until it wasn't.

Would I file this under "do not try this at home"? Yes. That typically goes for most things I do. 

The difference is that I apologized, which doesn’t make it better, but I do try to own up to my mistakes. 

Do better, future G.

Oh boy, a story is brewing

Group 9?

Good morning your flight has been cancelled

Accidental first class - the navy medic from Hawaii

The 60 something dad at bar 1

Accidentally buying a lesbian rom com book

The pilot getting certified
The jacked dude

I’m gong to kill that chicken. 

The tattooed hipster
FaceTiming to "whoa is that a giant penis?!"

Do you think these shorts would fit in your Subaru

Oh, Jesus.
Christian- my little chocolate covered espresso bean

Super tall guy - straight or not
Did someone break in?
Nothing is gonna stop us - yea, Boom

Yay Mikey!!

Made him smile and dance anyway

I did something bad

Tonight, I did something truly terrible and it's the karma I deserve for my empathy.

So awful…

I ate "pizza"…(oh please my Italian relatives in heaven, please forgive me for this and also forgive my dad for being the one who supplied it)…from Wawa.

What's worse? It was almost good.

That could be the exhaustion from an overly long, aggravating workday talking, but it's the thanks I get after expressing sympathy for two Jersey transplants that live in the South.

That said, it could've been worse…it could've had pineapple on it. If I ever have that, I give full permission to have me locked up.

Reporting live from the bubble

Let's be honest. People are sadder and angrier than anytime we can recall. I hear it, I see it. I actively avoid it. Since the pandemic, I have enjoyed living life in the bubble. My definition of that is surrounded by my loved ones. 

But I know that's not reality. I'm not naïve, I do go out in the world and experience the short temperedness and the absolutely shit show driving. 

I just don't choose to engage. There's a lot to be mad at in the world - bullying, inflation, general asshole-I-ness… I'm not saying I don't feel it. But I try to not to let it get to me. 

I try to be kind and nice to everyone. I always have, but it appears to be a lost art. 

Just think, take a breath, everyone is going through something and it really takes no effort to keep your pie hole closed or as I like to tell Holly to "Taylor Swift it" aka "shake it off."

Never change NY Post

I've always loved the creative writing in this paper: \https://nypost.com/2024/04/05/us-news/pennsylvania-man-was-getting-a-vasectomy-when-4-8-earthquake-struck/

Make it a good one

"Character is what you have left when you've lost everything you can lose. "

- Evan Esar

April Fools…

Among the more frustrating things about life, is you can try your hardest to do everything right and life can still hand you a shit burger from time to time.

I've been working my ass off to fix up my home, which ironically I had to fight to keep even though, to this day, I'm the only person to have paid the mortgage.

But today, despite two steps forward, I feel 10 steps back.

It's not a bad life, it's a bad day…and you can't appreciate the better days without facing days like these but still…eating shit really stinks.