Up since 4:50 am for a video shoot in the big apple. Since I moved from DC, I've lost my will to be a morning person. You'd think having a dog would help but she sleeps later than I do. Complain. Complain. Complain.
Can't really whine about this because I'm here for someone with a terminal disease. Her best chance is to live until 40, something I'm rapidly approaching. Yet her zest and strength is unstoppable. She's a literal rock star, advocate and all over sweet as pie person. Helps our small stuff into perspective when the little things weigh us down. She has a right to be nasty yet she treats everyone like gold and like a gift she even met them.
It's days like this that remind me why I do what I do. It's such a small part of healthcare but knowing that I helped someone spread awareness and maybe help someone else. That's priceless and irreplaceable to me.
I love knowing others that do way more than me - like actually caring for people and saving their lives - and seeing their passion for it. I wish I was able to be trained to do those things but at least I'm able to help with my words and work.
Now if only I could help with NYC traffic, life would be complete. (Haha)
After a 13 hour work day, I think I'm going to invent a new measurement and that is ounce of beer per hour worked. That sounds scientifically legit. But to be fair, it should really be 2 oz. per each working hour.
It's funny how I usually couldn't wait to escape my house and now that it's my home, I can't bear leaving it. The other day someone pointed out so many memories that have happened there - in such a short amount of time. And that's just their beginning in Casa de G. It doesn't account for the holidays, the girls nights, the fire pit, let's burn some sh*t party... Superbowl.
I think my parents are more attached to my home than their own. It's saying a lot since they've lived there longer than I've been alive. But, nothing beats the doorbell ringing, the surprise visitors, the last minute babysitting to help a friend.
An overly stocked pantry which I use to create random concoctions, that are surprisingly edible.
:-)
Schmeffy will be the first to tell people that one of my standard lines in my 20s was that I wanted to go home, but I never felt like I knew where it was. He'd argue that it was wherever I was and my friends were. After years of fighting the urge to be where I am, years of feeling like I wasn't good enough to come back to my hometown, I am now home and in my own space.
Loving every minute of it and the struggle was well worth it. Life may be far from perfect right now, but it's the little things that make me so over the moon.
Mi casa es su casa, my peeps. And the bar is stocked and open!
I got hit over the head this morning and for maybe the first time I don't actually mean that literally. I can finally answer a question that I wasn't able to answer, for argument's sake we will say "in a past life." I've been accused of not believing something or accepting something until I can figure out that answer on my own. Guilty. And why? Because I need to be able to know that I know the answer. Blind faith only leads you so far. You need it, but at some point you need to be able to stand firm with the answer you know to be true. It's literally the only way you can actually and honestly admit that you are true to yourself.
I am so loved right now. I've had a long history of being surrounded by love and I have given a ton of love - not in return but just because. Yet, this is the first time that I can say that I am loved. Maybe I just figured it out...maybe it's about the person who opened my eyes to it. And maybe, it took a superhero to do that.
The other day was a bad day and I was fortunate that someone came to rescue my failing spirit, not because it was urgent but because it's literally what he's trained to do. (Superheroes are like that). I may not of needed rescuing, but that didn't stop him from showing up. The whole day, I couldn't get this movie quote out of my head:
Edward Lewis: So what happens after he climbs up and rescues her? Vivian: She rescues him right back.
And, despite not being the world's biggest fan of Pretty Woman... I did, actually rescue him right back. Not in the traditional sense, but I was able to lift his spirits the same way he lifted mine.
I guess that makes us both superheroes or partners in crime, even. Anyone who knows me will realize that me saying that maybe I have some superhero in myself will understand just how significant that realization is, in and of itself.
It's blue and rainy here, but life has never been more vibrant. My life just became colorful and something just really snapped into place... so, I give you the song that spawned the epiphany about the superhero. Sorry folks, I can't give you the superhero himself. He's mine. ;-)
Smooches,
G
Colorful - The Verve Pipe
Show is over, close the story book
There will be no encore
And all the random hands that I have shook
Well, they're reaching for the door
I watch their backs as they leave single file
You stood stubborn, cheering all the while
I know I can be colorful, I know I can be gray
But I know this loser's living fortunate
'Cause I know you will love me either way
Most were being good for goodness sake
But you wouldn't pantomime
You are more beautiful when you awake
Than most are in a lifetime
Through the haze that is my memory well
Stayed for drama though you paid for a comedy
I know I can be colorful, I know I can be gray
An' I know this loser's living fortunate
An' I know you will love me either way
Look ahead as far as you can see me
We'll live in drama but we'll die in a comedy
I know I can be colorful, I know I can be gray
But I know this loser's living fortunate
An' I know you will love me either way
I know I can be colorful, I know I can be gray
But I know this loser's living fortunate
An' I know you will love me yes I know you will love me
I know you will love me me either way
"Never underestimate the strength of a good woman. She can make the best out of the hardest situations. Her tears show love not weakness."
I'm truly floored by how easy can life be, when you are with the right people. When laughing is nonstop, the little stuff is not sweated, when waving your freak flag is not only not frowned upon, but encouraged. The only pain you have is stomach from laughing too hard and face from smiling to wide.
Peaceful state of zen ensues when you're not only allowed to be yourself, but it's encouraged. What's more interesting is that you go from invisible to visible, something quite new to me and very sweet to know that even from afar that people appreciate me for exactly who I am, flaws and all. I'm so grateful for this time in my life right now. I'm really working to live in the present and record it here, if the tables turn or the inevitable down day.
I wonder if you actually need to wade through all the shit to reach this point, but if that's the case, then the journey was more than worth it.
I love when the most perfect, well time quotes put up in my social media. No time to write the story behind this one... need to piece it together. But in the meantime, feel free to stew on the sentiment.
The most important thing is that I keep getting back up. So whoever made my fake tinder, whoever stole my identity, whoever keeps trying to bring me back down.
I only have one thing to say – I am Gina Mangiaracina. So suck on that. *mic drop*
Smooches
G
"Conqueror"
(feat. Estelle & Jussie Smollett)
Life is like a big merry-go-round,
You're up and then down,
Going in circles trying to get to where you are.
Everybody's been counting you out,
Where are they now?
Sitting in the same old place,
Just faces in the crowd.
We all make mistakes,
You might fall on your face,
But you gotta get up!
[Chorus:]
I'd rather stand tall
Than live on my knees,
'Cause I am a conqueror,
And I won't accept defeat!
Try telling me no,
One thing about me
Is I am a conqueror,
I am a conqueror!
Ooh oh
Got a vision that no one else sees,
Lot of dirty work, roll up your sleeves,
Remember there's a war out there,
So come prepared to fight!
You never know where the road leads you,
Not everyone's gonna believe you,
And even know they're wrong, don't prove them right.
[Chorus:]
I'd rather stand tall (tall)
Than live on my knees (can't live on my knees)
'Cause I am a conqueror
And I won't accept defeat!
Try telling me no (no)
One thing about me (one thing about me)
Is I am a conqueror,
I am a conqueror!
Ooh oh (Ooh oh)
I am a conqueror!
We all make mistakes,
You might fall on your face,
But you gotta get up!
We all make mistakes,
You might fall on your face,
Don't ever give up!
[Chorus:]
I'd rather stand tall (oooh)
Than live on my knees (can't live on my knees)
'Cause I am a conqueror (I am a conqueror)
And I won't accept defeat! (And I won't accept defeat)
So just to sum up one of my most banner days yet. After a craptastic workday, I get a message from someone who I've seen all of once in 20 years who decides to tell me that they just thought I looked great on tinder. It would be helpful if I even knew what tinder was or how it works or even how my pictures and profile managed to get there.
So once again someone manage to steal my identity and I got to spend the entire night trying to reach the fine folks at tinder to figure out how I can get this imaginary profile removed. And the best part is that I actually can't until I can figure out who signed me up for a fake Facebook profile and then report that.
The hits just keep on coming. At least this person was very kind and was sweet enough to compliment me on my smile and infectious laugh. Never a dull moment.
Smooches
G
If I had a nickel for every time piano man came on when I needed it too, then I would be just as rich as I am in life as I am in friendship. Thanks billy Joel and friends.
I don't have a bucket list, per say, but there are things that I've always wanted to say. One of those is "I'm sorry, I'm on sabbatical."
After 9 years, my company just started offering sabbaticals for people who've been here for more than 8 years. BOOM.
Here's hoping! If anyone needs 6 weeks off, it's this girl... a lil' namaste and all. Or, maybe I'll finally get up that gumption to write that book... and use the online writing course that someone so conveniently plopped in my inbox!
I need good vibes, fair readers. My chances of getting approved are SO slim, but when has a long shot ever stopped this underdog?
Part 2: I also got mail from Jehovah's Witness... so, if this plan fails, there is always Jesus... or at least, Jehovah.
I can't believe only a week ago I was pulling in from Vegas. Sigh. What a week... Lots of change underway. One weird thing I did out there was use my social media powers for good. Ok, for not complaining to get free stuff at least. Once in awhile, it's actually fun to use your PR skills for outside the box stuff. I was told that I was a bit of a social media whore, which I proudly accept. It paid off quite well even. On Instagram, I was either tagged or liked by everyone from a local brewery to the Bellagio. I became Facebook friends with a professional poker teacher. The owner of an amazing Mexican restaurant is following me and retweeting me. I was thanked by restaurants on Yelp. And I even used Twitter to reach out to a few authors. Coolest moment - was being thanked by the author of Silver Linings Playbook, one of my favorite books and movies. Awesome.
Now it's back to the boring life, which isn't so bad. Trying to maintain some form of lasting zen while trudging through all the crap I know I need to get through. Big changes underway both with me personally and my friends. A few choices I had to make which have left me sad but knew they were right. The good news is that I've mostly stuck to 3-4 walks a day, which are fantastic sanity savers and make the pooch thrilled to pieces.
