Wow. Ever think there are days that you shouldn't bother to wake up?
I have to tell you all, I've hit a new record low.
First, I fell for the same song and dance twice... on Friday, Flounder calls out of the blue again and offered tickets to the Redskins/Eagles game, which made me super excited all weekend since I've always wanted to go to a football game AND it is the Eagles, which thanks to Schmeffy I've now got a hankering for watching. And despite the recent suspension of T.O. (which to me is a good thing, never liked the guy), this was going to be me, seeing the Eagles live! Instead of yelling at my TV until my roommate changes the channel, I could go and yell with the other 90,000 people in the stadium (thus satisfying my sports terrets). Well, this morning he calls to tell me the tickets he thought he had, he no longer has. Thus would end my Eagles experience, just 8 short hours prior to kick off.
Trying to shake off the "fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me" feeling, I go to brunch (which for me meant mimosas) with a gal pal... feeling a little better with the taste of champagne and OJ in me, I come home to check my email and get the below letter. Can I just tell you I never even met this person...
So, for a good laugh at my own expense, I give you the second time I got dumped today in writing:
Hey Gina,
Glad to hear you're feelin' better!
My week included a disaster. I've been on this match.com thing for a month now, and I have been in contact with you (!) and this one other girl, who for whatever reason seemed very compatible with me. Anyway, we decide to go to lunch on Friday, and I get to the restaurant first, and I'm all nervous thinking this girl could be the one, and she calls me when she gets in the restaurant asking me where I was sitting. Gina, I got up and saw her on the cell phone waving to me, and her Match.com picture must have been taken during her sophomore year of high school. She had to have been about 50 to 75 pounds more than her "about average" listing led me to believe. There was no way I could get out. Longest lunch of my life. I'm sure she was very interesting, and I just kept smiling and nodding my head at what she was saying, but I didn't hear any of it ... I was just thinking to myself, how did I get myself into this situation??!! I was actually about to call you on the way back to the office, just because I thought you might understand the pitfalls of match.com!
Anyway, listen. I have to be honest and tell ya that I don't think you're exactly my dating type, and I probably can't even explain why, only that I'm weird in the way I think. Who knows, you might even feel that about me. That said, you seem incredibly cool, you're hysterical, and I feel like we could of grown up together on the same block. I would love to meet you over a beer, watch a game, go Christmas shopping, whatever, if you're up for it. If you don't have time for that sort of thing I understand. But you seem like a great girl.
Lemmee know if you ever want to hang out. Otherwise I wish you lots of luck (or at least better luck than I had!)
John
Yea, I'm having a taking a bath w/my toaster moment today, my friends. But, I'm sure you all see the humor in this day and one day I will too. Just not today. Today, I'm pretty much packing it in and going to sleep until tomorrow.
Hope everyone is enjoying the sunshine. I kind of wish it was raining myself or that my internet was disconnected.
Smooch,
G
11 comments:
Well, since I am the eternal optimist...
1) The Eagles lost, and there were lots of fights in the stands last night between Eagles and Redskin fans. That might not have been a good scene.
2) You've been dumped by a guy you've never met. By that rationale, I'm really close to scoring with Salma Hayek, because she's never dumped me.
I would hate on that guy for his email to you, but, it happened to me on my LAST match.com date, except it wasn't 50/75 lbs... it was EASILY 150+!! I mean, it wasn't even close.
If there were fights in the stands, G, you KNOW your sports terrets would have started a riot, so technically this ding-dong saved your life. Don't get me wrong, though, he still sucks.
As for the cyber dumping, I would bet the farm that this guy has a roid. Just a hunch.
G, you should lay off Flounder, don't talk to him ever again. If he is a spaz and calls you about tickets that he doesn't even have in hand then he's going to let you down again and again. More likely he found someone else he'd prefer to go with, which case you shouldn't talk to him again.
As for the match.com scene, I don't know. I'm on myspace.com, and I get all kinds of wackos sending me stuff, just drop it and forget it, not worth your time to worry about people the their imaginations. I don't know if you can do it on match.com, but I just block the wackos and I never worry about it again.
Deathanchor,
Me thinks you should meet Gina!
I know nothing of G beyond what she has written in her blog, and I've only managed to read only a handful of her past posts in the little time I have to spare. I only began reading her blog regularly after a friend sent me her blog entry on Flounder last week.
Also how are you to make that judgement call on G's behalf? What do you know of me? I can tell you for a fact, that do not personally know anyone that has made comments thus far on this post. Who's to say what kind of person I am?
I'm not shooting down the idea, just saying hasty actions often lead to disappointment. I'd have to get to know her more and I'm sure she would want the same of me. But this is all speculation and moot without detective mangy's input.
Hey Deathanchor-
You need to avoid Gina at all costs.
Not because she's a bad chick or you seem like a bad fellow. In fact, quite the contrary.
When did Moonlighting start to suck? When David and Maddie hooked up.
When did Northern Exposure start to suck? When Fleischer and Maggie hooked up.
When did Ed start to suck? When Ed and Carol hooked up.
It's only doomed to fail. DA, stay in Jersey. Gina, stay away from the Turnpike at all costs.
I can't help myself. As Gina's hetero lifemate (she slept upon my bosom once, you know), I just want to see her happy. Sorry if you were put off, Deathanchor. Anyway, like you said, it's a moo point. A cow's opinion.
Thanks DA the Female. I know I'm on to something with hookups on TV shows - some would say Friends started to suck when Chandler and Monica got married, but others would say it was when they introduced Rachel's baby.
It's always a sure sign of a dying series. Watch the West Wing have Donna Moss finally hook up with Josh Lyman this season...
I have to tell you... either y'all think my life is a sitcom or that it should be one.... either way makes me flattered.
Smooch.
Sitcom or Greek Tragedy, you be the judge ;-)
and don't move to California.
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