bar of soap in a liquid detergent world

Wednesday, November 18, 2015

Lessons learned

So as I sit here healing away... Trying to take advantage of this time (aka I really can't take sitting still). I have done my fair share of online shopping, but all productive. I finally upgraded some little things like my hair dryer that apparently was 20 years old. I've also started plotting out next year, including celebrating some 40th birthdays with two of my bffs that I was inseparable from back in the day. We chose Vegas, of course...we've already been there but the opportunity to see Billy Idol seems to have made that a winner. I just like knowing there is something in the future. Still slow going on the recovery but getting up, getting ready. Now if the swelling would go down I would be all set.

Wow...just wow...

Great article. http://viral.tanobuzz.com/reading-this-beautiful-story-might-just-save-your-relationship-choose-him-or-her-everyday.html

Tuesday, November 17, 2015

Like mother, like fur kid

The girl w hormonal issues now officially has a dog w hormonal issues. My dog's annual vet visit, which cost about the same amount as my 40th birthday vacation budget, showed that she has hormone and thyroid issues. Now she is taking the same hormones I took years ago, which cost about quadruple what I paid back in the day. Oh, the irony. Poor thing gave me the stink eye after they poked and prodded her for an hour including drawing blood (she didn't get my poor veins thankfully). Now she's chewing on a lovely no calorie marrow bone. Looks like she just joined my 5k training team for 2016. It's that or puppy PT...which even the vet thinks is crazy since we typically walk 10,000 steps (5 miles) a day.

Never a dull moment. But hey, I left the house today...so despite being swollen and exhausted...baby steps.

Usual Suspect

Thankful for my sister from another mister who gave me a big laugh by asking my whereabouts and sending me this headline. I would definitely see why someone would think I would do this...although typically I yell "I'm very nautical". Needed a good laugh since today my accomplishment is being awake, showering and sitting up before noon. I really hate the healing process.

Monday, November 16, 2015

Thanks for the extra kick...

November 16

Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are a good person is a little like expecting the bull not to attack you because you are a vegetarian.

Dennis Wholey

Today, treat the world fairly.

Capping off the day...

When your dog pukes all over the carpet... Best. Day. Ever. Total metaphor for my life right now.

Hurricane G

It's always good when you're on restricted activity aka bed rest and you're also a super spaz who missed the open can of ginger ale which is now all over the nightstand, wall, bed, carpet and self. Especially when your dog looks at you in disgust and marches off the bed to her newfound bedroom (what used to be the guest bedroom).

Times like these where it's so much fun to have to suck it up and bend in positions you can't be in on a good day to try to stop the sugar from making your bedroom a sticky mess.

Insomnia

It may have something to do with the snoring dog draped on top of my legs or that I slept less than two hours...but here we are again. This is my 4th night in a row without a nights sleep. Losing my mind.

Sunday, November 15, 2015

When a comedy isn't...

Train wreck. Yea...this one seemed like it would be funny. Watching it while in couch bound recovery... And reading the plot again. A wee bit close to home. Dysfunctional girl who can handle her career but her life is one big hot mess... Check and check. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trainwreck_(film)

Saturday, November 14, 2015

For me...

This is for that impatient person who writes this silly blog (aka me). Exhausted from what feels like moving at a snails pace in life.

Not so much

If this is paradise, then take me back to the real world.

November 14

Paradise is where I am.

Voltaire

Today, look around, take a breath, be here, and notice that you are in paradise.

4:30 am

If you're still awake at this hour...you just want it to be for fun. Not because you just read every magazine you have, started book #2 in 24 hours and can't sleep.

Smart.

Insomnia + pain + recovery + home alone = sucky existence

Friday, November 13, 2015

Crazy is as crazy does...

Normal has never been my thing.

Thursday, November 12, 2015

Can't beat

Furry health care assistants are the best. I'm thankful for the people that helped or checked in today. Meant a lot. Especially to my bestie who bought half of Wegmans so my family wouldn't have to cook.

Wednesday, November 11, 2015

Jersey Girl

They may have found her in NC, but this girl is all Jersey. Someone must've told her to protect me because she's been like white on rice against whatever large animals are behind my fence. Thank you for that.

Perils of Wisdom

I have time on my hands today as my calls keep getting pushed later and haven't really talked to anyone. This makes me antsy. I guess now is as good as time as any to brain dump all my wise words.

Trust me, I realize I'm more likely to trip over carpet holding something electronic and fall into water than have something go wrong on an OR table. But with my dislike for doctors and this being done in a local surgical center…I wouldn't be surprised if someone misses a tube or hits the wrong button. Anyway, what the hell. If nothing else, this will make people laugh.

For starters, I welcome any budding young writers to take this blog and make it something I can't. That would rule. If you do, there will be several people that have contributed to this blog in spirit or in entry that will come forth and say I promised them 5% of the profits. I did. They likely have that in writing, so make sure you have a kick-ass publicist so you actually make something for your efforts.

I've never had anything named after me, so, I would gladly accept a hurricane, star, bourbon or beer (suggested alcohol names: G*dDamnit GinaMarie or G-ality).

Alright, those are my fun perils, here are my more general philosophies.

Forgive everyone. You don't have to forget (you likely won't), but as Don Henley would say, "There are people in your life who've come and gone; they let you down and hurt your pride; better put it all behind you; life goes on; you keep carrin' that anger, it'll eat you up inside." I've followed this advice since this song came out in 1989. Sometimes I want to smack Don in the face, but, he's right. People mess up, yourself included. Some people will make you angry, some will make you very sad. Anger is usually easier to let go of, sadness really sticks with you. But, forgive them. Often the people that hurt you are hurting more than even they will realize until it is too late.

Actually, you can. I don't follow this enough, but I've managed enough times to say that I try. There are so many things I thought I couldn't do, but just went ahead and did them. I still don't get how I walked 60 miles in 3 days – or trained 570 miles to do that. I don't even understand how I managed to fall into all the different ridiculous career choices I've had. And total truth, I have no idea how I'm still standing after everything I have and continue to go through. You just keep on going.

You need a village. Never underestimate the importance of having a super solid group of friends and family. At times, they will drive you crazy or make you angry (see Forgive Everyone) but they will show up. You'll learn to weed out the solid from the flighty. You'll even learn to know people's limitations, but you need to know that someone will show up. And this is quid pro quo. You need to show up for them too. Every time you can.

If you were perfect, you'd be a statue. You're going to screw up. Often. Like, very often. Poor choices only make you better. You have to take the risks even if those risks are with your heart. Those are by far the hardest ones to make. The easier ones are when you yell "shots" and everyone listens. (Seriously, most people never listen to me on a good day, why does everyone listen when I yell shots?) Now, this isn't meant to be license to go crazy, but as someone who routinely beats herself up on a daily basis, try your best. (Again, see Forgive Everyone).

"Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it." Work hard, but really try not to work as much as I know I have. Don't let work be an excuse to miss your life. This is my one regret. And no matter what you do, make sure that village keeps you grounded. If I didn't have those people who knew me for who I was, I'd probably be a Manhattan snob right now. (No offense to Manhattan or snobs, it's just not my bag). Have fun. Don't wait so long to have fun that you forget wtf fun is.

Be grateful, be thankful, be nice, show respect. I know at least one person laughed at this because they know me being "ungrateful" is a family line. You would never believe me if I told you how far being nice has taken me. I've received jobs, free drinks, deep discounts and other intangible things. It really doesn't take much. Open a door, say thank you when a waitress pours a glass of water, smile at a random stranger. Sometimes these things lead to very weird outcomes and life stories from these people, I'll give you that, but it's worth it. You'd be surprised how few people in this world think anyone cares. Spending a lot of time in airports lately, I've been more shocked at how many people have been kind to me. From TSA remembering me to the pizza guys telling me which Panini I really wanted… I was even nice to LA security despite patting down my bum very thoroughly in public. Thankfully, they decided it is not a Weapon of Mass Destruction.

Go for the laugh. In fact, when in doubt laugh… sing… or even dance no matter how bad you are at any of it. You may be hurting, but there is nothing better than knowing you got someone else to smile. Even if (as often in my world) it is at your own expense. If you haven't witnessed my ShopRite performances, I encourage you to check them out. They have much better music than Wegmans and the old people just dig me.

Appreciate, recognize love and give it in return. Here's the secret to being a member of the Island of Misfit Toys or put another way, when you look around and realize your odd man out when it comes to "the fairytale." Be thankful that you get to witness love at all. There are a lot of bad places in this world, where people don't even see love. I guarantee there is someone(s) that love you. You may not even know it, but it's there. Lyrical lesson #2: "You can't always get what you want, but if you try sometimes, you get what you need." The sad truth is that not everyone gets a fairytale, but you do get love. Here's my best quote for this: "And just as quickly as he arrived…he was gone. She was left with a gaping hole in her chest, where once again, she would try to regrow another heart, hoping it would be stronger to endure the next time it was broken." (That's a G original, no charge for it.)

Let little things be magical. You really don't need to go to Disney (although it rules). Let yourself believe that there is just a small bit of magic and beauty in everyday life. This is where G-ality is at its finest. Simple things that everyone can appreciate: staring at reflecting trees in water, toes in the sand, leaves changing color, watching birds, the first snowflake of the year.

Those really are the big ones, my friends. Others are more generic and you should know them by heart by now – Gambling: double down on 11, split pairs. Life lesson: always go to the bathroom when you're not sure when you'll be near one again (trust me on that one). Travel: Don't camp. We evolved for a reason. Drinking: Seriously, "tequila?" should immediately be followed by "no thank you." At least after the first one.

Ok, so now you have some serious power reading… I don't know if I'll be back on before tonight or even while I recover. I've sort of hit the mother load with this one, so it will need to really take something good. But I'll be seeing ya…

As always...

Smooches,

Pre-Op Advice from a Seasoned Professional

So, now that I got the hurt out of the way… here comes some practical advice. Tomorrow is my 8^th surgery for a disease that basically goes unrecognized since it isn't fatal and only affects women. Overall, this is my 12^th (probably more) surgery. The healthcare folks will hand you down the basics (don't eat/drink after midnight, no medications, come prepared to pee, etc.). I'm going to list a few other things they don't tell you when you have the opportunity to know you're having surgery in advance:

1) Shave. Seriously folks, shave anywhere they may go. You really don't want them handling this for you.

2) Be presentable. Ok, this is an obvious one, but let's say your number is really up. Again, you don't want people handling that stuff for you. Have that mani/pedi/wax up to date.

3) Anxiety level. Always high. This surgical center already told me I get a pass to pre-medicate.

4) Drink? Smoke? Same answer – socially. Don't let them think you're a crack whore, which is the look they give you if you tell them anything beyond "socially."

5) Pain level. Always a 10. It is the only way they give you any good drugs. Does that sound bad? You bet. Do you want to be handed Tylenol after someone has blown up your insides with gas and taken a laser to your insides? Hell no. I left my pre-op early because I was crying and the doctor couldn't watch me suffer any longer. There is no OTC medicine for that.

6) Ask for blankets – many, many blankets. I usually suffer from being cold on a regular basis but warmth is necessary.

7) If you have small to no veins, ask for a butterfly needle. Sorry to my medical professionals out there, I get that this is a severe inconvenience for you. But to date, I've only met one person who could actually get me in one stick and since they're nowhere near, I have no choice. The last thing you want is a nurse with a bad day who jams your IV line so far up and blows your only vein. Then insult to injury you're stuck with a swollen hand or arm.

8) DNR. Ok, that sounds morbid but DNR. I'm good with "el fin" over being a vegetable that people come to look at like a circus freak. I've lived enough of my life as a circus freak, train wreck of a friend… you guys don't need to witness that when I can't talk and will have to haunt you and stuff.

Be a complete pain in the ass if they don't listen, which in my experience is often (unless again, you're lucky to know someone there and I don't have that luck). That brings me to legacy… more to come.

Carry On, Life...

Don't mind me, Universe. I'm just the one you keep messing with. I know it's a ton of fun for you and heck, I don't blame you. Who wouldn't want to watch some decent slapstick comedy G-injuries... and me falling flat on my face emotionally?

I just wanted a simple life and to share that. While I appreciate the chaos leading to some interesting times, I am exhausted from it all.

Any chance you could just finish me off? I assure you, I will go willingly and quietly.

Smooches,

Tuesday, November 10, 2015

Invisible Hurdles

November 10

Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.

Jelaluddin Rumi

Today, notice three of those barriers against love.