Forever young

May God bless and keep you always
May your wishes all come true
May you always do for others
And let others do for you

May you build a ladder to the stars
And climb on every rung
May you stay
Forever young

Forever young
Forever young
May you stay
Forever young

May you grow up to be righteous
May you grow up to be true
May you always know the truth
And see the lights surrounding you

May you always be courageous
Stand upright and be strong
And may you stay
Forever young

Forever young
Forever young
May you stay
Forever young

May your hands always be busy
May your feet always be swift
May you have a strong foundation
When the winds of changes shift

May your heart always be joyful
May your song always be sung
And may you stay
Forever young

Forever young
Forever young
May you stay
Forever young

What I miss about 'Merica

It's so difficult being back in DC for work. I miss the intellectual discourse that used to take place here. I had the privilege of being here when Obama first won here...from the first win - and the nonstop carnival that took place right on my lawn through Osama's demise. So much good...so much hope. While there were arguments over policy, healthcare...now we argue that people are good and bad, not whether policy is right or wrong.

We live in a time of hateful demise. This town sometimes feels like a prison now, a ghost town of the hope and promise from where we were.

Love still exists here. But, this volatile world...wondering what will happen next. It's downright scary to be 4 short blocks from the White House, which used to inspire so many.

When will people just stop and realize that we are all just people? We are in a country that used to thrive on being a melting pot... different strokes for different folks.

Honestly, I'm exhausted by having to take a side. I want to talk to people about their issues...find common ground.

Yet that no longer exists...and I feel stuck being among the rational, adultier adults that recognizes the fact that until we start a true conversation, we can't reach solutions.

Whew...way too much thinking for such a long day.

Love your neighbor. Understand that it's ok to disagree, but respect their position. Learn from it.

I miss those days.

Smooches,
G

Rules of the road...

A friend of mine on Facebook provided her words of wisdom for her birthday...I really loved it so I thought I'd make my own.

Start your day with mimosas when possible. I'm updating this from "always start every vacation day with mimosas."
If there is a bathroom, stop and go. Seriously, you never know where the next one is. And most importantly, don't assume Mexican restaurants have public restrooms. They don't. (Please don't learn this the same way I did.)
Haricot vert are just green beans. (Don't be fooled by fancy names for ordinary things).
Avoid yelling, people are way more scared when you speak calmly when infuriated.
Treat everyone the same. Really, EVERYONE.
Someone will always be better than you and someone will always be worse. Why compete? Just be you because there's only one of those.
Make friends with everyone especially bartenders.
Know that friends and family, no matter how crazy, are what makes life worth living.
Laugh whenever you can and as loud as you can. If someone tells you laugh too loud, laugh harder.
Learn from everyone. This means to stop, look and listen. People are full of things you don't know, so hear what they have to tell you.
The smartest life lessons come from kids and dogs. Kids remember everything, especially every time you paid attention and every time you didn't. Some of my greatest life joys are when kids remember that I took the time to watch their plays, let them have fun and do something crazy. Dogs teach you how to be a better person, love unconditionally and remind you that it's the little things make you happy.
Be assertive, not bossy.
Forgive. You don't have to forget, but holding anger or grudges gets you nowhere.
Smile. It's free and makes everyone around you happier.
Money can't make you happy, but sharing your wealth is what makes you rich.
Do the things you said you would.
Under promise, over deliver.
There is nothing wrong with singing loudly and out of tune in grocery stores or other places that play the tunes that everyone else wants to sing out loud to (thanks Shoprite!)
Say no to shots, most importantly tequila. (When you break this rule, carbs are the key to survival)
Say please and thank you.
Don't expect to be given anything. Luck is the residue of hard work.

"Wherever Is Your Heart"

It's been a tough few weeks, lost a job opportunity that seemed all but sealed, work has reached insane levels o' crazy, lost a dryer, 1/2 of the electricity at home and my sweet loving dog decided to unearth yet another "bunny rescue" mission by finding a nest in the backyard. I'm so beyond exhausted and defeated... only made worse by not having my superhero here to keep me sane. I guess I'm spoiled for being so used to having my best friend, sanity saver and partner in crime all rolled into one and at home with me.

Happy he's out experiencing a little bit of the world... but hoping he realizes the same thing I do whenever I have to leave for work, that there's no place like home.

"Wherever Is Your Heart"

I think it's time we found a way back home
You lose so many things you love as you grow
I missed the days when I was just a kid
My fear became my shadow, I swear it did

Wherever is your heart I call home
Wherever is your heart I call home
Though your feet may take you far from me, I know
Wherever is your heart I call home

You made me feel like I was always falling
Always falling down without a place to land
Somewhere in the distance I heard you calling
Oh it hurts so bad to let go of your hand

Wherever is your heart I call home
Wherever is your heart I call home
Though your feet may take you far from me, I know
Wherever is your heart I call home

Even when you're high, you can get low
Even with your friends you love, you're still alone
We always find the darkest place to go
God forgive our minds, we were born to roam

Wherever is your heart I call home
Wherever is your heart I call home
Though your feet may take you far from me, I know
Wherever is your heart I call home

Oh God forgive my mind, oh God forgive my mind
When I come home, when I come home
Oh God forgive my mind
There's a road that's long and winding, it hollers home
I'm calling home

Oh God forgive my mind, oh God forgive my mind
When I come home, when I come home
Oh God forgive my mind, oh God forgive my mind
When I come home, when I come home

Wherever is your heart I call home
Wherever is your heart I call home
Though your feet may take you far from me, I know
Wherever is your heart I call home

Wherever is your heart I call home
Wherever is your heart I call home
Though your feet may take you far from me, I know
Wherever is your heart I call home

The stuff that makes life worth living

A lot going on...but fell upon these comments from one of my sweet lil' people...I may only be a fur mom but nothing melts my heart than these kids remembering times with their crazy "Aunt G".

I don't feel like I do much right in life, but knowing that they think I did something right makes it worthwhile.

The Promise

A big shout out to Mr. Chris Cornell.... sorry I was too sick when I saw you to appreciate the show, but truth be told, I appreciate you more sans Soundgarden. For those that don't like to read... (but the lyrics are awesome), https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WPiJ79Ure1I

The Promise
If I had nothing to my name
But photographs of you
Rescued from the flames
That is all I would ever need
As long as I can read
What's written on your face
The strength that shines
Behind your eyes
The hope and light
That will never die

And one promise you made
One promise that always remains
No matter the price
A promise to survive
Persevere and thrive
As we've always done

And you said
"The poison in a kiss
Is the lie upon the lips"
Truer words were never shared
When I feel
Like lies are all I hear
I pull my memories near
The one thing they can't take

And one promise you made
One promise that always remains
No matter the price
A promise to survive
Persevere and thrive
As we've always done

The books still open on the table
The bells still ringing in the air
The dreams still clinging to the pillow
The songs still singing in a prayer

Now my soul
Is stretching through the roots
To memories of you
Back through time and space
To carry home
The faces and the names
And these photographs of you
Rescued from the flames

And one promise you made
One promise that always remains
No matter the price
A promise to survive
Persevere and thrive
And dare to rise once more
A promise to survive
Persevere and thrive
And fill the world with life
As we've always done

Breathing...

My oldest friend who stood by me when I was the unaccepted fat dork of a child who created her own research projects and wore huge ugly glasses posted this today. I have seen her twice in 20+ years, but sometimes it feels like what she writes gets right to me. She doesn't know that... nor does she know this blog exists (since realistically only a handful of people have known about it). But, I'd like to thank Deb for putting things in perspective. These are hard times and sad times... so here's to whatever better times lay ahead.

Or as Don Henley would say...
There are people in your life
Who've come and gone
They let you down
You know they hurt your pride
You better put it all behind you baby
'Cause life goes on
You keep carryin' that anger
It'll eat you up inside baby

I've been tryin' to get down
To the heart of the matter
Because the flesh will get weak
And the ashes will scatter
So, I'm thinkin' about forgiveness
Forgiveness

Quotes

"The question is isn't whether you should stay or go. The question is: How would your life be transformed if you chose to love this time with all your intelligence?" - Cheryl Strayed

Guess I'm not very smart, Ms. Strayed.

Sums up my week

Nothing beats a meme...

When you have none of your own words left.

Today in 15 seconds

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TcuYZCv3cKM

Enjoying the spoils

It's rare that I take a minute to stop and breathe in my own space. So here I am, beer in hand, enjoying the spoils of what I've worked my ass off for every day...

Sun, comfy chair and backyard. Music blasting... life is good today. Need more moments like this.

Pop song

Sometimes you're just a girl who really misses her boy.

https://youtu.be/gG4YoG9i8qM

Every day is a chance to get better...

These days, I've slowed my roll when it comes to posting on social media. It's exhausting having to respond or having people think they know you, when they don't. I'll wish everyone a happy birthday... maybe share a funny post or two, but, I'm losing the urge to participate in online life.

So why am I posting here? This has always been my sacred little go-to place, which is it can't be found unless you have the link. Very few people bother to read this or check it, so it's typically where I can be myself.

Here's the truth: I'm tired. I'm so painfully, desperately drained when it comes to the game of life. That's not exactly the sorta thing that Facebook likes, or actually, it's the exact thing some people on Facebook loves because then it allows people to feel like they're part of some special drama.

Someone posted "every day is a chance to get better," which apparently was for their son's baseball game. Funny how sometimes those things take on way different meaning when you read them.

I'm hoping for better. Way, way better.

Music helps... here's lyrics from a favorite:

Some people stay far away from the door
If there's a chance of it opening up
They hear a voice in the hall outside
And hope that it just passes by

Some people live with the fear of a touch
And the anger of having been a fool
They will not listen to anyone
So nobody tells them a lie

I know you're only protecting yourself
I know you're thinking of somebody else
Someone who hurt you
But I'm not above
Making up for the love
You've been denying you could ever feel
I'm not above doing anything
To restore your faith if I can
Some people see through the eyes of the old
Before they ever get a look at the young
I'm only willing to hear you cry
Because I am an innocent man
I am an innocent man
Oh yes I am

Some people say they will never believe
Another promise they hear in the dark
Because they only remember too well
They heard somebody tell them before

Some people sleep all alone every night
Instead of taking a lover to bed
Some people find that it's easier to hate
Than to wait anymore

I know you don't want to hear what I say
I know you're gonna keep turning away
But I've been there and if I can survive
I can keep you alive
I'm not above going through it again
I've not above being cool for a while
If you're cruel to me I'll understand

Some people run from a possible fight
Some people figure they can never win
And although this is a fight I can lose
The accused is an innocent man
I am an innocent man
Oh yes I am
An innocent man

You know you only hurt yourself out of spite
I guess you'd rather be a martyr tonight
That's your decision
But I'm not below
Anybody I know
If there's a chance of resurrecting a love
I'm not above going back to the start
To find out where the heartache began

Some people hope for a miracle cure
Some people just accept the world as it is
But I'm not willing to lay down and die
Because I am an innocent man

 

Ways to Know Today is Not Your Day

1) Being stuck in some much traffic that you're racing for a train.

2) Slipping while getting on said train.

3) The red cap luggage people asking for help because they think you're pregnant.

4) Getting a seat only to wonder why you're soaking wet because you're literally the only train seat that has water pouring down from the rain.

5) Knowing that all of this only leads to 3 full days of work travel.

6) Hurting from feeling like no matter how all of the above happened, you're more sad about how the bigger picture is going.

Life happens... but sometimes things just really suck.

All of the above

Not sure if it was the personal pickup, the excited dog or all the work I've been doing on myself... but for the first time ever the only thing that comes to mind as it is so good to be home. There's just nothing like coming home. So many long work weeks ahead of her once I feel like I just can't wait to be back where I belong.

Yeehaw...

I'm the last person who would ever thought that I would enjoy country music, despite how many of my friends love it. Admittedly, it has slowly grown on me over the last decade. I found myself not only watching Country Strong but downloading the album, same for Weary Kind from Crazy Heart. (Ok, yes, I do have a soundtrack addiction.)

All that aside, this song is one that sticks out. I didn't realize that I've been humming it in my head for about 21 months now. I was so excited about meeting someone so special, that I literally had a full-blown panic attack that everything was so right that something had to be wrong. I really wasn't used to things going right.

Struggling with a racing pulse, I curled up into him and asked him to calm me down. He sang this song...worked like a charm. My guess is it would still work...but I will always remember that moment being totally vulnerable and trusting all at the same time. Not exactly my typical self and I'm glad that I wasn't.

Seriously...

Long hard life search...the person who completes me is the one that finds the humor in this meme, but also knows it would be an actual conversation between us.

Finding love on the internets

I've managed to fall in love twice online. The first time, was with deep brown soulful eyes, dark black complexion and very furry. Today is the second anniversary of the day my life would first change for the better. The day that I would become responsible for caring for someone else. I still remember how nervous I was to meet my sweet dog. I had no idea how much she and I had in common - both coming from recently, rough pasts; needing to be nursed back to health. It was an easy road but she was so gentle and chill, we made our way through. She's learned to be by my side whenever I'm sick, and loves to try to derail my stress by rolling around in the grass and staring at me.

What both of us didn't know is that just a few months later, we would fall for another special someone online. My dog and I staring at his picture (because you always need your dog's approval) and listening to him when we first spoke on the phone. He was more excited to meet her, which I actually took as a good sign.

Well, we've all been through a lot since, but we've managed to make ourselves a little family ruled by our furry leader (Lisa). She lets us sit on the couch occasionally...she loves to watch hockey with her dad. And, she also loves sneaking upstairs for a cuddle with me too.

For all the stress and crap we go through, having each other is a pretty great thing. It's made the house a home...one that we were all desperately seeking. You can't beat that.

Smooches
G

Every Brilliant Thing

Today isn't the easiest of days for me. It's become a day of reflection. It's hard to believe that 4 years have gone by...when I thought life was opening a new and somewhat final chapter for me.

Turns out, life had other plans beyond what I had expected. While I'm a fan of plot twists and turns, I don't know that anyone saw what was to come.

It hasn't been easy or pretty. It's been a long, tough road and I have the scars to prove it. I know now that life won't stop there. Another year, another battle. I still do my best to remain inspired.

On my own today, I fell upon two things that hit home. The first was the HBO special, Every Brilliant Thing, which was a beautifully written and well acted play about someone struggling to cope with his mother's depression and ultimate suicide. How he had to transform his life to create beauty in the hopes he could show his mother that life was worth living.

It was mind blowing, tear jerking and relatable.

The second was 3 Facebook posts from my man, Marc Broussard which chronicled his journey with his now wife. A story I had no idea about and made me admire a woman who embodies unconditional love and support. I realize I'm incredibly biased but when he describes how his wife's love changed him just by being there and never faltering...gave me chills and hope.

If you get time, both are worth the watch and the read.

2017 is coming fast. It is certainly not set up to be a smooth merry go round. Time to buckle up for the new roller coaster and try to enjoy the ride.

Smooches
G