Office Space

I really wish that I could write in detail about where I work... but, I have a mortgage to pay and can't really afford to get shit-canned, as I believe the expression goes.

Henceforth therefore, I must rely on the stories of other people, to make you laugh. NOTE: Do not read this while eating, but enjoy!!

Thanks to this lovely contributor and hopefully new Bloggy reader.

Smooch!
-G



So here's the latest from my office.


*Someone* is angry: There is a phantom booger-wiper in the ladies' room. The culprit wipes boogies on the stall walls. Complaints were made, so now security is involved. They got the plain clothed undercover women in there, it's a whole thing. So we are at the edge of our seats, wondering who it is! We know it's someone from the other side of the floor, b/c they had the same problem when they were on the 50th floor. Well. She is getting cocky (pun). Yesterday, someone, and we are certain it's the booger lady, left a load of dookie OUTSIDE the ladies room entrance. Yes, kiddies, in the hallway. So the whole security team is up here, they covered the poo with a box--which kills me-- and I am sure launched an in-depth investigation. I'm waiting for them to bring in the hounds. This has happened before, when someone crapped the floor in the Ladies', but we chalked that up to an emergency or bad aim. (God, did that STINK. Ugh.) Now I am not so sure.


Could you imagine? I think they should do DNA testing.


I decided that I am going to work up a profile of this stealth bomber. So far all I have is that it's a woman. haha! Seriously, I think it's a woman, she is possibly a loner, b/c I couldnt do that and not be like, "hey you guys, guess what i did!??" you know? I also think she may be overweight. Dont know why, call it a hunch. I also think she may wear dresses, so she can just be like, plop, and move on.


Anyway, I'll keep you posted. [cue Law and Order theme]