There's a reason that the South will rise again

Wow. I thought leaving Jersey was hard... Overwhelming response down here about my eminent departure. Unhappy people fighting for me to stay. So sweet of everyone to fight over my geographical location. Ultimately, everyone, I need to finally be selfish and choose what's going to work best for me.

No, I don't know what that is.... yet. But, I'm working on it. My hetero-lifemate, my advisor de futura, everyone... have been giving me instrumental and amazing advice. I really just need to sort through everything... but you're ongoing, undying support and love for me is amazing and I'm incredibly grateful for all of you.

Love,
Gina

He's Here!

Some times, my friends... its the little things. As I walked in the door this evening, I walked to the table and lo and behold... there he was.

That's right, its about that time of year. The time I hold so dear.... Christmas time is here! And debuting here... the 2006 Hallmark Snowman!

Since I know last year this was confusing, let me state for the record or whoever has me for Secret Santa... YES, I would like a Hallmark Snowman for Christmas.

:-)

Smooch,
G

PS - this post is for Schmeff, who once again, promised me despite how shitty life is right now, that Christmas will come this year. I guess there's a superpower in all of us. Schmeffy, it would appear that yours is Christmas... and since we all know how I feel about Christmas, it would appear you'll never be able to rid yourself of me.

For those of you not looped in...

I have a meeting at 2 PM on Saturday with a realtor. My place goes up for sale... Like I said in last post, all signs point to NJ....

In the meantime... dare I answer this reporter request... chime in.

Smooch,
G


NON-EXPERT: Always a Bridesmaid, Not Yet a Bride? -- Producer

I am working on a segment for a national daytime show and am looking for women who are dealing with the wedding blitz. Do you feel like you are at that point in your life when all of your girlfriends are constantly talking about engagements and weddings? Is engagement and marriage (their engagement or their wedding) the topic of every discussion lately? As exciting as it is, are you a tiny bit fed up and want some tips on how to survive the wedding craze? I want to hear from all of you ladies who are not at that point in your life and want an outlet to discuss how you, and a lot of other ladies, feel.

Expanding the Fight...

Why hasn't G blogged? I know, I sorry. I've been swamped. I threw an office party so good it made various visitors throw up in a hotel lobby (can't blame them considering when the food stopped, trays of shots appeared)... although I couldn't make the after party (even after a co-worker told me to "Jersey up" and come out), I heard it was a blast too.

Anyway, this wknd, I made it back to the world of Mt. L, where I managed to expand the fight over where G should live.

At my sis-in-law's shower (countdown to Baby Mangiaracina begins soon), I was chatting with a former neighbor who was talking about a few kids that had moved away and came back to start families, etc.
I said "everyone comes back to Jersey."
My neighbor quickly responded, "when will we see you back here"
I said "you never can tell."

Sis-in-law was in ear shot (rule #1 - never EVER piss off a prego), and she said "she's NOT coming back. she will be staying down south."

Umm... ummmm...

I have to admit, if she can train my niece the same way you Jersey kids have so evily trained your kids to like me so darn much, then I'm kinda screwed. However, if not, I'm all yours!

:-)

Actually, the way things are headed these days, all signs point north, just not NYC. At least, not at the moment.

Miss you all.

love,
G

Thankful I don't have neighbors

G's sports terrets is in full force today... btwn my Eagles and my driver, Harvick.... Ah, showing my full South Jersey-ness. Thank goodness my neighbors moved, b/c I'm bound to have had a noise violation already.

I am having a bad day...

it didn't start out that way... I went to the 'Bucks for iced coffee and a $3.50 yogurt parfait... which is the most unreasonable price for milk cultures and granola... but i had a spring in my step...

then, as i turned through the revolving door of my building, i pulled a G... complete cartoonesque skid across the lobby, landing in a perfect split, with the grace of nancy kerrigan's smack down to the floor.

ow.

i thought it was just embarrassing, but here i am, laid up, with elevated foot.

ugh.

cheerful words of encouragement, or someone to dress me in Charmin appreciated.

smooch,
G

Havin' a Good Time, Schmotty??

Couldn't resist this picture from the Schmeffster wedding... Sadly, this isn't the end of the night, this is Schmotty 2 Hotty being introduced as the Best Man.

What can I say? That M12 knows how to eat, drink and be merry. :-)

Hee hee, enjoy.

Love,
G

I'd Play the Lottery If I Were You....

Double hit winner day!

If you didn't get the email, I'm proud to say, that my ADAA Women Talk calendars (thanks to those who bought them) just received the Health Information Award Silver Ribbon from the Health Information Resource Center. Those of you long-time readers will remember these calendars as the ones which arrived blue and after weeks of negotiation finally re-appeared in their initial silver hue that I anticipated.

I remain blown away… that 2 awards entries of my work there were entered and both won.

But that's not all folks... hats off to my heterolifemate, Melissa who also had her own PR coop with the launch of TMX Elmo, which is selling out of all toy stories around the country as we speak.

If you haven't seen him yet, I'd look for my furry red friend in late Jan/early Feb during the hottest game of the year!

If anyone ever told me that she and I would be hundreds of miles away, yet still kickin' butt, I'd have laughed my bum off. But, here we both are thousands of years later, actually being recognized beyond being "the Atkins pr gals"...

I guess when we weren't being so busy at being "embarrassments" to our company, we picked up a thing or two about doing a good job in our field.

Yes, I know I already sorta bragged about the first award and I'm sorry for tooting my own horn again. But, keep in mind, the only award I've ever received prior to these was for the "kindest heart" in 5th grade. Which, let's face it, was only because they didn't have anything to really award me with...

But, as I said in my email, I couldn't have done any of this without the support I get from all you (or all y'all in Southern terms) every day.

Thanks for making me be a kool kid and believing in the under dog.

smooch,
G

Finally, Research I Can Get Behind...

Drinking to Wealth
By Alice Park Thursday, Sep. 14, 2006 Permalink

If fifty million Frenchmen can’t be wrong, then enjoying a glass of wine every day can’t be all that bad for you. And recent studies have been bearing this out, documenting the possible health benefits of consuming a moderate amount of alcohol –- up to a glass of wine a day, for example. Libation in moderation, it seems, can help to keep the heart healthy and the circulatory system robust, as well as aid in digestion.

But economists have also been interested in the potential up side to imbibing, and researchers at San Jose State University report in the Journal of Labor and Research that people who drink socially make up to 14% more money than teetotalers. Using a national survey of Americans representing a cross section of different demographic and salary groups, the economists found that while drinkers in general made more money than non drinkers, men who drank socially in bars enjoyed a 7% additional boost in their salaries than men who drank alone or outside of bars. (Women hanging out in bars at least once a month did not gain any additional monetary advantage.)

What it means: Bethany Peters and Edward Stingham, the authors of the study, speculate that the added income of the drinkers comes from their greater social networking and social skills. People generally enjoy a beer or glass of wine with friends or colleagues, and those who drink may be building a network of potentially useful job contacts that enables them to not just remain employed but even upgrade their status to a higher paying job more easily. While the authors don’t address it, however, previous research on excessive drinking supports the fact that these benefits, as with the health benefits, drop off after a certain point. The study also doesn’t specific exactly how much drinking the over 8000 subjects did, and instead asked the respondents if they drank at all or abstained, and how often they visited a bar or tavern.

Peters and Stringham’s theory also assumes that there is a significant group of teetotalers; in other words, in order for the drinkers to benefit from their bigger Blackberry contacts, there have to be non drinkers who don’t enjoy the same advantage. After all, the average income in France, where alcohol is part of the culture, is around $25,000 while the average salary in the U.S. is nearly twice that amount.

Mushy Pooh...

Totally sums up my two points of this blog...

Let's start with poo...
After well over 36 hours of fasting, 6 1/2 hours of "evacuating my system" and overall sheer delirium.. I'm happy to report that both my colon and small intestine are as clean as a whistle. No polyps, cancer or endo... I did ask if I could have the pictures for Christmas cards, but they said that someone already used that idea there. So, I'm going to avoid duplication. While under sedation, I also told the nurse and her asst about my blog, because they were talking about blogs and how they never read one. It would be way awkward if they happen upon this site. And while they don't read this site, much thanks to the 'rents for tolerating a sleep and food deprived G (which involved a lot of quotes like "jesus christ, dad, please stop cleaning my freezer") Not sure what the next fun test will be, but I'll keep you all posted.

Onward to mush...
I was explaining to my gal pal down here about my Jersey peeps and how good they are to me. In the middle of my story, she said "this is so sweet, you're going to make me cry." I kept on with the stories of my weekend, and sure enough, I looked up from my babbling and there she was, sniffling away. She said "you're so lucky, you have the best friends in the world."

Someone else I was talking to said "you know what.. you just have too many friends".

I thought to myself, that may be true, but if they're the best in the business, than I guess I can't do much better than that. :-)

I'm a lucky gal, that I know... and right now, y'all are lucky too, because I'm not posting pics of my own mushy poo.

hee hee....

Thanks to everyone for their continued love and concern.

Smooches,
G

The Good Thing is that Eventually the World Catches Up...

Freshly back from the Schmeffster RI wedding, and while I'm maxin' and relaxin' by reading this month's issue of Glamour, I noticed an article on breathalyzer cell phones. For those of you first-time callers, long-time readers, may I remind you that Nicole invented this concept about a year ago...

Sad to say, but I'm afraid the editors of Glamour are now stealin' their material from my blog!

Big smooches go out the M12 crowd for another fun time... special thanks to my guys and gals for making this one so much fun.

Love,
G

Thanks iVana

Due to my recent birthday gift of iVana, the iPod, it seems a lot of my life is taking place in lyrics. So, I'm going to keep boring you with lyrics along the way. But more importantly, as I prepare to leave for the Schmeffster wedding, a few things:

This morning on the Metro, the conductor stopped the train to tell me he liked my hat. Which made me have yet another epiphany. There are people all around you that make your world a better place. This person didn't know me, completely unaware of the crap I've been going through the last few weeks. I had my head leaning against the window of the train and something struck him to stop everything and tell me that. To me, that's one of the things that makes life so amazing. He had no clue the impact he made on just one person.

I have been struck by a random act of kindness... and I'm sure I've had alot of these moments, but today and maybe for the first time, I took a minute to realize it, and allowed it to bring clarity to what I'm going through and where I am.

Schmeff has always joked through this whole health ordeal that I'm facing with that "they will rebuild G, make her better and stronger." I've always laughed at, thinking to myself, if I was a horse, I'd be glue by now.

And while I hate admitting it, he's right. Because I've finally realized, its not the outcomes or "the fix", its the building part I never took the time to concentrate on. I don't want to be fixed anymore, I want to be rebuilt. I will be stronger.

And I've also recognized, this is not based on help of just myself or someone else... but it's in fact a team effort.

So kids, with that, I know that for the first time, I'm asking for everyone's understanding and help. And to the people over the past few weeks that have been providing it, I thank you over and over again and promise you it will be repayed 10-fold.

Have an awesome weekend everyone... I leave you with some more lyrics from iVana.

Love,
G

Wait a minute man
You mispronounced my name
You didn't wait for all the information
Before you turned me away

Wait a minute sir
You kind of hurt my feelings
You see me as a sweet back-loaded puppet
And you've got a meal ticket taste

I see right through you
I know right through you
I feel right through you
I walk right through you

You took me for a jokeYou took me for a child
You took a long hard look at my ass
And then played golf for a while
Your shake is like a fish
You pat me on the head
You took me out to wine dine sixty nine
But didn't hear a damn word

I saidI see right through you
I know right through you
I feel right through you
I walk right through you

Hello Mr. Man
You didn't think that I'd come back
You didn't think I'd show up with my army
And this ammunition on my back
Now that I'm Miss Thing
Now that I'm a zillionaire
You scan the credits for your name
And wonder why it's not there

Goodbye My NYC....

It does intend seem, that I find myself homeless. A product of an evolving world, where life doesn't revolve around me and things continue to erode. Dag, that's poetic. Ok, so, rough day, 1/2 bottle of wine later and we have uncensored G.

To answer your question, I don't know who deleted a comment off my blog... sorry.

Second point, in regards to above, Melissa was sad to report that our dear Market Diner (the NYC diner across from our old boss' apt) has closed its doors. While the food was as good as another diner, the Market Diner served as one of the milestones in our heterolifemate friendship. I'll recap for those of you who weren't there.

Market Diner circa 2000
(Enter Gina - who sees Melissa and joins her at table)

Gina: Good Morning
Melissa: Hmmm.
Gina: What?
Melissa: Um, nothing
Gina (to waitress): I'll have a coffee, eggs and bacon please.
Melissa: YOU had sex last night.
Gina: What?
Melissa: Oh yes. You did. I see it.
Gina (turning pink): You're crazy.
Melissa: Nope, you did. Didn't you? Dirty girl.
Gina (turning red): Um... (to waitress) THE COFFEE.
Melissa: HA! I knew it!

(Enter bossman - views Gina's red face and Melissa as she sips her tea w/milk)

Bossman: What's going on here?

Girls: UM, nothing!

:-)

That's a brief recap... we won't say who it was with, but she was right and my sex life was never my own again. Didn't matter if it was a kiss or more, that girl always and to this very day, STILL knows. Her damn superpowers can sense it over the phone.

Which makes it impossible to not love her even more.

Smooches... I'm off to Rhode Island tomorrow!

Love,
G

There's a Reason Why I Will Always Perservere and Survive...

Simple lyrics to match a simple truth... Thank you to all of you out there, who make my life possible... And Are you Psyched for Wedding #352!!! Yahoo! Smooch, G

Blame it all on my roots
I showed up in boots
And ruined your black tie affair
The last one to know
The last one to show
I was the last one
You thought you'd see there
And I saw the surprise
And the fear in his eyes
When I took his glass of champagne
And I toasted you
Said, honey, we may be through
But you'll never hear me complain

'Cause I've got friends in low places
Where the whiskey drowns
And the beer chases my blues away
And I'll be okay
I'm not big on social graces
Think I'll slip on down to the oasis
Oh, I've got friends in low places

Well, I guess I was wrong
I just don't belong
But then, I've been there before
Everything's all right
I'll just say goodnight
And I'll show myself to the door
Hey, I didn't mean
To cause a big scene
Just give me an hour and then
Well, I'll be as high As that ivory tower
That you're livin' in

'Cause I've got friends in low places
Where the whiskey drowns
And the beer chases my blues away
And I'll be okay I'm not big on social graces
Think I'll slip on down to the oasis
Oh, I've got friends in low places

I guess I was wrong I just don't belong
But then, I've been there before
And everything is alright
I'll just say goodnight
And I'll show myself to the door
I didn't mean to cause a big scene
Just wait 'til I finish this glass
Then sweet little lady
I'll head back to the bar
And you can kiss my ass

In Memory of Crikey...

Of course you've heard the news about the untimely death of the Crocodile Hunter. So, I must pay a very brief tribute, not for his amazing work with the reptile kingdom, but for the fact that he gave me one of the best words of all time... Crikey.

Crikey has many uses, and has grown with such popularity. I believe I began using it in circa 2000, but I'll allow Melissa and Schmeff to correct me if I'm wrong. In fact, soon after I heard my brother say crikey, I immediately realized it was too mainstream, thus trying to unsuccessfully phase out crikey and use Crimney as a replacement. In honor of Mr. Irwin, I'm going to keep Crikey in full rotation in my vocabulary.

Have a good night, for Crikey's sake.

Smooch,
G

I Know You're Worried...

I've heard through the grapevine everyone is on edge about my last post. I'll be ok. I've got a lot people who are giving me a lot of love right now. I really appreciate it. Jersey kidz - Thank you for your emails... all will be well.

In the meantime, it's marathon doctor week for G. I'm no Katie Couric, but I'm half tempted to webcast my upcoming tests.

Write more later....

-G

PS Being that I practically live in them now, if I show up somewhere in a medical gown instead of clothes, please just give me heads up.

In case you didn't get the memo...

I'm crazy and childlike. Or so I'm told. But fear not, dear readers.... I have finally come up with my plan. It's a goodie, and I hate to keep you in suspense, but it requires a "planning and researching" phase. FYI, I've already told the 'rents and they're in full support. Ok, one more teaser... if the plan works out, yes, NJ folks, it means I would be back in the Garden State.

In the meantime, apparently, I'm really good at pissing off people these days... so this goes out to y'all.

I have to block out thoughts of you, so I don't lose my head
They crawl in like a cockroach leaving babies in my bed
Dropping little reels of tape to remind me that I'm alone
Playing movies in my head that make a porno feel like home
There's a burning in my pride, a nervous bleeding in my brain
An ounce of peace is all I want for you, Will you never call again?
And will you never say that you love me just to put it in my face
And will you never try to reach me, it is I that wanted space

Hate me today.
Hate me tomorrow.
Hate me for all the things I didn't do for you.
Hate me in ways, yeah ways hard to swallow.
Hate me so you can finally see what's good for you.

I'm sober now for 3 whole months, it's one accomplishment that you helped me with.
The one thing that always tore us apart is the one thing I won't touch again.
In my sick way I want to thank you for holding my head up late at night
While I was busy waging wars on myself, you were trying to stop the fight
You never doubted my warped opinions on things like suicide or hate
You made me compliment myself when it was way too hard to take
So I'll drive so fucking far away that I'll never cross your mind
And do whatever it takes in your heart to leave me behind

Hate me today.
Hate me tomorrow.
Hate me for all the things i didn't do for you.
Hate me in ways, yeah ways hard to swallow.
Hate me so you can finally see what's good for you.

And with a sad heart I say bye to you and wave
Kicking shadows on the street for every mistake that I have made
And like a baby boy I never was a man
Until I saw your blue eyes cry and I held your face in my hand
And then I fell down yelling "Make it go away!"
Just make her smile come back and shine just like it used to be
And then she whispered "How can you do this to me?"

Hate me today.
Hate me tomorrow.
Hate me for all the things i didn't do for you.
Hate me in ways, yeah ways hard to swallow.
Hate me so you can finally see what's good for you.

Learning to be a grown up...

Ok, so I've been censored by the Schmeffster for telling y'all a really funny story, which does nothing more than show just how immature I am. However, to prove that I can be mature, I have promised to be at my best behavior during his wedding. Alright, I'm going to try to be on my best behavior... I am after all, me. Little does he know that this whole censorship and maturity thing is his wedding gift.

At any rate... so, went on a (yes, unmarried) date Sunday... seriously, the best, most intellectually stimulating conversation I've had since I've been dating down here. So, now that we know where this story winds up... he's of course not interested.

Other than that, I think I've won the great Christmas debate... so thanks to those who wrote in... while Roomie doesn't read the blog, I told him that he was losing in the court of public opinion. Lawyers hate to lose... it's the best tidbit I've learned thus far.

I'm off to the great state of Texas tomorrow... I hope all is well with everyone.

Smooch,
G

G Meets Nature

Really. I went hiking for the first time this weekend at Great Falls... I even jumped rocks, missed and got wet in the Potomac. But it was fun. Also reminded me of the time I was climbing a waterfall in Jamaica and Schmotty let go of my hand, thus dropping me down a rock.

But I still love him, so that's ok. Just like it's ok for him to drunk dial me at midnight on Saturday, just to tell me that everyone is ugly but can drink in Boston.... while in the middle of a very crowded Boston bar.

Sorry, Boston... those Jersey boyz on a bender are a force to be reckoned with....

Smooch.

-G

Help Me Save Xmas

Ok, I need a grassroots effort here. Apparently, under diress, I promised Roomie that if he let me do my version of Christmas last year, that this year could be his. Um, not even. Roomie is trying to come between me and my tree. He wants a TABLETOP TREE, with "his" decorations (read: none). SOS, people. SOS.

He said, I'd be allowed to decorate my room. But, I don't think I can have an entire Christmas party in my room. Which reminds me, Dec. 2 for all who'd like to join us.

Help!

-G

Oh Boy.

Thanks to everyone who's been calling to check in on me. I don't have any health updates yet, other than the next few weeks I'll be splitting my time between working like crazy and an attractive assortment of hospital gowns. If y'all are really lucky, I'm going to start asking for pics of these medical tests... I figure what better Xmas card than one straight from one of my internal organs.

At any rate, second question after "How are you feeling?" is "Any new boys?" It seems you kidz really love the tales from the dating crypt.

So, here's an update. Yes, there have been some boys. I went on a date this week in fact. Nice guy... but like always, I seem to go on a lot of first dates, so if we hit a second, I'll keep you posted.

But this tale ain't about him... this one is another prospect that I was supposed to meet.

So, this guy was super funny, really enjoyed his emails, etc. We were supposed to get together, but then this morning I received the following in my email inbox:

Subject: Jason's Wife
Body:

G,
Just becuase I think you should know the truth. Jason is still married to me and will be until Jan, and he has a son that is 16 mo old that he sees 4 hours a week. His choice. I don't want anyone is get hurt mainly you. I don't care if you date him, meet or not... Just thought women to women you should know.
-Extremely pissed off future ex-wife (Ok, for the sake of privacy, she gave her name, but I removed it)

Whoa, dude. Whoa. How did I possible miss the fact that this guy was a complete liar? Well, here's the tip off, he claims to be a retail manager making $150K a year! Really need to start reading those things better.

Anyway, I decided to do the right thing... and sent the following response:

Dear Extremely pissed off future ex-wife,


Although I haven't even met Jason, I appreciate you telling me. I was not aware of this.
I'm very sorry that so many men are such scum in this world. I hope both you and I find one that isn't, b/c I'm told they're out there.

-G

Now, I sat and re-read this for awhile and then I figured... well why stop there. I forwarded the wife's note to this Jason-character with the following:

Before I even get a chance to answer your email... I got this one. Looks like you might have some stuff to work out.
It's a shame, your emails were quite funny and you seemed like a decent guy.
Good luck.
-G

Seriously, why are there so many bad men in this world!?!

And yes, I know the majority of you are responding "no, there's not... there's plenty of good men." And my comment back is, you know what, then prove it to me. Because, ladies, you better hold on to your married fellas and hope they're only holding on to you. And men, if you are good, than please stay that way... according to the laws of supply and demand, the world is already filled with a surplus of dickheads.

Ok, with all that said, I realize that my contest clearly deserves more incentives. I don't know what y'all could possibly want beyond me moving to your area but I've come up with a few thoughts:

1. A monthly supply of my famous chunky pecan bars for life
2. Sunday morning pancakes per request
3. I will come to your house every December and decorate it so that it looks like Christmas threw up. Ask Schmeff, I mean business when it comes to Christmas.
4. You have the choice of either a) keeping my first born (and right now it would quite helpful we did this transaction sooner rather than later) or b) naming my first born (yes, any name... the kid's gonna hate you, not me).
5. I also possess a talent for handmade soaps, so, I'll keep your house stocked in those too.

I'm sure there's more, but for the right guy, I'm willing to pay the price.

Smooch,
G

A little piece of home on the silver screen...

For those of you who don't know, I've been under the weather the last few weeks. Now, don't get all worried, I'm sure once I actually get my doctor on the phone that he'll finally decide to help me out. But, to cover my bets, I'm seeing a new doc this week (in between ultrasounds and a trip to nyc)...

As a sign that I'm actually maturing, I did the right thing and stayed in town this weekend to try to relax and rest up for my biz trips to nyc this week and dallas next. But, this only bummed me out further.

I cooked (i even diced food). I ran errands. I cleaned. I went grocery shopping. Now, I know a few of you have stopped reading to book your travel down here, b/c this is a tell tale sign that I'm unwell.

So, after having to take a nap b/c i got tired from a pedicure, i decided it was make or break time. I needed to do something.

That something came in the form of going to the first movie I saw in the theater since Brokeback Mountain.

What's a Jersey Girl who's homesick to do? Go see Clerks 2 of course.

Definitely didn't disappoint, although I think you may need to be from Jersey to actually get it.

So, while I'm sorry to my South J peeps that I couldn't make it the trip... I was with you in the spirit of Jay and Silent Bob.

A special happy birthday to Kerri and Gretchen, I wish I could've been there in person.

Smooch,
G

New Blog Contest!

There's been a lot of people asking me to move back to Jersey... ok, not like the entire state, but still, I have written proof!

Anyway... I've decided, despite not consulting my advisora to futura, Mr. M. Mixologist, that I will leave my fate in the hands of you.

This contest is simple. First person to find G a suitable husband wins, well Me. I will meet whomever you'd like... old, young... preferably straight (although I do posess an expertise in finding the ones that think they are, but aren't).... doesn't have to be super rich, but hey, I don't want to work forever, either.

I'll move wherever you are... if there is a house in your neighborhood, I'll even buy it... and you'll never get rid of me.

I'm guessing this will finally end the "G move back to NJ" trend.

Good luck contestants... Oh, and Mr. M. Mixologist... just because you're my advisora de futura, you can still play too.

Smooches,
G

So, the other day, as we were celebrating bdays, my boss turned to my co-worker and said "how old did you turn?"

she said, ugh, 30.

boss said "just like G".

(pause)

boss said "well at least you can say you had a baby when you were in you 20s."

OY.

which got me thinking... what the hell have i been doing?

let's see:

1. i helped run one of the biggest news stories under 9/11 and iraq for a few years.

this would be cool, if my co-worker didn't manage to have a kid and get married during this time.

2. i stood beside upwards of 30 of my friends and family getting married.

again, would be cool, if i had anything to show for it.

3. i lived in 2 cities.

not sure why this would count for anything, but i do know people who never lived outside the state they were born in.

the bottom line... i have no clue what i did in my 20s... they were here, i remember ringing them in, now they're gone.

such is life i suppose.

i'm sure there is something amazing, but i haven't hit it yet, so if y'all come up with anything, be sure to let me know.

Who would I be if I wasn't G?

My patient readers...

As if introducing my dress addtiction to my new colleagues a few months ago wasn't enough. I went full force by showing them my little discussed Polish side.

In helping for my office move to "the Hill", not to be mistaken for "The Hills" (I heart that show) and not "downtown" to serious Washingtonians, I agreed to help populate a database (so corporate, populate) to let our clients, vendors. While searching our vendor database I came across this Web address: Whorepresents.com.

I read this two or three times to myself, in shock. Then I finally say out loud, "Um, is this a joke, why do we have a vendor for whore presents?"

My officemates, turn stunned.

Office: "Whore Presents?"

G: "Um, Yea. Whore Presents?"

Office: "Are you sure that's not a typo? Whore Presents?"

G: "I'm looking right at it! Whore Presents! Whore Presents, I tell you!"

Coworker: "Did you try looking it up?"

G: "Are you crazy, I'm not having porn loaded on my computer!"

(coworker types in site name)

Coworker: "Um.... It's.... Who Represents, a pr firm"

(hysterical laughter)

G: "Thank you, I'll be here all week"

Now, I could've let it go, but why? I mean Whore Presents. That's friggin funny. So, then they start talking about the new Will Farrell NASCAR film. This is where I not only reveal I'm 1/2 Polish, but 1/4 hick thanks to my South Jersey pals.

Coworker: "I'd really like to go to a race"

G: "Really, you should come with me... we go every year, in fact (too far, G, too far) I'm in a pool and everything"

(office silence)

G: For Christ sake, hold the Jersey comments, please.

:-)

At least I'm pretty.

Smooches,

G

It wasn't enough that I blogged....

There is no pleasing some people.... despite the fact that I blogged after being called at 6 am by my boss, the Schmeffster was still left unsatisifed and felt the need to correct me shortly after:

schmeffy: wow....you need an editor.
Me: ?
schmeffy: and you used my real name...
Me: blow me
Me: i no blog, you get mad, i blog there are errors
Me: it was like 7 am
schmeffy: whateva..
schmeffy: you know i never heard anything from that place you made me send stuff to....
schmeffy: i must be ugly.
Me: or have a mishapen head
Me: :-*
schmeffy: :'(
Me: i'm joking, hey-zeus maria
schmeffy: :'(
schmeffy: im gonna go hang out in the land of the misfits. the guy with the big head...
schmeffy: ha ha ha...
schmeffy: hmph.
Me: if you lived on the island of misfit toys..that would be cool b/c i could visit w/santa

a latte of bdays

oooh, blogging from nyc starbucks. god, if only i was a sitcom, then at least i could sleep in 30 mins.

i've been a day late on almost everyone's bdays, basically b/c i'm so tired, i guess if i'm actually fully clothed when there is a draft in the air. Happy birthday to Gina, Boyd and anyone else that is coming up that I'm bound to forget.

I’ve been up since 5 am, media crisis broke at 6 am, missing my other client’s meeting… noone in the ny office gets in b4 9, so I’ve set up a make shift office in starbucks. If this coffee was free, I’d never leave…. in the meantime i'm putting 2 of my bday gifts to good use.... roomie's laptop bag and dee's starbucks card.

i finally got a new ipod, and dee also provided him with something special... an ipod bed. mr. m. mixologist can't get mad at me now, b/c it was a gift. so there. :-P

Trust me, my unnamed ipod and i are both eager to get home so we can both climb into our beds.

Last night a cab driver didn’t know the difference between broadway and west broadway, took me 45 mins to get to my hotel...totally worth it b/c jeff threw a complete fit pounding on the taxi and cursing at the gu…

I really hope I get to go home tonight… or noone finds me curled up in a corner of the office sound asleep…..

It's good to laugh

Even if it is at your mother. This is further wronged by the fact that my parents are currently on an Alaskan cruise where the ship lost one of its engine. In turn, they've lost the flight that was supposed to take them back home from Vancouver. The thought of my mother walking around with 14 life jackets yelling "Len, we're going down", like they're on the Titanic... ah, just too funny.

So, here's a visual too. This is my mom butterchurning for some history day at the animal refuge center she works for. I must say, it never ceases to crack me up.

Smooch,

G

I can surprise you too...

I made a guest appearance at the bachelor party de Schmeffy. I promised him I'd be there since we were 19, so despite my current Utie illnesses, I feel its necessary to keep an 11 year old promise. After all, his promise is far worse... being the person who is stuck with taking care of me when I'm older and feeding pigeons that aren't really there with my 14 cats in tow on a park bench..

That's the thing about my friends... I know even if they were trapped under something heavy, they'd gnaw off the limb and get there, just to make a promise. So I like to return the favor, however small, whenever I can.

Thanks to everyone in my life that is like that. It's rarer than we might think.

It was really great to see my pals this weekend, even if it was brief. And sorry to my boyz for the harsh realization that just because a gal shows up to the bachelor party doesn't mean she's getting naked.

:-)

Love,
G

PS One more Sorry to the Congamaster for parking his Dragon Wagon on the lawn.... never let a girl drive a fine piece of machinery like that.

End of Da Blog

At the moment, I'm out of time, and more importantly, words. When either of those change, I'll return.

They got me again...

Freshly back from Jersey, where I managed to catch the casinos prior to their close. What can I say... my friends and family duped me again and managed to surprise me for an early birthday bash. After two hours of kayaking with my dad (me wondering why I can't keep up with my 67 year old father), who comes to the shore house door but Nicole and Gretchen... I greet them with a sandwich sticking out of my mouth, so tired, that I never even realized neither had been to the house before...

So, I apologize for the fact that I smell like the bay, and my sister-in-law asks me to come out on the deck for the dogs, literally wiping mustard on my shirt, I walk outside and lo and behold, a gaggle of my buddies.

Thanks to all who could make it, I really appreciate everyone making the trip and enduring the fact that I wasn't looking my birthday best!

In other news, I must have you all watch the video of Paulie, here. While Christopher is my godson, I think after you watch the sports terrets video, you'll understand why I truly believe this boy is 1/3 mine.

Smooch,
G

i still love you....

i'm sorry! nyc twice in two weeks and during our current monsoon season... ick 6 hours to fly home. anyway... i have a ton of work here to do, but i wanted to let everyone know i'm sorry for no blogging or contact!

smooch,
G

Once again, The Washington Post has published the winning submissions to its yearly neologism contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words. The winners are:

1. Coffee (n.), the person upon whom one coughs.
2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.
3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.
5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent.
6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightgown.
7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.
8. Gargoyle (n.), olive-flavored mouthwash.
9. Flatulence (n.) emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller. 10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.
11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.
12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists
13. Pokemon (n), a Jamaican proctologist.
14. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.
15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), (back by popular demand): The belief that, when you die, your S oul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.
16. Circumvent (n.), an opening in the front of boxershorts worn by Jewish men.

Well, I warned you summer would be hectic.... Despite my best to keep my tour dates, extras from my job have been thrown in... this week I was in NYC for 2 days and I'm back there at least 3 times in the upcoming month. This is the worst measure the "Gina Return to NJ" campaign has taken yet. (Melissa and Schmeff I know you're behind this).... Anyway, enjoy my last travel adventure. And sorry, Schmeff, still don't miss that town... but thanks for dinner!

Smooch,

G

Me: hi
schmeffster: hello...
schmeffster: back in dc?
Me: yea
schmeffster: how was bridgewater?
Me: after my cab driver fell asleep while we were stuck in traffic and missed la guardia
schmeffster: huh?
Me: i had to cancel my car service, b/c a client issue came up... so i was running to catch my flight... found a cab at 15th & 10th at 3:20. Flight: 5 pm
Me: we were stuck in traffic
schmeffster: yeah well they are every hour...
Me: and i was on the phone, dealing w/the client stuff and i hear all this beeping. I look up and my driver is snoring... i'm like SIR
schmeffster: haha...
Me: banging on the plastic
Me: SIR
Me: you need to WAKE UP
schmeffster: gina, this shit only happens to you.
Me: i know and then... we come up to the airport
Me: and he goes right past
Me: we're heading to the northern state
Me: and i'm like SIR, US AIR
Me: he said, yes
Me: i said, THERE GOES THE AIRPORT
Me: he says oh
schmeffster: heeheheee....
Me: so he pulls off the next exit... then stops the meter
Me: i would've done it myself... then, my flight gets delayed an hour
Me: i swear!

It takes serious talent....

to be picked up in a gay bar. Especially when you're a straight girl being picked up by a straight man...

I must say from a marketing perspective, the concept is brilliant. A straight man having the caljones to walk into a gay bar and hit on a woman who is surrounding by several of her best boys.... I mean, the guy at least gets to buy me a drink for that, and hey, I have several wing men to choose from if I need to escape.

Or so I thought...

So, here I am being wooed by Bachelor #1 an economic analyst from Paris, when a friend of mine who professes to be "an excellent wing man" comes up to us. I introduce them and then do the rescue me glare, when my friend says... nice to meet you, I'm going to go find your Roomie.

Argh.

I realized I had to be my own best friend. I excused myself to Stefan explaining that Roomie is very protective and hates to be apart from me for too long (i kfnow, it was a good one), then ran off to find Roomie.

I explained the wing man failure to Roomie and the Wing Man himself tried to defend his position. He can handle straight wing manning in a straight bar and gay wing manning in a gay bar, but straight wing manning in a gay bar, it was just a system overload.

A valid point, which I accepted.

Hope everyone is enjoying the summer weekend!

Smooch,
G

I'm a Winner!

I don't write frequently enough but you're about to get a Gina first.

I am about to put down the typical, self-deprecating humor and share some true news. (sorry for the self-braggin' but i don't have a man, husband, child or dog to brag about)....

I got a call today from my ol' pal and former colleague, Laurel, who told me that I was a winner.

One of the programs that I implemented and designed during my brief tenure with my mental health non-profit won the 2006 AAA Award of Excellence (something in the association world).

This is pretty damn cool. This is the first project that I did all by myself - design, create, handle everything... and it won an award. My old boss would probably never believe that... which is why I'm about to send him an email with the article.

:-)

Anyway, for those interested, you can see below. But I have to tell you, I'm pretty proud of my darn self.

Smooch,
G

ASAE & The Center Name Third Round of 2006 AAA Award Winners
June 14, 2006
WASHINGTON, DC— Twenty-two associations have been honored with an Award of Excellence in the third round of judging for the 2006 Associations Advance America (AAA) Awards program, sponsored by ASAE & The Center for Association Leadership.

Now in its 16th year, the AAA Awards recognize associations that advance American society with innovative programs in public education, skills training, standard setting, business and social innovation, information and knowledge creation, citizenship and community service.
Selected by a panel of volunteer leaders three times a year, Award of Excellence winners are automatically entered into consideration for the Summit Award, ASAE & The Center’s highest association honor. Six Summit Award winners will be selected by the Associations Advance America (AAA) Committee at its meeting in Washington June 29. The Summit Award winners will be honored at ASAE & The Center’s Summit Awards Dinner Sept. 20, 2006 in Washington, DC.

“Associations play an important role in the success and forward progress of this nation, and the AAA Awards recognize our community’s commitment to strengthening society,” said Bill Bergman, CAE, president of William S. Bergman Associates and 2006 Chair of ASAE’s Associations Advance America Committee. “Not only do the AAA Awards provide recognition to some very deserving organizations, they also help tell the story of what associations do to key audiences like Congress, the media, and the general public.”

Any association is eligible to enter the AAA Awards. The 22 most recent winners were chosen from nearly 100 entries submitted for the May 2006 deadline.
The following programs were honored with a 2006 AAA Award of Excellence:

Anxiety Disorders Association of America Silver Spring, MDProgram: Campus Faces: Increasing Awareness of Anxiety Disorders in Women on Campus

Birthday-O-Rama

There is a lot going on in June and July... Happy Birthday shout outs to Ms. Emily Doyle and her mommy, my sister-in-law and my mom. But most importantly, I've got a super special guy that celebrated his first birthday yesterday.... Unfortunately, I don't live close enough to my godson to be there, but we'll be partying like rockstars in a few weeks.

Happy 1st Birthday Christopher!

Smooch,

Auntie G

9 PM and home...

I managed to become my own worst nightmare on this date. Date asked me to pick a place that was convenient to me, so going with what I know best, I picked the restaurant above one of my favorite pool halls. We agree to meet at 7:30, so I depart my place 7:20ish to arrive casually late.

Only problem is when I get the restaurant, I realize I had given Date the wrong restaurant entirely. Oops. Poor Date is down the street at a different place...

Before you ask, NO, I was not drinking prior to, like the last date. I honestly confused Front Page with the Daily Grill... (PR head was thinking Front Page/Daily News...)

I found this hysterically funny, so I call Date to figure out where the resturant actually is and begin walking over. Date is panicked, offering to pick me up and apologizing for making me walk.

Anyway... this date was pretty bland... nothing else overwhelming exciting.. nice guy, good meal, etc. And I'm guessing since I made myself look like a blonde (I had that hair color for a reason), and that he said "keep in touch", we probably won't be meeting up again...

Smooch and good night,
G

Dude, I'm Getting a Dell

I have about a million unfinished posts for y'all, but I've been all over the place. G finally bit the bullet and bought a new computer (it took 7 years, but I did it!) Hopefully it will arrive this weekend and my online world will get speedier.

At any rate, I will try to finish some of these stories this weekend, but until then... I leave you with this video clip. Apparently, the Lord of the Dance has a competitor who was on the Today Show. I'm just going to throw it out there, that if Mr. Dance decides to take his act on the road, I know a good publicist.

Oh also, an FYI, I'm going on a date tonight (in about 20 minutes actually). I know everyone's been craving a good date story and I haven't even had the time for that! So, I'm sure I'll be posting in about 2 hours about this most recent dating disaster. Ooh, that's not very glass half full, but we all know my track record....

Enjoy: http://video.msn.com/v/us/msnbc.htm?g=8be2e990-cca2-4dfd-8be9-3e13b5d8e643&f=00&fg=email

The Mummers Take Bahamas

Sometimes words will just wreck the moment. Meet the Congamaster... Still kickin' after several drinks and one mean wedding reception boogy to some old skool classics (Sugar Hill Gang, The Humpty Dance, Rob Bass), this chap took the party into his own hands... stealing the spotlight (and headdress) of the local band celebrating some native festival. Not only did the Congamaster lead the band, he created an entire winding snake of people who danced their way through the hotel. Enjoy!

I'm a self-admitted dork...

I was just about to hit the gym in my building on this lazy day off.... but Cats N Dogs the movie is on... so I must delay. I heart this movie.

Why myspace.com is addicting....

Mostly because I've run into more people on that site that I haven't talked to in years... it's so fun to catch up with these kids!

And being that the only thing I've done this weekend is sleep, I counterbalanced with some shopping... http://www.cafepress.com/nineblu

Feel free to check out this site from a bud I went to good ol' Lenape with... great stuff!

Sadly, my iPod, Iggy, has breathed his last breath yesterday, so it would seem I need to continue my shopping today and finally buy a new pod. I mean, I'm only buying a house tomorrow, so I think I need some purchases to calm my nerves.

Smooch!

-G

Ayi yi yi Captain!

Did I mention the Lord of the Dance is multitalented? He is also a boat captain, and a cute one at that.... check this picture of Gilligan and the Skipper deciding to air out the boys in their new banana hammocks. Note: There were several cries from hotel guests for them to put on more clothes, but they stood strong!

Happy holiday from your narcoleptic pal, who slept a grand total of 18 hours yesterday.

Smooch,
G

P.S. Ker and Mrs. Spinella, please don't kill me... this picture just had to be shared.

Ladies and Gentlemen, Meet the Lord of the Dance...

Snap back to reality.... hola, everybody! I am back from St. Louie..... I have enough fodder to blog for the rest of the year from 1 week! And if Scoot can hook me up, I may even have some streaming video!! But, I'll go light for now.... So, here's story #1 (in no sequential order, just as memories hit me)....

Ah, another breezy night in the Bahamas.... I stare off in the distance while on the gazebo, where lo and behold I see.... a man. No ordinary man, this man has the grace of a gazelle and the rhythm of a Jackson.... he is the Lord of the Dance.

One minor problem (or advantage), he's got boogey fever and its funking out all alone on the dance floor. Before the Lady of the Dance finds her man making a spectacle, G decides to run in for a few quick diddys, with her pal.

The Lord was also later joined on stage by his buddies, Moe and Curly. Enjoy the pics and smooch! -G

For Scotty...

In less than two hours I'm back to the airport for my trip to St. Louis. When Scoot found out I wouldn't be blogging, he was sad, as in less than 24 hours he'll be going through his 752 unread emails in his work inbox.... So, here are some highlights of the wedding of the century in le Bahamas, and in the interest of time, the stories will come later:

--The Lord of the Dance taking center stage
--Kung Fu Dancing?
--The Mummers take Bahamas
--Potty Me Elmo
--Indecent Proposal
--M12 shakin' their old skool groves on the floor
--Pina, Banana, Strawberry Coladas w/extra rum
--Ross v. Russ

Oh, and Steve got married. :-)

I'll let the people who were there get a few good laughs from the titles and fill the rest of you all in later.

Unless someone wants to meet me in St. Louis (ha ha ha).

Smooch,
G

Do YOU like Pina Coladas?

Helloooooooo my blog readers,

T minus very few hours before I leave on a jet plane to le Bahamas! That's right, the G concert tour has begun.... I won't be back for awhile, so I wanted to leave you with a post. For those of you jealous of my 5 year in the making vacation, fear not, karma is a bitch and my client has asked that I report to them at 7 am on Tuesday morning (in St. Louis).

Smooches until I return,
G

I was tired of my lady, we'd been together too long. Like a worn-out recording, of a favorite song. So while she lay there sleeping, I read the paper in bed. And in the personals column, there was this letter I read:"If you like Pina Coladas, and getting caught in the rain. If you're not into yoga, if you have half-a-brain.If you like making love at midnight, in the dunes of the cape.I'm the lady you've looked for, write to me, and escape."

I didn't think about my lady, I know that sounds kind of mean. But me and my old lady, had fallen into the same old dull routine. So I wrote to the paper, took out a personal ad. And though I'm nobody's poet, I thought it wasn't half-bad.

"Yes, I like Pina Coladas, and getting caught in the rain.I'm not much into health food, I am into champagne. I've got to meet you by tomorrow noon, and cut through all this red tape. At a bar called O'Malley's, where we'll plan our escape."

So I waited with high hopes, then she walked in the place.I knew her smile in an instant, I knew the curve of her face. It was my own lovely lady, and she said, "Oh, it's you." And we laughed for a moment, and I said, "I never knew"..

"That you liked Pina Coladas, and getting caught in the rain. And the feel of the ocean, and the taste of champagne. If you like making love at midnight, in the dunes of the cape. You're the love that I've looked for, come with me, and escape."

"If you like Pina Coladas, and getting caught in the rain.If you're not into yoga, if you have half-a-brain.If you like making love at midnight, in the dunes of the cape.You're the love that I've looked for, come with me, and escape."

Who Doesn't Love Sisters?

I made a stealth mission to Jersey this weekend to see mom for mothers day.... sorry, I didn't alert anyone, but mom is always feeling neglected that i'm never around when she is, so, i had to move quick. Ok, I stopped along the way and treated myself to a massage and pedi, but still... quick.

And, we went shopping.. where I can tell you that I have found the root of my shopping problem. My mother and I tried on 17 dresses for my upcoming Bahamas wedding... while I did manage to squeak out of the mall with only 1 dress, 1 skirt and 6 new tops... I still didn't find the perfect dress *sigh*

I'm hoping the airport will have something.

Anyway... since my sister made dinner, I was in charge of dessert... so we went to get ice cream. (like I had time between the massage, pedi and shopping to make something)...

Over ice cream, my sister blurts out "HEY, I can't find your BLOG... WHAT's the address"

Recently tech saavy dad inquires, what is a blog? why don't we have the address...

lovely.

So, if I start talking about raindrops on roses and kittens... its because I'll have to take the blog down to a G rating (not that I'm super obscene or anything, but you know... the last thing we need is my mom commenting on my blog).

Happy mother's day to all those hot mommas I know.

Smooches,

G

You know you have a problem when.... (part deux)

Just got to read my pal, Melissa's blog for the first time in a week... We're both working harder than ever (drastically missing the days of yore, when days of our lives, mix cds and word racer kept people like barbara walters on hold)...

Anyway, I exposed a bit of G personality today at work... so, I thought you'd enjoy this scenario:

FedEx man arrives with J. Crew box. G's pulse begins to race, when she realizes, Mr. M. Mixologist has put her on a buying freeze, so the box can't be for her (ah, now G misses when her boss used to send her gift certificates so she could get boxes just like that).

One of the gals in my office expresses joy as this is the dress she's wearing to a wedding this weekend. I casually ask if she's going to share the dress... she looks a bit shocked and I say "oh, I have a small dress buying problem"...

Humoring me, she opens the box, and I exclaim with delight "OOOOH... its the beach seersucker!"

The whole office turns and stares.

My only response was "i told you i had a problem"...

This on top of Overstock.com's relentless "We Miss You - Free Shipping" emails... Mr. M. Mixologist said they were from the devil and I should ignore them (despite the fact that there was a cute hammock that would be perfect for his place).

Oh and in all my busyiness.... I forgot to tell everyone VICTOR IS HOME!!!

That's right, he's back! Slightly torn and tattered still, but we'll get through ok.

Can't wait to see some of ya next week in Le Bahamas... yay!

Smooch,
G

Apologies, Photos...

As I just said to Roomie... "If I were perfect, I'd be a statue." I got my godson's age wrong in my last post. Oy! Sorry, my sweet beautiful Christopher... if it helps, my pal Laurel had to remind me that my folks were coming to town Easter weekend. Of course, they forgot to call me for dinner, but that's just G's family, being G's fam.

Anyway.. while I'm on a roll with apologies, I'm went ahead and posted pics from this weekend's bachelorette party. I hope those that were there dig just how innocent we all look. 15 days, Bahamas... sweet!

Smooch,
G

The G Concert Tour -- Now Appearing in a City Near You

My blogging has been boring and based upon the fact that I now work way too hard. Tis a bummer for y'all, I realize.... but when I come back to you in June, I'm bound to have a million stories to get you through the dog days of summer... I give you the G concert tour dates (aka why you shouldn't get all crazylike if you don't get a blog from me for awhile).

May 5 - Cinco De Mayo (always a good day for me!)
May 6 - le trainer de mean-o (this may hinder cinco de mayo)
May 7 - my favorito hair dresser
May 13 - Mother's Day weekend -- last year we convince mom to meet us halfway at what was the equivalent to a rest stop... may have to buck up and go to Jersey this year (provided that Victor is back... still no guarantee on that).
May 18 - Bahamas... SWEET. All inclusive va-kay and wedding!
May 22, 3 pm - Arrive in DC post Bahamas
May 22, 8:50 pm - Fly to St. Louis (PS if anyone has any suggestions on what I can do in an airport for 6 hours, please advise)
May 24 - Finally back in DC!
May 29 - Memorial Day (sorry Jersey kids... this will be the second shore trip I miss)
May 30 - G owns her home.
June 3 - Excessively cute baby girl turns 2 in Jersey
June 9 - Mom's bday (back to NJ)
June 10 - Excessively cute godson turns 2 in N. Jersey
(Poor Pop will not be seeing me for father's day)
June 25 - Roomie's adorable niece in dance recital in, yep, Jersey
July 4 - My daddy's bday in, YES, Jersey.

But other than that, I'm really just sittin' here with me thumb in my ..... mouth. You can kinda see why all you Jersey folks will pretty much have to travel past the Mason Dixon if you expect to see me turn 30... On a good note, it will be kind of like I never turned 30 (proverbial tree falling in the woods so to speak!)

AC was lovely... but travelling on a train hungover for almost 5 hours was pretty icky.

Anyway, I forgot I would make dinner... so I'm off.

smooch,
G

Isn't working hard enough...

New Job.. ack. Work, Hard. Way too hard. I am home, at 11:40 on a Friday. Bleck.

Anyway... I asked my dear pal Anthony to make millions so I could be his assistant, but in the meantime...

Effective May 30, 2006, G, that's right, this gal, will be a HOMEOWNER.

My closing is that date... oh, but the exciting doesn't stop there. G attends le wedding o' the century in the Bahamas just 2 weeks prior where less than 6 hours after she lands back home in DC, she then departs to St. Louis. That's right, St. Louis.

Agh. My goal is to be drunk the entire way home.. but we'll see.

Smooch,
G

G Gone Wild

Recovering from last night... brief highlights, lost in single elim pool tourney b/c I didn't get a warm up game.... proceeded to win a few games outside the tourney and Roomie came in 2nd place, giving us some cash back on our bar tab... yay, free drinks. Owww, not too loud, still head hurting.. loud noises... baaaad. (Just ask Scoot.)

Anyway, I promised some bachelorette party stories.... being that I'm the queen of weddings (always a bridesmaid...never le bride), here are some various tidbits. And for those of you panicking that I'm mentioning you as part of these posts, relax, I'll just implicate myself in the bad behavior area!

Bachelorette Party #1 - NYC
G attends bachelorette party at PollyEsther's in NYC where she befriends several young Brits. It is the first time she hears of Red Bull and vodka... If memory serves, she winds up making out w/youngest looking Brit... who when the pictures came back could not have been legal (and by legal I mean probably not eligible to drive, let alone drink). G stays behind w/a few gals as the rest of the party leaves and decides to hail a cab to get back to the Boken. G hails cab by falling on top of it and twisting her ankle. She helps herself up using the cab door and the terrified cabby agrees to drive G and gals back to the 'Boken as her scraped knee and hands bleed all the way home.

Scared that the bride may be upset by G's immature rowdiness, she plays off the injury for the entire week and during the wedding.

Bachelorette Party #2 - Cherry Hill, NJ
The die-hard gals that they are, we had not one but two preggers at this party. G is convinced that she needs not one but several gold zippo lighters and signs up numerous people's information with Marlboro man (and her parents still receive Marlboro promotions to this day). Also, G decides that it's necessary to serenade this future bride, so she gets on stage and sings "Born To Run" with a very large lead singer, who during a set break, she asks to go to Vegas and get married.

Bachelorette Party #3 - Atlantic City, NJ
G gets hammered before we even get to the club, proceeds to get lost while using the bathroom, having no clue where she is until her phone rings (yes, I was in the bathroom for a long time... and no recollection why). After finding the rest of the party, G falls flat on her face amidst a nasty drink and cigarette butt lined floor, claiming her shoes are slippy. Not feeling so hot on the way home, someone convinces G it is absolutely appropriate to throw up in the bus. Thinking her friend must be sober, G follows her advice and spends the rest of her life apologizing to that bride. Again, I'm sorry.

Bachelorette Party #4 - Philadelphia, PA
My sister will never read this blog, mostly because there isn't enough pictures. Regardless, I'm sure she'd love that this story is out there. G reunites w/Polly Esther's in Philly, after doing limoncello shots at Bucca di Beppo. She goes from sober to drunk in roughly 6 drinks and is found hugging a wall. My sister's friend graciously decides to take me home but we hit one too many bumps and I'm not feeling well. She pulls in my parent's driveway (who are away, thankfully), I open the door and ralph. I then proceed to set off house alarm because I'm too drunk to remember the code. I continue on to the bathroom where I became one with the hideous green porcelain god my parents own. I hear the phone ring, my sister's friend assure the police that I'm not a burglar, and then she tells me my sister is going to the ER. "That's nice," I say. It turns out my sister was knocked unconcscious in the middle of a bar fight between two guys....

I wake up next to the toilet, still ill. My dog, Lucky, so excited I'm alive, comes over and kisses me. I try to sleep it off, but it just wasn't working. I was pretty sure I had alcohol poisoning and then I realized my sister never came home. She called at 2:30, I was still ill. She told me to come get her, I said no. I couldn't move. It was true. She finally finds her way home from her future in-laws house (where she and her best friend spent the night being ill) and I'm attempting to shower. She told me after I was done, I should clean the driveway... several days later, I was still ill. It was the worst hangover, ever.

So, there you have it, the tales of G and the bachelorette parties.

I'm sure one more will be coming next week.

Smooch,
G

Atlantic City, Baby....

I'm off tonight to work on my tolerance levels to prepare for next weekend's bachelorette party extravaganza.... enjoy this and I'll tell you some real bachelorette tales this week....

Smooch!
-G

WHEN GIRLS DRINK TOO MUCH:

1. WE HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA WHERE OUR PURSE IS.

2. WE BELIEVE THAT DANCING WITH OUR ARMS OVERHEAD AND WIGGLING OUR BUTT WHILE YELLING "WOO-HOO!" IS TRULY THE SEXIEST DANCE MOVE AROUND.

3. WE'VE SUDDENLY DECIDED THAT WE WANT TO KICK SOMEONE'S ASS AND HONESTLY BELIEVE WE COULD DO IT TOO.

4. OUR LAST TRIP TO PEE, WE REALIZE THAT WE NOW LOOK MORE LIKE A HOMELESS HOOKER THAN THE GODDESS WE WERE JUST FOUR HOURS AGO.

5. WE DROP OUR 3:00 A.M. SUBMARINE SANDWICH ON THE FLOOR (WHICH WE'RE EATING EVEN THOUGH WE ARE NOT THE LEAST BIT HUNGRY), PICK IT UP AND CARRY ON EATING IT.

6. WE STA RT CRYING AND TELLING EVERYONE WE SEE THAT WE LOVE THEM SOOOOO MUCH.

7. WE GET EXTREMELY EXCITED AND JUMP UP AND DOWN EVERY TIME A NEW SONG PLAYS BECAUSE "OH MY GOD! I LOVE THIS SONG!"

8. WE'VE FOUND A DEEPER/SPIRITUAL SIDE TO THE GEEK SITTING NEXT TO US.

9. THE MAN WE'RE FLIRTING WITH USED TO BE OUR 5TH GRADE TEACHER.

10. THE URGE TO TAKE OFF ARTICLES OF CLOTHING, STAND ON A TABLE AND SING OR DANCE BECOMES STRANGELY OVERWHELMING TO US.

11. OUR EYES JUST DON'T SEEM TO WANT TO STAY OPEN ON THEIR OWN SO WE KEEP THEM HALF C LOSED AND THINK IT LOOKS EXOTICALLY SEXY.

12. WE'VE SUDDENLY TAKEN UP SMOKING AND BECOME REALLY GOOD AT IT.

13. WE YELL AT THE BARTENDER, WHO WE BELIEVE CHEATED US BY GIVING US JUST LEMONADE, BUT THAT'S JUST BECAUSE WE CAN NO LONGER TASTE THE GIN.

14. WE THINK WE ARE IN BED, BUT OUR PILLOW FEELS STRANGELY LIKE THE KITCHEN FLOOR (er, or, the mop?).

15. WE START EVERY CONVERSATION WITH A BOOMING, "DON'T TAKE THIS THE WRONG WAY BUT..."

16. WE FAIL TO NOTICE THAT THE TOILET LID'S DOWN WHEN WE SIT ON IT.

17. OUR HUGS BEGIN TO R ESEMBLE WRESTLING TAKE-DOWN MOVES.

18. WE ARE TIRED SO WE JUST SIT ON THE FLOOR (WHEREVER WE HAPPEN TO BE STANDING) AND TAKE A QUICK NAP.

19. WE BEGIN LEAVING THE BUTTONS OPEN ON OUR BUTTON FLY PANTS TO CUT DOWN ON THE TIME WE'RE IN T HE BATHROOM AWAY FROM OUR DRINK.

20. WE TAKE OUR SHOES OFF BECAUSE WE BELIEVE IT'S THEIR FAULT THAT WE'RE HAVING PROBLEMS WALKING STRAIGHT.

Work, work and more work...

Hey, at least you get a blog out of me:

18 Ways to Maintain a Healthy Insanity

1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.

2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.

3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.

4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "in".

5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.

6. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sexual favors."

7. Finish all your sentences with "in accordance with the prophecy."

8. Don't use any punctuation.

9. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.

11. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."

12. Sing along at the opera.

13. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.

14. Put mosquito netting around your work area and play tropical sounds all day.

15. When the money comes out the ATM, scream "I won!, I won!"

16. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot yelling "run for your lives, they're loose!!"

17. Tell your children over dinner. "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go."And the FINAL way to keep a healthy level of insanity.......

18. Send this e-mail to someone to make them smile. It's called therapy...

The Lame-o Post

I just walked in from burgers y pool night w/Laurel... she ate le burger, I ate the spicy fries (one plate would've done us fine after M. Love's DC drinks).... Roomie said to person he was conversing "let me go, b/c she's writing everything down and she'll start blogging".

Now, in spite, I blog... of course, I could blog the notes I wrote from the convo... but that would violate privacy... hee hee hee... I know, stop laughing... to keep the peace on this "if a gun were held to my head" happy home... I'll be lame-o and give ya the following (my hommage to the le world de hard worko:

There is a dangerous virus being passed electronically, orally and by hand. This virus is called Worm-Overload-Recreational-Killer (WORK). If you receive WORK from any of your colleagues, your boss or anyone else via any means DO NOT TOUCH IT. This virus will wipe out your private life completely.

If you should come into contact with WORK put your jacket on and take two good friends to the nearest pub. Purchase the antidote known as Work-Isolator-Neutralizer-Extractor (WINE). Take the antidote repeatedly until WORK has been completely eliminated from your system.

You should forward this warning to 5 friends. If you do not have 5 friends, you have already been infected and WORK is controlling your life.

Update: After extensive testing it has been concluded that Best-Equivalent-Extractor-Remedy (BEER) may be substituted for WINE but may require a more generous application.

I wanna bang on the drums all day...

Yay, new job... boo... a latte o' work-o. Seriously, I'm writing to you all right now and my co-workers are still at the office, 9:15 pm. oof!

You have to be ubersmart for this job, so that's not so good for G.

Too tired.. need drinkys, will write more over the bunny weekend.

smooch,
G

Los Favoritos de 'Boken

A friend of mine went to my old stompin' ground, Hoboken, this weekend and I prepared this list so he could acclimate quickly to North Jersey... made me miss the 'Boken, I must say.... always liked it a bit more than the Big Apple. Anyway, enjoy:

Terms and Phrases

Washington St - the main street in town; where most shopping and stores are; Hoboken doesnt' have too many chain stores, so you have to walk the town.

Not for nuthin' - at any rate

Fuggetaboudit - no worries

*fuckin' - in front of any word is the normal prefix

Drinks and Eats

Best Sandwich - Fiore's 4th and Adams... roast beef & mozz (pronounced "mutz") , extra gravy.

Best Margaritas - Baja, 14th (btwn Washington and Bloomfield St.) -- Mmmm... the coconut margarita.

Best Place to Eat, Drink and Chat (low key) - Court Street Pub (I think this is 6th, maybe 7th; right past Washington St.)

2nd Place to Eat, Drink and Chat (low key) - Gaslight (Corner of 4th and Adams - yummy martini menu) Also the site of my infamous speed dating adventure... nothing is better than being stalked by an actor.

Best Place to Drink and Chat (low key) - 3 A's (4th, between Adams and Clinton - also yummy martini menu) The gummy bear giant martini, great birthday gift!

Best Cajun and Hurricanes - Oddfellows (near the PATH station; River and 1st, I think) Too many fun times at this joint to count...

Best Overall on Washington - The Mile Square (3rd and Washington) Melissa and I's place... always brought people here to eat and the cutest boy ran it.

Best Overcrowded and Rowdy - Green Rock and Hobson's (both worth it for the musical selection... the first time i ever heard "You're the Best" from the karate kid soundtrack was at Green Rock) Green Rock is all Noelle!

Bars that define "Jersey Girl" and other Jersey stereotypes (kind of like being in a museum) - Bahama Mamas, Planet Hoboken

Challenge Extended...

I started a goal book this year and so far, I'm doing well... (except for the April deadlines, but I've been a bit busier than I expected).

I bought couches, made chicken soup, will be making more money.... I was on a roll, so I decided to start extending challenges for other people.

This led me to the summer challenge for Mr. M. Mixologist, who also has spent the first quarter of this year achieveing his goals. His challenge, which he has accepted, is to create the perfect mojito. Sounds simple? The challenge is two-fold because he needs to grow the mint in his garden.

Always willing to up the stakes (truly, I've played many a poker game with this chap and he is virtually unstoppable), Mr. M. Mixologist intends to not only create the best mojito in the state of Jersey, but will be creating his own patented version that if anything like his homemade Smores will go like hot cakes at his bar.

My challenge for me today is to not sleep all day... turns out being in accident leaves you pretty sore and tired, and I think I'm at hour number 20 of sleep for this weekend. Not good because I need to plan my first day of school clothes for tomorrow.

Wish me luck kids! And please hope that noone crashes into me tomorrow.

Smooch,
G

My Poor Sweet Victor...

For those of you just tuning in, Victor is my sweet beloved silver VW Turbo Beetle Convertible. We met on a car lot in Cherry Hill, NJ and I had named him before I even drove him. Definitely love at first sight.... and when I did step inside, he immediately warmed me up with his heated seats.... couple that with his punchy turbo, convertibleness (a G mandate in vehicles) and his general cuteness and we were a perfect match.

Like all men, Victor cost me a bit more than I wanted to spend, but we went everywhere together. He kept me singing with his monsoon sound system on my weekly trips from le 'Boken to DC and back. While unhappy, he never complained about the fact that he went from a covered warm garage to a gated parking lot. He used to love driving down the shore, especially at night so we could gaze at the stars....

Right now, Victor is at a body shop... cold and alone. Sadly, we were in an accident yesterday and Victor is undriveable at the moment. While, we're both relatively ok, my knee is hurting pretty bad and I'm sore... and Victor is no longer an ambi-turner, we had to K turn to get him off the street. I'm pretty sure the cops wrote down that I was in bad mental shape because I kept rubbing Victor's wounds and apologizing.

I even drove with the slightly scary tow truck driver to take him to the body shop (who when he found out I was from NYC, made me recount my 9/11 story like it happened yesterday and asked me to comment on the fire/police radio situation), where they promised to take good care of him. I left his little scarf woobie in the cup holder and all his favorite Melissa mix CDs (we were listening to Rockin' Hair Bands when the accident happened, track 6, David Lee Roth's Just Like Livin' in Paradise--I was just at the "wooo" part). :-(

It was a sad, bad last day at my job.... but of course, I am able to realize that it just sucks... I'm not dead (we'll revisit that though after my dad gets the insurance bill) or hospitalized (again, let's see what Daddy says when the insurance bill comes in) and Victor can be mended (they can rebuild him).

On the bright side, my two closest buds at work, walked down to the accident and sat in the rain for an hour waiting with me for the tow truck. They brought me coffee and my gal, Laurel (who pays attention when I ramble) said, "It could be worse, you could be ugly."

Ain't it the truth.

Smooch,
G

C is for Crazy..

Double dose today... my new job asked me to provide them with "fun facts" about me for the company newsletter. Agh, what a fate worse than death!

Here's what I sent:

Gina is a doggy voyeur (because her building won't allow them) and is addicted to pool. She is normally the most popular and only (real) girl in most DC area gay bars. She's guaranteed to bring the company Xmas party to new levels of unprofessionalism. Prior to her move to DC, her former position was with some lunatic whose blog has been censored by the FCC.


Ok. I'm joking, but I did really send it to HR (relax, I know the person) along with this one:

Gina spends most of her time sharpening her newly found pool skills, hanging with her friends, getting to know the DC area, reading or watching a movie. She also enjoys visiting her friends and family (most especially her dog, Lucky and her godson, Christopher) in the NJ area when she can. She is a big Ben Stiller movie fan, too.

We all know which version is the truth.

Smooch again,
G

Homojo and Beyond...

My hetero lifemate, Melissa, and I both managed to use the same philosophy over the last few days taught to us by one smart chic we both love, Noelle. On the rare bad and hard days in our little old PR office, Noelle would say, "Not for nothin' guys, it could be worse, we could be ugly."

Never ceased to bring a smile to my face. Kind of like the scene in the Money Pit where the bathtub falls through the floor and Tom Hanks laughs... or today's news story about how Jesus could've walked on ice according to a study (see snippet and link below). One of these days, I really need to get a study funded....

Other news... I'm completely "first day of school" nervous about starting my job on Monday. Terrified.... to know me is to love me, but its realizing that I'm crazy and cute, yet have some brain power, that is a problem. Just ask my hetero mate... who hated me when she first met me... and threw books over our cube wall by shouting "LEGAL SOCCER THROW", told me I pasted up news clips like an alcoholic and tried to implicate me in a copier fire. But, the good news is that she loves me now.

Moving on... my hairstylist invited me to his birthday party.... which I found so super cute (and yes, now I have to tip him even more).... and to really make my day, the cute guy behind the counter at Panera insisted on giving me free pastries and cookies for making me wait for my lunch. Something must be in the air, let's just hope it carries over until Monday.

Ok, enjoy the news story and I hope everyone is having an awesome day!

Rare conditions could have conspired to create hard-to-see ice on the Sea of Galilee that a person could have walked on back when Jesus is said to have walked on water, a scientist said today.

Smooch!
-G

That's My Boy!

I take full credit for having a godson this adorable. :-)

I am really good at being me...

Hola kids, I'm back from Miami! For the record, I was up every morning at 5 AM and worked until 10 PM which was ok by me considering Miami is a DUMP. Granted didn't go to South Beach, but still, a dump and the people were mean. Like I missed NYC subways for a moment...

At any rate, I can finally and officially announce that I'm leaving my job. Friday is my last day and then I start the following Monday at a PR agency. Back to the world of crazy work hours and "professionalism". Sad, considering I've upped my crazy levels a notch and suggested that our pharmaceutical sponsors may like a theme song... "Drugs Will Keep Us Together" ala Capt. and Tennille. I also decided to play with some bouncy balls that Roomie got for me while I was away in the office.. until one got out of control and landed in my coffee....

In other G news, I'm proud to report that I had my first meeting with a personal trainer today! I decided to get my money's worth and give her a real challenge, so I went out way too late last night and consequently drank way too much. And who else do you know that would be sitting popping Tylenol while eating Pop Tarts and Diet Pepsi in her car, getting psyched for the personal training session.

I actually did good though... she said my core is strong and that I was flexible (ooh). I had a minor mishap with those 1/2 exercise balls you're supposed to stand and do squats on (which are super dumb inventions if you ask me). But other than that.. I'm all good. She did mention she was being nice so I would come back and that next time I should get there 15 mins. early to warm up. I'm sure I'll hate her soon.

:-)

Hope everyone is enjoying this weird warm weather!

Smooch,
G

Bienvenido A Miami

Alright kids.. one quick post before I go...

I have to head to Miami for my association's annual conference. And everyone who just said "so lucky" or "so jealous", please bite me. Our hours are 6 AM to 7 - 10 PM every day... in Seattle last year I only saw the floor that the conference was on and my room.

Although, I was voted most likely to get arrested... either for public drunkeness or nudity. Geez, you mention mojitos and you're labeled "problem".

Last but not least, before I head out... I wish Scotty a very happy 30th birthday! I'm sorry I won't be around and I hope turning 30 doesn't make you feel too old. If it does, please lie to me on my rapidly approaching birthday (or at least call me darlin' alot).

I'm sure I'll have some lovely airport security stories for you upon my return (see last March for last year's adventures at BWI)

Love and kisses...

-Gina

Couches from Hell....

In my whirlwind of recent shopping adventures, I decided to finally replace my old couches with new ones. Despite trying to own all the cute things on earth, i was hesitant to spend alot of cash but the holes in the couches were making me nuts, so I went and bought them.

Had I known, that these would be the couches from hell... I would've suffered through the holes.. however, at this point the first delivery of the couches was defunct because I managed to pick the largest couch the company made and it didn't fit through our hallway.

Now today, after a long night out, I struggled to stay awake and anxiously awaited our second shot... the loveseat version of gigantor-couch. An hour later than promised, the couch arrived. But I never got to see it. Sadly, our management decided to enforce some stupid ass rule about no deliveries on a Sunday and the couches drove off...

:-(

Roomie and I did get to have 2 seperate full on anger displays with the management and the security guard (who could've let us sneak the couch in w/o problem). I even got to say "I look forward to having this come out of your paycheck, because it ain't comin' out of mine".

Defeated once again by furniture, I did the right thing.

I slept.

Smooch,
G

I've Just Become a Lifetime Movie....

Wow... I have to tell you, I thought I was half kidding about my shopping addiction, but I had 3 real life interventions via IM today. You people (well, except Dee), don't appreciate the need for cute things, I've decided.

See below:

Me: how do i not own this: http://www.fredflare.com/customer/product.php?productid=1625&cat=254
Mr. M. Mixologist: down girl... you do not have to own every cute thing on earth
Me: :'(
Mr. M. Mixologist: no tears... be strong
Me (fighting back): no tough love ...its $10!
Mr. M. Mixologist: that money would be better spent on shoes

Now, I could've stopped there, but I was shocked, appalled and felt the need to justify... so, I send the link to Schmeffy and continue my reasoning (by telling Mr. M. Mixologist that I was purchasing him the iPod/cell phone bed):

Me: i don't know how you can possibly say that i can't own every cute thing on earth... its a bed for your ipod! your ipod can look like a lil' man in his bed...you need that, you really do
Mr. M. Mixologist: my ipod is very happy living in his donut
Me: i'm glad Ivan (hey, i went to Key West with this ipod.. of course I named it) is happy, although him in bunny slippers makes me happier
Mr. M. Mixologist (I'm breaking him!): hehehe

(now stern schmeffster intervenes)

Me: man... i'm getting it from all ends
Schmeffster: you want me to talk you out of dresses and you want a cell phone bed?
Mr. M. Mixologist: GO JEFF!
Me: Um, sorry, but you didn't see the dress... there is NO way you'd tell me no to this dress
Mr. M. Mixologist: i said nothing about a dress...don't change the subject
Me (ut oh, now I'm really in trouble): i didn't buy anything.. i just said it was cute. :-[

Mr. M. Mixologist: here's how this works:
1-G says something is cute
2-Mr. M. Mixologist says "OH... is it"
3-G buys it to show Mr. M. Mixologist
4-G has more credit card bills

I lose ground after this... telling him that if I were to go into credit card debt it would only further fuel my eventual move back to Jersey and help me move in with him and Insecta's author, the Paul. I realize I'm defeated on these fronts... so I try to enlist the help of someone I know loves shopping as much as I do, Dee. She proceeds to tell me that from one addict to another, I have a problem. :-(

Roomie, of course, lends a final confirmation.

You people are crazy and clearly don't appreciate the necessities in life... and ipod/cell phone bed w/bunny slippers.... everyone needs that.

Happy St. Pats!

Smooch,
G

Tales from the Dating Crypt

Hi All...

This one isn't from me... it's from one of my favorite Jersey gals and I must say, this sounds like a story to be told at their wedding, so I wish her the best of luck!

Smooch,
G

The Meeting

I met this guy because a friend of his (found out later on it was just an acquaintance.......) who had long hair like Steven Segal wearing a Playboy t-shirt and blazer was talking to me and then after 5 minutes was like wait whats your name, what do you do again he was really obnoxious….….so I went over to his friends and was like who does he belong to?

Then I told his friends why I didn’t want to keep talking to him and his friend was like oh are we supposed to be on your side and I was like Yes…..so then I started talking to that guy that I am talking to now……

He is half Russian jewish half Columbian….where do I find these mutts???

The First Date (They went to a spa; G note: that's a slick dude!)
I told myself ok.. we are going to a spa lets try not to get my hair entirely wet, the first date is too soon to show off the curly hair……so we went to a place in the city where for one, I was subjected to wearing a bathing suit, then had to go in a sauna that was way too hot for human beings and then he asked that I get this special massage they offer…..which included having some big russian guy named Ivan beat me with leaves, saturate me with soap and then to top it off have buckets of cold water thrown on me.

I was so embarrassed and mortified that if he didn’t’ then treat me to a normal massage, I probably would have never spoken to him again……this thus far was the most original first date I have ever been on……

Tales from the Dating Crypt

Hi All...

This one isn't from me... it's from one of my favorite Jersey gals and I must say, this sounds like a story to be told at their wedding, so I wish her the best of luck!

Smooch,
G

The Meeting

I met this guy because a friend of his (found out later on it was just an acquaintance.......) who had long hair like Steven Segal wearing a Playboy t-shirt and blazer was talking to me and then after 5 minutes was like wait whats your name, what do you do again he was really obnoxious….….so I went over to his friends and was like who does he belong to?

Then I told his friends why I didn’t want to keep talking to him and his friend was like oh are we supposed to be on your side and I was like Yes…..so then I started talking to that guy that I am talking to now……

He is half Russian jewish half Columbian….where do I find these mutts???

The First Date (They went to a spa; G note: that's a slick dude!)
I told myself ok.. we are going to a spa lets try not to get my hair entirely wet, the first date is too soon to show off the curly hair……so we went to a place in the city where for one, I was subjected to wearing a bathing suit, then had to go in a sauna that was way too hot for human beings and then he asked that I get this special massage they offer…..which included having some big russian guy named Ivan beat me with leaves, saturate me with soap and then to top it off have buckets of cold water thrown on me.

I was so embarrassed and mortified that if he didn’t’ then treat me to a normal massage, I probably would have never spoken to him again……this thus far was the most original first date I have ever been on……

Warning - this post contains nudity

Ok... after reorganizing both my sock and underwear drawer last night and then moving my stereo into my room (and cleaning), I decided it was time for me to go out, despite being in sickiness recovery. At the moment, I'm feeling ok... although we'll see what our friend Mr. Jager has to say about that when the coffee hits my stomach.

In the meantime, I give you a reason why I'm never having kids. Because my children, will never be this cute... even if my godson's mother insists on taking baby porn pics.

Smooch,

G

Oops.. I left one out

Where has G been? I know, I'm sorry... things have been a lil' crazy these past few weeks (buying my place, purchasing sofas that didn't fit (fyi for people who haven't bought sofas before -- measuring is key), purchasing sofas that do fit, etc.) leading me to be run down, thus catching le cold y flu that is going around. So, as I sit and recover (which is killing me with this beautiful weather), I realize I left one of my addictions.

Beads.

That's right, I'm totally addicted to collecting those cheap Mardi Gras beads. I have a bunch of them now, so many, that I need to find a new place for them (or some how work them into a mural that Telecomedian is painting for me). Now, you dirty minds are thinking that I get these beads through the traditional means of flashing. That's not entirely true. The bulk are done through complete negotiation (minus the one underage boy that I kissed in Key West, which doesn't really count any way, because I was drunk and the beads were super cool)....

In other news, despite being ill, I had to go through with my hair appointment yesterday, because we all know that beauty takes precidence over health. My stylist, who insisted I go straight home and to bed because I looked ill (as did my boss, so I guess I must look pretty nasty), also will not let me dye my hair a new color. In fact, he won't even let me get highlights. He said that after several years of blonde, my hair is finally getting healthy and he refuses to alter it in any way. I insisted that this color is way too normal for me, and I didn't know if I could handle it or if I wouldn't take matters into my own hands. He gave me an evil look (one only a stylist could give--sort of like "if you disobey, I will not fix). Hmph...

At any rate kids, not too much to report.... other than being aggravated that cable TV didn't get the memo that I'm ill and there is nothing on TV (I watched Batman Forever, for pete's sake).

Hope everyone is well.. take those vitamin Cs.

Love,
G